Author: Jen Rios

Awakened by Random Cosmos at 4:34 am.

I am used to being awakened by  my MS pain in the middle of the night by now, even knee pain by now but tonight by some random cosmos at 4:34 this morning I was awakened by a combination of both. That, and I REALLY miss my Dad.  I have a playlist of all of the songs that remind me of him.  It starts with:

“El Rey”   Jose Alfredo Jimenez

I came across a shortened, translated version here.  The song TRULY IS my Dad even though he had a Queen in my mother but I STILL cry and cry…

I hit “shuffle” on the play list hoping to fall back to sleep with some cathartic tune… it was:

“Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own”  U2

So, I listened to it, cried, and was reminded of driving to work in the dark just after he died, listening to that song on loop, crying the whole way there, putting my sunglasses on in the dark before I went into the building because my eyes were red and my face splotchy.  Well, it’s after 5 now.  I just had to write this post and send it off into the cosmos because it’s cathartic.

Cathartic: providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis.
“crying is a cathartic release”

so yeah… maybe I can get some sleep now.  Happy Thanksgiving.

ALMOST Forgotten Tune #10

I heard this song the other day and was immediately taken back to the summer before my freshman year of college!

I guess it proves that I’m old now because something in me just doesn’t want an Eminem song on my blog even though I jammed to this album ALL THE TIME the summer before college.   It was shortly after that Eminem song got a lot of radio play that another one got popular; it’s th e song I AM going to put on my blog.   This song is sampled in the Eminem song  so that’s why I thought of it and I got this CD while I was away at college, a lifetime ago. I listened to it a lot as my musical taste mellowed a bit. I barely hear it on the radio now but when I do it always brings back the same memories!

“Thank you”  Dido

The Comparison

So, I just wrote a post about Mike Tirico having  eyes like my Dad.

 it took me a minute, but I found pictures of my Dad’s eyes.  These pictures are kind of old (I was only 17)  but it is my family at its BEST!

   My Dad really didn’t like taking pictures so  there aren’t a lot of them and he very rarely smiled in them.   We were at a wedding and I’m sensitive so I was crying. Don’t judge!

 I think there’s a resemblance! The resemblance is close enough for me to make me cry! This picture is  one of my favorite pictures even though my eyes are closed and my nose is red because I was crying  because it is just me and my Daddy!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Mike Tirico

This is the first year I have been able to stay up to watch Sunday Night Football, Monday Night Football, and Thursday Night Football.   I noticed this the first week of football and I wasn’t able to get a picture until the Lions played the Packers on Monday Night Football.   The Lions won.

Sean thinks it is crazy that I watch so much pregame football but when I saw Mike Tirico, I looked at his eyes,  gasped, and had to catch my breath.   He has eyes like my Dad!   Sean thought so too but  that didn’t matter because I think he does! I don’t really listen to what he is saying because I can’t stop staring at his eyes! Most of the time  my eyes well up and I whimper a little trying to hold back the tears.

I’ve been missing my Dad SO MUCH lately that I find it kind of comforting to stare at Mike Tirico.   Tonight, for example is the Eagles versus the Dallas Cowboys and I’m not a big fan of either team but I’m watching the entire pregame broadcast so I can see Mike Tirico.  But let’s be honest, I’m going to watch the game because football is football and I’m in a good mood because the Lions won earlier today!

ALMOST Forgotten Tune #9

I heard this song my last time at ATI. This is the song that made me buy the new Matchbox 20 CD back when one used to buy CDs.  This CD, “Mad Season” was the soundtrack of the summer before I went away to  WMU.   This was the summer I worked at 7-Eleven.   I just want to make it crystal clear that GOING to 7-Eleven with your friends to get Slurpees it’s a lot different from WORKING at 7-Eleven. The morning shift.

This was where I brewed 40 pots of coffee very early in the morning,  spent a lot of the day stocking the cooler where I wore my winter coat even though it was the middle of summer, where I cleaned up after kids who came in with their friends to get Slurpees, and  where I will never forget the  unforgettable smell of bottle return. GROSS!

This song reminds me of that summer after high school before college.  This was the first  and only song I heard off of that album before I bought it. There are such gems on it!  I don’t actively seek out songs from that album because it seems like a lifetime ago but hearing it made me smile.

“Bent”  Matchbox 20

Dilly! Dilly!

This commercial constantly plays on NFL Network so I had heard it many times before Sean was home one time when it was on. Before they said it, I said, “Dilly! Dilly!”  It’s catchy! Sean thought so too. And then I saw this commercial last night for Sunday Night Football.    Apparently, I am not the only one amused by this! I don’t even drink but I thought it was funny!

***CLICK PICTURE TO SEE MODIFIDED COMMERCIAL***

 

My “Checking Pen”

Friday, I had my return appointment with Dr. Moore to discuss my knee.   My Mom came by and when she came in to get me, she told me it was cold outside so she went into my front closet to get my coat. I haven’t left my house much nor have I worn my coat since it’s stopped being cold last school year. I put my coat on (with my Mom’s help) and noticed that there was something in the left breast pocket of my Northface,

I ran my fingers over the pocket and realized what it was. I kind of gasped a little bit as my mom pulled me backward in my chair out of my house. It wasn’t until I was halfway  to Dr. Moore’s office that I unzipped the pocket and pulled out what was in it. Yep!  It was my “checking pen.”

As my disease has progressed,  I have noticed that the type of pen you write with, makes a difference. I really liked using this pen! It glided really well  on the paper and it was purple! I used this pen to check papers from my kids and to write anything! I would use the pen until all of the ink ran out! I constantly would go to Staples to get new pens and I would request these specific pens on my Secret Santa list at work.

I think it was the last time I bought pens last year that I noticed this on the package:

No wonder I like it! I’m a lefty, therefore it’s great! I haven’t written with these pens since just before my surgery. It kind of made me sad because  I always have referred to them as my “checking pans.”   I don’t check papers anymore. This fact makes me sad. I put the pan back into the packet and zipped it up as we pulled into Dr. Moore’s office parking lot which is also Dr. Frush’s office.   I kind of knew what he was going to say because my knee still hurts.  Looks like it probably will be another “small incision” and the “tendon scrape.” My heart kind of hurt at holding my “checking pen” again and I was having a little bit of difficulty shaking that feeling off until it was time to discuss my knee.

Orthopedists = Good Looking

I’ve had three different orthopedists work on my right knee. The first surgeon reconstructed my ACL when I was 17, Dr. Anderson. The second one, Dr. Frush, repaired my meniscus.   Dr. Moore is a non-surgical sports medicine doctor and he is working on my tendinitis. I remember my brother, Jimmy, one time told me when he had his surgeries with his legs that someone told him that orthopedists is the “popular kids” or something like that. This person compared the doctors to football players and the nurses to cheerleaders. Everyone’s good-looking.

I completely concur with this statement. Orthopedists = Good Looking.   At least, my dealings with them. I first met Dr. Anderson when I was 17 when I tore my ACL. I completely had a huge crush on him!

I remember tweeting this picture a while back, before I tore my me meniscus  and posed the question that if Dr. Anderson did my knee surgery and he is touching Matthew Stafford, does that mean by extension, I am touching Matthew Stafford? Because I have a big crush on him too! Dr. Anderson has aged well by the way.

The second  orthopedist I met with was Dr. Frush  and he also goes along with what my brother said about orthopedists being good-looking:

Dr. Moore fits in with this statement as well:

I remember when Sean broke his arm  when he was eight and we had an appointment with an orthopedist, ( I don’t remember his name, otherwise I would completely have put a picture of him in here as well)  because I remember him being shockingly good-looking! I told my friend later that I was glad that I had just got my eyebrows waxed. 😂😂😂 But it IS completely true, all orthopedists are good-looking!

11.10.17 “You’re So Cute with Your MS.”

Yesterday, I had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Moore. This was the first time I got out of my house all week and when my Mom came to get me she told me that it was cold outside so I should put my coat on.  I discovered something in my pocket from last winter that gave me pause and made me a bit sad.  I probably will write about this later.

Anyway, as we waited for Dr. Moore to come back after the nurse took my blood pressure, my mom unsnapped my pants but I kept my compression stocking on  and pulled up. Dr. Moore came in and I asked him how Halloween went because he was going with his kids (3 and 5) and his wife as Star Wars characters. He was going to be Chewbacca because he is so tall compared to his kids, comparative to anyone really!   There was this piece of paper that gave background information about Dr. Moore and I took this picture  because this is what he looks like:

I didn’t see a piece of paper with Dr. Frush’s information and I have never showed you guys what Dr. Frush  looks like and I don’t want to leave him out so here he is:

These are the two doctors working on my knee to make it better.

Dr. Moore left the room to get his phone to show us some pictures which was really cool! When he got back in, he asked me how my knee felt. I told  him that it still hurts and it only felt better for a little while after I got the Cortisone shot at my last appointment. It started hurting again before I got home. He said that  Dearborn from West Bloomfield was not that far for it to start hurting again. He asked me if I used any topical solution to help with the pain.

I looked at my mom and said, “Oh yeah,  I have some of that!”   Dr. Moore asked who prescribed it and I told him that he did. He smiled and was pleased with himself that he already had done that. I looked at my mom and she looked at me and asked, “Why didn’t you remember?!”   My reply was simple, I told her, ” I have MS, I don’t remember anything!”

My mom and I started to laugh and I looked at Dr. Moore as he said to me something that I have never heard before, “You’re  so cute with your MS! I have never seen anyone like this before.” I kind of chuckled and shook my head, I disagreed with him and told him that he doesn’t know what’s going on in my head. It’s a lot of swearing and cursing the disease.

It reminded me of shopping with my mom a few years ago during Christmas time. We were at Target and started to bicker about something  and my mom looked at the lady next to her and said, “Well,  I HAVE to be nice to her, she’s in wheelchair.”  The woman looked mortified as my mom and I laughed hysterically!   I looked at Dr. Moore, smiled, and asked him, “What else am I going to do?”

He said that he thinks the best thing we can do is to have the Tenex procedure.  The old tendon scrape.   I knew this was going to be the next step to try to get rid of this pain in my knee. It’s scheduled for December 7th.   I no longer have ATI so I don’t think I’m going to leave my house until then but it’s colder outside so it will be miserable anyway if I do leave.  I’m having the procedure in Commerce where I had my surgery.

I asked him if I could take video of the procedure and he said I could. I also asked him if I could keep the stuff he scoops off of my tendon but he said there’s not going to be much. I wonder if he’s going to make a sound effect  as he scrapes it?  I’m pretty sure I will in my head regardless if he does or not. I’m trying to figure out if it will be the scary movie stabbing sound or a funny, “Boop” or a,  “SCRRRAAAPE.”  I’m going to have to ask him.

I will find out all the answers to these questions on December 7th.  It’s crazy that it’s been over a year since I was injured and it still hurts so badly! So much so, that they need to scrape my tendon. Gross!  I have a return appointment after the procedure on December 22nd  at his and Dr. Frush’s office in West Bloomfield. Hopefully everything is resolved so then I can get back to Barwis in 2018!

“I Believe In You”

***CLICK THE RED “this commercial” TO VIEW 3 DIFFERENT COMMERCIALS***

(it’s in the second commercial that you will understand why the title of this post is what it is.   I’m going to think of that every time I put this chapstick on now!) 😄😄😄

I saw my first Burt’s bees commercial today.  I was catching up on my shows today (AFTER Good Morning Football OF COURSE!) OnDemand and was not able to skip the commercials so I really wasn’t paying attention until I heard that it was a Burt’s Bees commercial.  I had never seen one before but saw the display at Target or something a few years back and  thought  I’d try it out because it was all-natural. That is the  only kind of chapstick I use now!

I changed from the Peppermint to  Pomegranate for a while and then to Açai Berry when I started working out at Barwis.  I miss Barwis Methods so much that it hurts! Almost as much as my knee.   My açai berry chapstick ran out and because I was not going to Barwis immediately after my knee was injured, I could not bring myself to wear it. The smell reminded me so much of being at Barwis that I changed over  two Pink Grapefruit when I was at ATI. I immediately got on the YouTube app on my phone to find the commercial  after I saw it so I could post it on my blog.   I didn’t find it but I saw this commercial. 

I continued viewing the commercials, then I saw this commercial, its kinda long but I dug it!   I don’t leave my house very much since my surgery and now, I am not going to ATI anymore until my appointment with Dr. Moore. Now that the weather has gotten colder, I put my chapstick in my coat pocket with my gum (Blue 5 OF COURSE! Thanks Adam!) so I don’t lose or forget them. I would always wear chapstick every day and would reapply often, but now I don’t so much.

Watching multiple commercials about Burt’s Bees, made me kind of sad.   I decided to stop watching them so lastly, I saw this commercial  and I thought it was pretty informative! You learn something new every day! I can’t wait until I am able to wear Açai Berry chapstick again  because that would mean that I am back at Barwis FINALLY  and my knee no longer hurts! Wishful thinking!