“I Scratch; You Move”

Today, when my Mom walked into my room to get me out of my bed, the back of my right shoulder was itching. I put my left hand in my shirt to scratch it and then I smiled pretty broadly. My Mom asked about that.

I’m not very talkative in the morning, but I continued smiling, and just told her, “I scratch; you move.” I had that warm memory in my mind as my Mom was taking the covers off of me. I explained that Sean told me that I have the best nails to scratch backs, but I suck at scratching them!

I think that was the beginning of the loss of control of my hands. I just told him, “I scratch; you move.” I would then just raise my left hand and shake it, and he would take his shirt off and move himself to make it, so that I was scratching his back.

I was thinking of that memory with fondness because my Mom cut all of my nails to the nub yesterday because I need to not have them to put my contacts in and to take them out of my eyes. Yeah, I still wear my contacts, even though I wear glasses with a prism on them.

I will see my optometrist in July, but I won’t see my neural ophthalmologist until next year.

Back in Black

I had an appointment downtown at RIM to get sized for a new power chair. My appointment time was for 1 o’clock in the afternoon. We were pulling out of the office at 2:35 today. I am exhausted because we had to get up so early this morning!

Diane is the head occupational therapist who gets everything together for my chair. Dave is my wheelchair tech who comes to my house. They have opposite facing desks on opposite walls. My Mom set on the exam table and I sat in my chair.

Christie even stopped by because she was in the building! She was the person to suggest getting a PowerChair and five years later, that was an excellent decision!

Diane knows that this is not our first rodeo in getting a chair from RIM. She refreshed our memories which I appreciated! It was really nice to be sitting in that room between both of them typing away on their computers. Diane would stop to periodically ask Dave some dimension of my chair and he get up and would check it out on my chair.

It was almost to the end of their typing when Diane walked over to me with a ring of swatches. She told me that it’s time for the important question and asked me which color I wanted. My Mom told her that I will pick black because I always pick black!

I went with the glossy black opposed to the matte black finish. Apparently, the sparkly black is only for manual chairs. We talked about the time schedule for me to receive my new chair and we discussed my co-pay. Disability is still for the rich but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be! I should have my new wheels in July or August and I am back in black.

If it Ain’t Broke, Don’t Fix it.

I think that I wasn’t even out of bed until about 2 o’clock this afternoon. I did not put my contacts in today. My eyes need to rest! I am a little bit startled at how exhausted I was yesterday, but I think that is because my appointment time was for 1:00 in the afternoon!

I NEVER am awake that early and ready to be out in the world! But, I will not have to have another appointment with Dave and Diane at RIM for five years. So there’s always that. I really appreciated seeing that I am in the correct place and seeing how well Dave and Diane do their jobs!

Because they are really great! We were discussing my seat cushion. That is a big thing now! It’s perilous if it is not comfortable!!! I sit all day long! I think that it was about a year ago when I first started having problems with the seat cushion and I started talking with her about that then.

Dave stopped by with a new seat cushion for me to try out a couple months ago because that’s the new seat cushion I would have in my new chair. Diane watched my Mom transfer me to the table from my chair and she told us based on how my Mom moves me uses the ‘give’ in my current cushion to slide me off of the chair.

She told us, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” And we decided to stay with my current seat cushion. Things are really starting to get serious with this whole MS thing… I don’t think that I am fully prepared for it yet really…

Bob Ross OR Depressing

So, I am not sure why this is showing up in my feed, but it is, and then I will explain the chain of events that took place:

Thanking about it, I think I know how it happened! My Mom and I were talking about The Little Mermaid with Melissa McCarthy and now these videos are showing up on my phone. I think she’s hilarious and I have to watch them!

Wait. What?! There is a documentary produced by them on Bob Ross on Netflix?! I knew that I had to watch that! I have to explain to you first that I have not worn contacts since Thursday:

It took me all weekend to watch this documentary, and I watched it on my phone. I was reminded of watching PBS when I was home sick from school.

It was kind of a depressing story when it was all done… I hoped it would have ended better than it did…

DISASTER OR MORE than a Recovery Weekend

I have never been good at math at all! But I let my Mom know that I’m pretty sure that:

an early appointment + horrible weather = DISASTER!!!

Because it is!!! This has been going on for more than a month, but my body cannot figure out what season it is and therefore is feeling insane!

When I was up and seated in my living room, my Mom was walking toward me coming out of my room, and I just said, “My body has never felt like this before!” and I felt myself tear up. But all my Mom had to do was put her arms out and hug me and then it changed to full-blown shoulder shaking, and tears streaming down my cheeks!

I really wish that I would just bounce back already, but I did not even put my contacts in today either so it looks like it will be more than a recovery weekend…

“Better” OR 29 Years!

My Mom told me last night as we were getting ready for bed that I looked like I was feeling better. And today I actually feel better myself, but better is the suggestive term! I have been feeling bad since last Thursday when I had to go and get fitted for a new wheelchair.

The appointment was so early that that’s difficult to come back from and this crazy weather is not making me feel well at all, and I am just a mess!

But I am feeling better today and I actually wore my contacts. Putting my contacts in my eyes has gone through a lot of changes since I was 12. That’s when I started wearing them. But for the last 22 years, I have been dealing with disease progression and loss of control of my hands.

Sean remembers me popping my contacts out of my eyes with my long nails when he was young, but now my nails are cut down to the nubs so I don’t scratch my eyeball! Now, my Mom has to watch me put my contacts into my eye, and because I can’t control my hands that much.

It’s very deliberate where just hold the top of my eyelid open with my right hand use my left hand to pull my lower lid down, and I use my index finger to just move the contact close my eyeball and then it suctions onto it!

I would say in the past few months, I have figured it out. My contacts just pop into my eyes the first try! And when that happens, I just smile and close my eyes while my Mom gets my glasses for me to put on, and I tell her 29 years like I am singing a Kanye West song!:

My Buggy Eye

My Mom took this picture last week I think. My Mom was taking a picture of my sweatshirt to send to my brother, and she noticed my eye. I told her that’s my buggy eye.

Let me ‘splain ya:

I was diagnosed with optic neuritis in right eye when I was about six months pregnant. That really didn’t matter because I had another eye. My left eye decided to join the optic neuritis party when Sean was about 10 I think.

I’ve had optic neuritis in both of my eyes for about a decade. I still wear my contacts, but I have to wear glasses to have a prism in front of my right eye. I call it my buggy eye:

Even with my contacts in and the prism in front of my eye, my right eye gets a little wonky and you can see that in the picture and it doesn’t feel good all the time!

Greek Mythology

I had this random memory yesterday and I have been trying to flesh it out since then! But my memories are where I live now and this is kind of a vague memory and at least 20 years since I taught this!

I think that it may have been my third year teaching English, and I needed to come up with an elective for one class of students. I think it had something to do with the schedule or something but I only taught this elective for one semester!

I think that my principal had all this information for me to run a Greek Mythology class. I remember he had books already and I went to Barnes and Noble.(because that was still there then) and I bought the same book that he had. I took it to Kinko’s and had them cut off the binding so I could make copies more easily for my students.

The memory I had yesterday was seeing Ana’s name in Greek on the back wall of my classroom. That was the first lesson that I gave them. I gave them all copies of the Greek alphabet and had them make an 11 x 14 poster of their name in Greek. I remember that I had printed larger fonts of the words that said, “It’s all Greek to us.” Ana’s name looked exactly the same! That was the first poster on the left.

I am going to be thinking about this for a long time, but I remember showing them The first Clash of the Titans. I remember having to have them get a permission slip signed because they were only in seventh grade! There is some nudity! I remember making a big deal about it when there was nudity. My kids laughed and I told them (the boys) to close their eyes!

I know that book without the binding has to be in one of my bins of my teaching things. I haven’t thought about that for a while! But I remember laughing with the movie because my kids thought it was so old because it was from the 1970s.

#MyGirlL: Counterproductive?!

My Mom sent me this picture earlier today when she took Leia for a walk:

I looked at this picture and I asked my Mom, “Really?! You just gave her a shot yesterday!!!”

My Mom just gave her her next dose for her allergy shots. I reminded by Mom that we are paying for those shots. She’s allergic to grass, but my Mom says that she loves it so much and we love HER so much! but isn’t administering these shots counterproductive if she’s laying in the grass on her walks?!

I don’t think she needs another shot until next week…

The Eve of ‘Go-Time’

My mind is full and I am not sleeping because this right now is the eve of ‘go-time’. This month’s ‘go-time’ just consists of one day. There is a two-fer on that one day though. I see Dr. Clark, my naturopath, at 3 o’clock and then at 5:30. We are getting our haircut (and I am getting my eyebrows waxed) at 5:30.

I have been playing the day’s plans over and over again in my mind so I have everything straight. I think that I have finally figured out the proper way to successfully complete go-time.’

March was exceptionally difficult for me and that was when we got my state ID. I had a really hard time that month! That’s when I decided to re-calibrate how I handle it these days. I had to segment my days. With all of my disease progression in these 22+ years, sadly, my brain does not work as it used to.

I’ve had to space out paying my bills after I receive my disability check and I I plan my appointments months in advance. I had this calendar year scheduled in April.

I am a nerd! I have no problem with that! And because I am not sleeping and I saw this video minutes after I woke up and I was trying to get focused on being awake. This story startled me, and when I showed my Mom, the second she saw sister Wilhelmina, she said, “She’s from the order of the sisters of St. Joseph.”

When she said that, all the stories, my Parents told me about their grade school antics became clearer to me. Both of my Parents went to the same grade school in Detroit. Saint Anne’s and they were completely taught by nuns. This is how they dressed, and the story is speaking to my heart!!!: