Author: Jen Rios

Tough

Yesterday, I felt awful! It wasn’t even hot, but the rain was terrible! I told my Mom that it was ‘tough,’ because it totally was!

I was really trying to figure out how much longer I would have to handle this, but today, I think I got a glimmer of hope because when it was time for me to have my lunch, it was only 79° so I forced myself to eat food. What I eat now is completely easy to chew. But in the heat, it’s so hard to do that!

I told my Mom that when it is in the 80s, I will drink my lunch, but anything lower than that, I will eat food. It’s going to be a little chilly tonight so now we have gotten into the realm of heat at night and air in the day until it’s all heat all the time.

My Life is Sad.

My Mom always tells me that I like sad music and I just tell her that my life is sad. I did not know how sad it would be 23 years ago when I was diagnosed with MS. Which at this point, the is a mother b*tch!


I do wonder what this song is about but I like it. What can I say, I like sad mood sick because my life is sad!

Parachute

Because it is August now, I was listening to my Train Apple Music playlist, and I heard this song:

I have a very vivid memory of driving to work, and I was listening to this album for the first time, and this song came on just as I was making that very weird Isosceles triangle type turn off of Dix and onto Goldsmith to go to work.

This album came out in 2009 and I think I was still in our 2nd apartment so I thought I had a social life ahead of me. Well, that didn’t happen, but I love this song!!!

.

Something Spiritual

I saw that the New Zealand women’s rugby team won the gold medal today, and did the Haka. I had never witnessed women doing the Haka before. All I know is that I witnessed something spiritual today! I always cry when I watch people perform the Haka but these women are Olympic Gold Medalists now?!!!!

August 2024 Faves

So, it’s Trains turn. And I am sitting in the parking lot at Wendy’s, eating a single with cheese, no onions, no tomatoes, fries, and a Dr Pepper as I am staring at a tattoo shop. I vaguely remember thinking that I would get a tattoo there but I’m 42 and I don’t have any tattoos. This song was playing:

I first have to share this song because I am 12 years old every time I hear it but 42 year old Jen is different than 12 year-old Jenny and I no longer can sing along because it’s too many words in my mouth. 12-year-old Jenny did not have MS, oh, wait, maybe I did:

I prefer Train songs from the early 2000s. That’s when I found out that Pat Monahan has a harry chest when he was walking around shirtless. For the first time, I didn’t mind it! This is my favorite picture from seeing them live!:


NOT Pleasant but…

It was necessary for me to restart the three day cinnamon regiment the three times a day for three days and then I can go back to just the maintenance which is once a day.

It was tolerable. Not pleasant, but tolerable. It didn’t taste so much like the brown Mr. Sketch marker more like a mouthful of dirt. I had nine mouthfuls of dirt! On the 21st, I will send another sample to the lab and then I will see if I have to do this for a third time. My condition is chronic!

Every Three Years?

So, I have been thinking. It was so earth shattering to see nothing in that phoropter. I am going to search through my past love posts, but I’m pretty sure that in ‘21 my optometrist moved me to an eight.

After a day, that was too much and I went back down to a seven. The past two years have been fine with my seven contacts and I could see just fine. Well, my one letter in my right eye, and three letters in my left eye.I’m thinking it’s going to be every three years I need new contacts. My mom told me that someone she knows wears a -10.

I guess there really isn’t a way for me to gauge it with disease, progression and stuff but I’m not blind… yet… I still hear that doctor in my head, and I have been for the past 23 years but now it’s an issue.. 😒😒😒

“I’m Going Blind.”

So, I’m thinking it’s going to be a multiple post situation as I am trying to sort through my eye doctor visit and my feelings about it…

Sean came over after work on Thursday. I had talked to him on Wednesday on the phone and told him about my appointment. He came in and he gave me a big hug, and I hugged him right back! He even commented, something like, “Wow, mom, that’s a good hug” to which I responded in a whisper by his right shoulder, “I’m going blind.”

I have been thinking about this since last Wednesday. I was so startled when I put my face in the phoropter (that is the name of the funny machine you put your face into to check your eyes) and I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing! I have been going to the eye doctors since second grade, That’s when I first got glasses.

I was so startled at seeing nothing, and I heard that doctor (with the ugly glasses) telling me that I was going to go blind When she told me, I had MS. Dr. Harris changed my prescription and I put contacts in so I could see so much better with them. I still have a lot to think about with this…