Category: A Bit Of Randomness

I feel that I need to tell on myself. This is a confession of sorts. Last Sunday, my Mom was putting medicine on Leia in the evening. I was still using my shortbread cookie Chapstick. I thought it was getting close to the end and I want to see how far I had left to go until I was finished. I pushed it all the way up and saw that it was not very much, probably about an inch and a half. I knew I would have that done in no time but then, I tried to Unwind the Chapstick and it did not move! I saw that it was A little bit shorter than the cap. I thought I could just put the cap on it:

I was being impatient and I should have just I waited. So once I put the cap back on, it clicked but I felt the chopsticks smash into the top of the cap. I pulled it off and the whole top pulled off of the plunger and I just had Chapstick in the cap. It was a mess! So much so that I knew I couldn’t do anything so I just got irritated and threw it away! I tried to add a picture of my winter chapstick pack now that it is completed for the next few winters. I am using the vanilla bean Chapstick until the weather breaks. It’s something to look forward to. that AND my birthday!

Since getting Leia in August 20 20, I really don’t have a large role in her care. I do not take her for walks and I do not feed her. I just pay for her. And I’m OK with that because I have never had a daughter and so I get to buy her pink things! I have grown very fond of her and I wonder what she thinks of me but she does come to my aid all of the time as if she could do something. I just love her. When my Mom is giving her pieces of apple, she will be sitting at the table and she will cut some for herself and she will give Leia pieces as well. When my Mom is finished giving her pieces of apple, she will hold her hands up and say, “All done.”

I am writing about this because a few days ago, my brother, Dave, dropped milk off to my house before he went to work. He came in and he was dressed in his uniform so his gun, belt, and his vest were visible. Leia is afraid of black things. She freaks out when seeing black garbage bags at the edge of the street. So, my brother, Dave was dressed in black and he came into the house and walked toward me and as he leaned over to give me a kiss on the cheek, she barked. Twice. It wasn’t until after my brother left that my Mom told me that she was protecting me because my brother was all in black.

That made sense to me. My brother came over again yesterday because my Mom made pot pie so he stopped in before work to get a piece. When I heard him at the door, I made sure to make eye contact with Leia and put my hands up like my Mom does and I told her I was okay as my brother came into the house. I did that so that Leia would not bark at him and she did not. I like thinking about #MyGirlL as my protector.

Today marks 21 years and two months to the day from when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I saw this meme yesterday on Facebook and I figured I would share it here because that is what I am going to talk about:

When I first saw that meme, I thought that it did not look as painful as nerve pain actually is!!! I say that because that is what I am dealing with right now.

I remember probably two years after I was diagnosed and I was already on Canadian crutches that my brother asked me once “What hurts?” And I remember we were seated at our Parents’ table at their house and I looked at him and said, “Just my nerves.” And he kind of nodded and accepted my answer. I think I was drinking something because I took a drink, swallowed and added, “There are hundreds of nerves in every inch of my body!”

I like these following three memes better because they show how painful it actually is!:

Because, it’s painful. Almost unbearable. Don’t forget that I likened my pain to Silas from The DaVinci Code hurting himself:

I wrote about Silas on February 1st of this year. That’s when I first started experiencing excruciating nerve pain in my right thigh. It woke me up from a dead sleep and felt like a screwdriver being shoved into my thigh all the way to the bone!
But in the past month, it has changed from a barbed wire cutting into my skin to a tight strap around my thigh. Now, I have the blackest bruise you can have on the entirety of the outside of my thigh!

It’s the darkest bruise that hurts to the touch. My mom was adjusting my compression socks and she kind of pinched the outside of the sock to pull it up and it immediately resulted in tears springing to my eyes because it hurt so much!

Last night, I cried myself to sleep and I didn’t even know I was doing that until I had to flip my pillow over because it was wet. I was thinking about how long I will have to bear this pain. It seems like it will be a long time but I am hopeful for this at the precipice of MS Awareness Month:

Today is the first day of MY Birthday Month! I am so excited! Now, when I say that I’m just excited to have a birthday! I really don’t care about presents! I had an appointment with my speech pathologist today and she shares my Birthday Month AND she also believes in celebrating for a month when it comes to birthdays! I told her that great minds think a like!

There have already been a couple bummers for the beginning of “Birthday Month.” But I am still choosing to keep going regardless! Because March 1 is also the beginning of MS Awareness Month AND the fact that it is MY “Birthday Month” it all makes me feel EXTRA special because I am involved with both of those things! I was born in March and I have MS. Here are the two bombers so far this month (hopefully it doesn’t keep happening!):

I signed up for a candy party probably six months ago for my birthday. Well, the woman who runs that place sold her business so my Facebook party that was supposed to kick off today did not. But I messaged with her yesterday and she will set me up with the new owner and she can Set up a bitch a party for me this month in two weeks I think. Well, I had other Facebook parties already planned but we’ll figure it out. The second thing is that I ordered a shirt for MS Awareness Month but I can’t find it. It’s in a package probably under some clothes and I wanted to wear it today and change my profile pictures for both Twitter and Facebook but I can’t find it. GRRR!!!

This morning, my Mom asked me if I want “Birthday Pancakes” this year. And let me explain to you what “Birthday Pancakes” are. I asked my Mom and neither one of us really remember where it originated! I this is what I remember from “Birthday Pancakes” being a thing. I think it started when I was 16 because I was the only one still living in the house then and I will always choose pancakes over waffles anytime of the day! But I will choose French toast over pancakes but that’s a different story. So, I was in high school when it became a thing. All it was, is that my Mom would make me pancakes the morning of my birthday.

But now, rewind to March 12, 2003. We talked about the events of that morning today as well. Back on March 12, 2003, my Mom opened the door to our bedroom (Sean was alive and we were both living with my Parents back then and sharing a bedroom). I was still sleeping and I expected my Mom to sing happy birthday or to smell pancakes being made. But something very different was about to take place. She opened the door and I lifted my head off of the pillow and looked at her and she told me, “I’m taking your Dad to the hospital.”

I knew that it had to be something EXTREMELY serious and my Mom told me to just be with Sean and she will get a hold of me during the day. I remember still laying in my bed and telling my Mom, “You tell Dad that if he ‘kicks it’ on my birthday, I will be mad and kill him!” It WAS serious! my Dad started dialysis on my 21st birthday. So, I did not go out on my 21st birthday and instead went out twice for my 22nd birthday and that’s probably some thing I will recount in a blog post this month.

As for the birthday pancakes this year, I can’t chew food that early in the day so I won’t have “Birthday Pancakes” this year either.

It is NOT uncommon for me to choke while drinking my water and taking my vitamins in the morning! With me now having dysarthria, that happens a lot more. It happened this morning… twice!

The first time it happened really concerned me! I beeped the horn to my chair because I could not sit up straight enough as I was trying to adjust my chair. My Mom will come and press on my back and that opens my lungs to allow air in!

As I was choking the first time, I felt my Mom’s hands on my back and I could feel the air coming into my lungs and at the same time, I felt a little tongue lick my fingers! I smiled as a was breathing slowly. I sat back and my Mom gestured to Leia with her hands. I continued smiling and closed my eyes and added, “Precious. girl!”

She knows that I HATE when she licks my fingers because I know where that tongue has been but she likes the taste of my soap and she is just a precious girl!

So, I was thinking about this as I thought about the movie I was going to watch this evening. I guess I have always wanted to be a redheaded Irish girl because here are my pics thus far:

I love the greenery of Ireland and the castle that’s question!:

I love the cliffs of Mohr and this one! and there is another castle and more greenery!:

I have decided that I will watch The Quiet Man tonight. Not only is it in Ireland and it has a red head, John Wayne was my Dad‘s favorite!

I am excited to watch this tonight because it always reminds me of my Dad and I love the fact that John Wayne’s mom used to call him, ”Seanie” as well because as Sean‘s mom, I reserve that right as well!!! And there’s not gonna be movies about Irish red heads tomorrow because it’s Friday and it’s Lent. That calls for Jesus Christ Superstar.

My Mom took this picture of Leia yesterday night when they were on their walk. She was add attention because she saw two deer. Who is sent that picture to Sean and he said that she is at attention because she is sizing up the situation and she realizes that she cannot catch two deer! It reminded me of when we first got her and her toy gets stuck on the telephone line. She gave it all of her might do tried to jump for the toy but she was nowhere near it. But she still just as cute! I love that she’s so shiny in this picture!!!

I watched The Quiet Man today and I have seen this movie over 1 million times but I noticed something today! It made me laugh… kind of a lot!

What I noticed has to do with the boozer who is the matchmaker, Michaleen Oge Flynn. what I noticed is just after Sean Thorton (John Wayne) shakes hands with well Dannaher, he is welcomed to the town but all the other guys. But what I noticed when the bartender is pouring drinks for everyone, Michaleen takes three of the field glasses in a row that leaves John Wayne with nothing and that made me laugh probably more than it should have because I just noticed it! I’ve laughed at all of his comments before about Maureen O’Hara having a steady hand and the fact that,
“When [he]drinks water, [he] drinks water and when [he] drinks whiskey, [he] drinks whiskey.”
‘
hi love this movie for so many reasons but some thing I have thought about in the past three days is that I still REALLY wish I was born an Irish redhead! But, since that did not happen nor will it ever. I will just watch these movies a bunch of times in a row (especially during March which is the triple threat of being my Birthday Month, being MS Awareness Month, and being St. Patrick’s Day!)

My Mom and I have recently been talking about this because now it is Lent. I have reminded her that from 1996 to 2000, it was my job to hold the reservation at Red Lobster. Let me explain:

My family would go to Red Lobster during lent for my birthday for seafood because meat was not supposed to be eaten on Friday and we are Catholic. A couple things to note here: 1. Between the years 1996 to 2000, Lent was during my Birthday Month. I didn’t have a “Birthday Month” back then but I just want to say that it was a IRTHDAY dinner for ME. 2. Red Lobster does not accept reservations for large groups without someone waiting in the waiting area to hold the place.

Back then, I would have to make a reservation for 12 people by checking in at the hostess desk. Now, my immediate family is 22 people and my Dad is gone. Was the only one still in high school so I didn’t have a job to go to so that is how my Mom explained it to me. I’m pretty sure that my Mom dropped me off to wait at the restaurant my freshman year but in 1997, 1998, 1999, and 2000, I drove myself to wait.

Some thing that I want to point out here is that I do not like seafood at all! I would always order a clam chowder and fill up on shrimp and biscuits. When I was in high school, I always preferred to have my birthday dinner at Wendy’s. But, it was Lent so that was NOT an option! It took about an hour for them to get enough tables cleared to accommodate my party of 12. I sat there staring at the lobster tank for that entire hour!!:

My family members would start to arrive after I had been waiting by myself for about 45 minutes. I would tell them all the time that we all could eat at Wendy’s for about 20 bucks. But for me now, even with all of my complaining and my wait by myself for an hour, we made some really great family memories there!

The last time we went there as a family was when we went there with my Dad‘s friend at work after his death. Sean took me there for Mother’s Day when he was 16 and that hit a little differently.