I have not watched football at all! This fact is quite startling for me considering that I was such a HUGE football fan! I would watch hours of pregame every single year and I never had a horse in the race! That is until last year! I have been a diehard Matthew Stafford fan since 2009 when he came to Detroit!
That being said, I’m grateful that he reached the mountaintop last year so I can get away with not being so invested in football this year as my disease is progressing.
Rihanna is doing the halftime show and I watched Tom Holland‘s lip-synch battle in preparation for the show! I think I will re-watch last year‘s Super Bowl (You KNOW that I have that recorded! ) to see if I can handle the fast movement…
So, I had a Speech Pathology appointment last Wednesday and we worked on tongue twisters. She gave me homework to find difficult tongue twisters and dictate them in a text to her. I found 13 of them and they were really good! I shared one with her on Wednesday after my appointment.
But then the snow came and my Mom made Leia’s track. I was happy to see how happy that makes my Mom but I told her that all of that precipitation that is outside in the form of snow is also inside my body! And that hurts terribly!!!
So, Thursday was kind of a rough day but I was happy to see my Mom so happy. I thought I would just have to re-calibrate myself for the winter to get used to how my body feels with snow on the ground. I went to sleep on Thursday night with the hope that Friday would be better!
My hopes were dashed the moment I opened my eyes. I thought I was going to re-calibrate and feel better but that was definitely NOT the case! Friday, I spent the day groaning because it hurt so badly!!! I couldn’t believe that I spent the entire day in pain as I was trying to drift off to sleep. I thought, it’s, “Worse-er,” and that thought made me laugh!
You know what I was thinking!!!
I have shared that memory of my first night at WMU so many times on my blog and that’s what I thought of last night as I was beginning to drift off to sleep in the early hours of this morning. I saw myself driving (back when I could still drive) down E. Pond Dr. on my way to Wendy’s to get something to eat (back when I could eat normal food)
I was trying to find a radio station but I did not know them in Kalamazoo so I hit the shuffle button on my radio and started to drive. It was just at the bend of the road with the Inter-mural courts on my right when I heard the opening bars of this song and Axl asking me if I knew where I was?:
This evening, well, actually this morning, when I was brushing my teeth to get ready for bed, I needed to open a new package of floss picks.
I have been flossing my teeth every morning and night since I turned 30 and my hygienist told me to do so!
I need to set the scene that caused me to get a punch in the face: my hand strength is steadily declining and I have a method to my madness. I buy the Scope Glide floss picks.
I purchase these picks from Target for 5% off but they only come in the 150 pack. That’s too much material for my hands to navigate through so I buy the 75 packages and my Mom just refills them and I change the package when I change the toothbrush head to my electric toothbrush.
And here comes the punch. Right between my eyes!: I folded over the serrated line to pull off the top to open the package of floss picks and I could not. I tried for a long time! I didn’t have enough strength! My Mom walked over with my toothbrush and I looked at her, in what I think it was a pitiful and desperate look but she took the package and pulled the tab off with ease.
I really had a little hard time last night after the AFC championship game was over. That’s when I would have ordered my Super Bowl shirt! That is a tradition that started once we moved into this house. I remember buying Sean a Ravens hat when they won after the game delay. That’s when we started watching sports together. I even let him stay up to watch the end of the game which was super late because of the power issue.
I started watching NFL football in 2009 when Sean started playing for the Dearborn Lions. That’s when I fell in love with Matthew Stafford! So, historically, I have not had a horse in the race as a Lions fan this deep into the post season. But then he was traded.
I was completely at a loss when that happened and Sean told me that I am a traitor because I became a Rams fan. My friend, Bert, told me that I had to stay true to my heart and so I did.
I have not watched any football this year. Only highlights on Twitter. I feel like a horrible fan but I think my health has dictated that I can’t do it anymore. I have been trying to hype myself up by saying that I will watch last year Super Bowl but I don’t think my eyes can’t handle it.
I was discussing this with my friend, Bert, yesterday and he understands where I’m coming from. He made me feel better with the statement of fact:
So, yesterday, I did NOT order a Super Bowl shirt because I am not even watching it but if I did, it would definitely be an Eagles shirt! I wore that shirt after they won the Super Bowl until there were holes in the armpits! I had to throw it away then!
I have been in a funk since talking with my nutritionist on January 11. I thought I would be better after I talk to my Speech Pathologist on January 25 but that is NOT the case!!!
I have been listening to my Gavin DeGraw playlist on loop since then. I have a discovered that when I am in a really big funk like I was and still pretty much STILL AM, I listen to Gavin DeGraw. That was the album I listen to most often when I first bought our first apartment. That was when I became a grown-up.
I have shared Gavin DeGraw songs so much on my blog! I was searching through my Apple Music playlists and I noticed that there were some duplicate playlists. I’m not sure how that happened but I deleted the duplicates. I came across a playlist that I didn’t know what was in it. It was titled, “Seanie” and I know that Sean does not call himself that so I clicked on it and I saw the two songs that were contained in that playlist! That’s why I named the playlist ‘Seanie’!!!
The first song on this playlist:
This song was my jam in high school! And because I had Sean two minutes after high school, I still had the CD in my room! I can remember from the earliest days of going to the grocery store with my infant in a car seat carrier! I have always pictured Sean and I dancing to the song at his wedding one day but as my disease has been progressing quite steadily, i’m not so sure.
The second and last song on the playlist:
This song was the first song that played in the car that I bought at Bill Wink Chevrolet dealership that closed not too long afterward. This song was playing as I drove down Ford Road to get back to our second apartment and I pulled into the carport just as this song ended.
Sean took Leia and my Moom to the vet to get a blood draw for Leia. They did this while I slept and she was given another dose of steroids. She is sleeping now. I can already tell her body is starting to not feel good!
When she’s on steroids, sometimes she will just stand next to my wheelchair frozen and I think that’s because she knows that I know what it feels like when your body does not feel good! She is standing by me looking for moral support and I want just rub her back and apologize because I know it hurts!
My mom says that she looks like a hyena because her skin is pink and we know that the steroids will take that and her itching away and next week, they will tell us what the blood draw findings were in terms of what her allergies are. I hope we can figure this out!!!
I thought about this song late last night. Well, actually, it was early this morning. Probably about 1 o’clock! I know that because I texted this video to Sean and asked him if he remembered this one because this song was playing in, The Fsult in Our Stars. As we were leaving the theater, I mentioned that I liked this song to Sean and he agreed that he liked it as well! I was still in a manual chair back then and was still driving:
I think that it is really strange how thoughts of these memories change so much over time. At least my perspective has…
A Facebook friend posted this and it made me laugh way too hard and I was back in my dorm at WMU because this song was my wall mate, Marissa’s favorite band:
I may as well post the song here right now because I am not sleeping…:
