Author: Jen Rios

I Pillaged today like I do every Saturday but time between pillaging seems to be getting shorter.

I fill my pill box so I can take my pills three times a day. But I can’t believe that it’s already time to do it again!

At this point, I take 20 pills a day. Each time I am filling my pill box, I think back to the time where I had that evaluation to prove that I’m disabled. I had no idea why they were having me stick those quarters on that little tissue but they did. It seems like that’s what I do when I feel my pill box.

I stacked those quarters slowly at that appointment, and likewise, I fill my pillbox, just as slowly. But there are some new developments, Just like I no longer can take the plastic off of a box of gum, I cannot the plastic off of the pill bottle when I first open it. My Mom does that for me now. At this point I can still get the foil off by just shoving my index finger into the bottle so then I can peel the foil soff slowly.

So yesterday, I should have had my Mom look at my mouth earlier! I just thought that I would have to deal with this new development. It kind of hurt! But late last night, before we went to bed, my Mom looked in my mouth:

Seriously?!.. Seriously? I remember that would get canker sores when I was in middle school and had braces but I am an adult now! What gives?!

I googled what causes canker sores, and this is what I found:

I thought about it and I got my mouthguard from my dentist and I’ve been wearing it for over a decade so I know it fits properly! I do bite the insides of my cheeks though… but then I read a little bit further:

I read that and it all made sense to me! I have had a lag in my immune system for at least 23 years but probably before that as well. As for my diet, it is so restricted at this point that I don’t eat anything that could cause irritations.

I really can’t believe this because I am somewhat OCD about my dental hygiene! I learned at the cleaning, just after I turned 30 that I needed to floss my teeth daily. I think it was October 2022 where I started using an electric toothbrush because using a manual toothbrush, my gums were bleeding.

I had a virtual appointment today with my PCP and I told her about my canker sore and she ordered Magic Mouth (a medicated rinse) for me and it’s waiting at my pharmacy right now. My Mom drove to the 24 hour Walgreens to get me Ambesol last night. She took our ferocious dog with her last night for protection! My Mom laughs at that, but I tell her that if it came down to it, Leia would be more than ferocious to protect my Mom!!!

This morning, the right side of my mouth hurt. I have always bot the inside of my mouth on both sides. I think that’s a trait that I got from older relatives. I also have been wearing a mouthguard at night I think since 2011.

I remember that was back before I went to Barwis and I was seeing Parker (my MRT [Muscle release technique therapist]) every Monday. I came into his room and I told him that I have never been punched in the face, but I’m pretty sure this is how it feels! I remember that in a few days that I got fitted for a mouthguard at my dentist office.

I have been wearing a mouthguard to sleep since then, but this morning, the right side of my mouth really hurt and I showed my Mom. She offered to take a picture, but I shook my head. I really don’t like these new developments and I definitely DO NOT want to see them! I’ve been wearing a mouthguard for a really long time, so I don’t know why I would wake up and my mouth hurt today?!

We get our teeth cleaned next month and I will ask the dentist about it.

I think Sean may have been in 11th or 12th grade in high school and I think we had both just gotten off the phone we had met in the small hallway between his room and the bathroom. I’m not sure if I was saying something in my conversation but Sean told me that it was a ‘good move’ for me to get specific ornaments every year.

I was shocked to hear that from my 17-year-old son! I looked at him and I said that I knew what I was doing, but I didn’t know that he noticed what I was doing.

But here is the newest development and #MSsucksSoBADLY!!!

My Mom took this picture today, January 10:

That’s how far I got with my Christmas tree decorating this year! I didn’t even put my star on and I still can’t find my tree skirt!

I can no longer Christmas tree decorate anymore. Even when I bought my tree in 2005, I was on Canadian crutches, so my Mom helped me tremendously in our first apartment! She is an old girl, but I love how good my tree STILL looks!

I told my Mom that I missed my Christmas ornaments and we were going to put some on the tree this year but we never got around to it. Those two boxes hold all of my very specific and special ornaments. Leia snatched my Mom’s piece of pizza off of the table and she did it so quickly that it made me a little bit nervous that she was going to to get some of my ornaments. and I’ve said from the get-go that if she does that, I will have to hate her, and I really don’t want to do that!

This was the last time I put ornaments on my tree, but I didn’t even put the star on that year, I think that Sean was a Senior here because we were dressed up because we went to the Dearborn Inn for dinner:

Even without the star, my tree looks so much better in this picture than it does right now, but my Mom is going to put it away probably tomorrow. as for the tree decorating because Leia is getting older, maybe next year…

I told my Mom that I like to have my Christmas tree up the day after Thanksgiving and then to have it taken down the Monday after the Epiphany. It was last Sunday. Maybe next year…

100% of my life is routine now. I fully accept that but today, it kind of hurt a little bit for me to realize that fact.

Let me ‘splain ya,

Past pictures that I have taken on my phone will show up randomly and I saw this picture today:

This was from my Barwis days. We were laughing and I. could NOT smile that big that right now if I tried! This picture is probably a decade old. I remember that I thought that Adam’s name was. “Phil” because I thought I heard Jesse call him that. Well, it’s not, but I called him that anyway the ENTIRE time he was my trainer! I used to write about my time at Barwis and I would put it on Twitter with the hashtag, #JenAndPhil I think.

Back then, I used to grow my nails out until one broke, and then I would cut them all and let them grow out again. Sean reminded me probably about a year and a half ago about the fact that I used to pop my contacts out of my eyes with my nails. That was in our second apartment. I remember that when I heard him say that; it’s sad that it used to be like that because it’s not like that now AT ALL!!!

My Mom cuts my nails every other Monday now because they need to be cut to the nub so I can get my contacts into and out of my eyes. It’s more difficult to control my hands now but I still wear my contacts so I can see even with my glasses with my prism over my right eye.

Back in my Barwis days, Adam called my nails, “Claw Nails”:

But now, this length is what constitutes a nail cutting:

So, I think that I have just posted this in memoriam of my, “Claw Nails” because that’s no longer going to be a thing anymore. I wanted to chronicle that because I used to love washing my hair with my long fingernails and Sean told me that I had the best nails to scratch his back, but I was terrible at it. I think I have been steadily losing hand control since I started writing really, really big. I used to tell my students that I write ‘obscenely large.’

Retrospectively, I was writing so large, because I was losing control of my hand muscles. Now, I cannot write anymore at all! I appreciate that I can write all of my blog posts using my phone and voice-to-text capabilities. 😒😒😒…