Author: Jen Rios

“HUG DAY!!!” 😍😍😍

Sean spent the first 31 days of his life in the NICU after being born 8 weeks prematurely. When discussing this fact with people, I tell them that, that “Was the longest month of my life!” And I wholeheartedly believed that! That is, until Covid hit.

First, let me explain that leaving the hospital WITHOUT your baby is extremely difficult!!! But the difficulty was lessened a little bit because we could hold Sean for 20 minutes a day. He could not afford to be out of his incubator for longer than that. The only exception was if we (Sean and I) “Kangaroo Kare[d].”

A nurse in the NICU unit explained to to me the major benefits of doing this. She told me to wear a button down shirt to come see him at the hospital. All I had to do was tell them that I wanted to “Kangaroo Kare” with my baby and they would set up the screens to allow me privacy another nurse would get Sean.

I would lay back in the recliner as she put him on my chest in nothing but a diaper. The benefits are the skin to skin contact that I had with my baby. Moments after the nurse placed him on my chest, all of the numbers on the monitor completely stabilized. She told me that it was really good for the baby and me. I could do it as long as I wanted. I can still remember the feel of his little baby hair on my jaw as I felt all of his ribs under my left hand as I would fall asleep.

It has been just over one year since of quarantine in our house. Sean went back to work, I believe it was just before Mother’s Day of last year. I didn’t get to hug him last year and I never thought I would go long periods without hugging Sean ever again in my life!

As the pandemic got worse, Sean wouldn’t even come into our house in hopes of protecting me from this terrible virus. Last summer, we could talk with him sitting on my porch:

I was unable to attend any of his abridged graduation and instead, he came by the house:

This fact was extremely difficult for me having had put him through 12 years of Catholic education. But my Mom told me that there will be many more milestones and celebrations in Sean‘s life that I will be able to be a part of.

As the pandemic continued to rage on, the vaccines came onto the scene and I thought that when it was my turn, I could hug him again. I was fully vaccinated on April 1, 2021. My Mom was fully vaccinated on April 14, 2021. I remember sitting in my house on March 18, when I received my vaccine, and crying because I didn’t need to be afraid of dying anymore.

Sean received his second dose of the vaccine on May 10. So, this morning, he open the door to our house and commented, “ look at us! All maskless and stuff!“. And then this happened:

But before we could take this picture he wouldn’t stop making a face until my mom took a picture of this silliness:

Man, I love that kid!

Okay, So, Let me ‘Splain Ya!”

So, last Wednesday, I wrote a post about three random songs that showed up in my YouTube feed. They were songs that used to break my heart when I was young and dramatic! But, I didn’t cry and that made me happy that perhaps, Big Brother May have lost a step because they didn’t make me cry! Maybe I am on the road to healing! I (TOTALLY don’t see that happening anytime soon especially since I can’t control my emotions anymore!)

So, let me ‘splain ya:

So, my brother read that post and commented;

I have since decided that the 90s was the BEST musical decade! At least for me, I was young, without responsibilities, and was still able bodied! I looked at the playlists and I saw this one popped up in it:

That song is woven into The fabric of Mike youth and for so many reasons! I explained in the blog post I shared last Wednesday hell my brother, Jimmy, told me about a week before my cousins’s quince that his friend and he were going to perform a song that was sung by a female so I had to sing it. He had called me when I had just gotten home from class and I drove over to his house and we jammed. Our comments continued on that blog post:

Since this conversation had taken place, (and Luis lives in Mexico) I searched my blog to find the post where I had written about this song. I couldn’t really remember what I wrote. I searched through 35 pages on my phone in my, “Tines” tab to find it!

Re-posting and subsequently reading what I had written, I DID have a killer dress on (that I no longer can wear because having MS, weight fluctuates a lot and the dress was three sizes too big for me about seven years ago. I don’t know where it is now. Probably in my basement. It has great memories attached to it!

I wrote about holding on to the mic stand as I sang to study me. Retrospectively thinking about this, it was beginning of me completely losing control over my muscles. That kind of makes me sad but I appreciate having chronicles all of these things in my blog so I can go back and think about that specific day. I’m pretty sure I saw family members recording it so, it’s a new one has it, that would be really cool to see!

Having to tell Luis that I am, “Out” in terms of getting the band back together greatly saddens me! I knew it was that I should not have challenged Big Brother but since I did, he got me! Since re-posting this blog post, I have listened to this song multiple times and I have cried!

Hair

The day before yesterday, my Mom asked me if I was going to comb my hair that day and that made me laugh a whole lot! Her question made me laugh at first because she used to ask me that question when Sean was young. She asked me that same question the summer when we first moved into our first apartment.

When Sean was young, I would bathe him at night. I would comb his hair and then he would go to sleep. When he would wake up, his hair was crazy!!! I used to go to my Parent’s house on Saturday mornings for breakfast. My Dad wanted to see Sean because we were no longer living there. When we would get there, my Mom would ask me, “Did you comb this boy’s hair this morning?!

I would laugh and say, “I did not, because it looks so cute!” She would comb his hair before we ate breakfast at her house. I had Sean‘s hair cut short when he was four and began preschool.

So when she asked me this, I laughed because it has been about 16 years since she has asked me that regarding Sean but she has never asked Me that as an adult! But let me explain, back in the day, when I was still working, I would wake up at 4:30 every morning to get ready for work by getting in the shower first thing. I have not been in the habit of combing my hair before I take a shower.

But now, my hair only gets washed every other day. I am not in the habit of combing it on the off days. Today is an “Off” day as it was a couple days ago. When she asked me that on Wednesday, I combed my hair before I ate lunch. Today, I combed my hair after I washed my face.

With the stay at home orders and the pandemic, I grew my hair out and I was most uncomfortable while it grew! I would pull my hair into a knot right after getting out of bed because I couldn’t stand the hair on my neck! Now that I have cut my hair, it’s not a problem to have hair on my neck. As a result, I’m just not in the habit of coming my hair on the days that I do not wash it.

On the days I have to blow dry my hair and before I blow dry my hair, I comb it while it’s wet. So, I haven’t put much thought into combing my hair in years . But now, that it is short again it seems that I have to seriously think about that and do it!

#MyGirlL: From a, “Chunk” to. “Fit”

Leia had her return x-ray yesterday. This is how she looked when she got home from her appointment:

I just

Leia was worn out from the heat! She didn’t even make it to her bed! My Mom was told that her heart and lungs look great! The doctor called her, “Fit” opposed to being a, “Chunk.” I hate to put her on, “Front Street” and one, she lost 2 pounds! I told my Mom that I think she gained the weight because she was not walking as much in the winter. The doctor even said that the third treatment for heartworm may not be necessary! I am so pleased at hearing that because it is expensive so NOT having to do the third step sounds good to me!

I guess we caught it early and my Mom and I have been praying to Saint Francis for help! (We’re Catholic)

Glutton for Punishment?

So, I saw my latest Facebook videos that are popping them and I felt okay with it. But last night, my eyes were hurting so I took my contacts out and while my mom was walking Leia, I am put my James Blunt playlist on shuffle. I wondered if I was a glutton for punishment:

After a while, I heard this song:

I texted that to Sean and he responded with this:

If I recall correctly, it was summertime and I listened to that song A LOT!!! At that point in my life, I was coping by eating 10 packs of Tim Bits! Sean was young and he just accompanied me to Tim Horton’s. It was not far from our apartment complex. I don’t think he knows to this day how broken I was but I like that we can laugh about it now because we made a memory!

This is the lyric that broke my heart:

Back in the day, this song tore me up but now, I just remember going to Tim Horton’s the with my little boy! Donuts are definitely my weakness!!! Sean cannot hear this song without making a joke:

Nice Try

Big Brother has been trying to get me by posting random songs in my Facebook feed but time has passed and I’m not falling for it. I don’t want to tease him because I know that he is powerful but there were a few songs that showed up and a long time ago, they would have broken me but I’m okay. So, Nice try? I guess getting older has its perks?

I was such a dramatic teenager!!!

NOT Proud

I saw a Tweet today that did not make me feel at ease:

I want to say that I became a diehard Lions fan in 2009 when Sean began playing football for the Dearborn Lions when he was seven years old. I started watching professional football, Lions football, when I couldn’t really understand what was going on while I watched Sean’s young team. It was a lot of pushing. In high school, I was a football fan but over the years I lost my knowledge a little bit. That’s why I decided to watch professionals play the game to re-introduce me to football and in the process, I fell in love with Matthew Stafford! I used to tell Sean that I would break all of my dating, “Rules” in order to date Matthew Stafford, before he got married, though he is six years younger than me!

I didn’t really watch football last season because my Mom is living with me and she does not enjoy it. However, last week when my Mom was taking Leia for a walk, I watch the first hour of the schedule release on the NFL network. I could not get over how white Steve Mariucci’s hair has gotten!!! But then Matthew Stafford was on! I texted my friend this:

His text back to me really got me thinking! I live right down the street from the Lions practice field! I have a signed Matthew Stafford jersey, that I received when I went to practice as a VIP that my Mom arranged. She also got Sean to get a signed football from Calvin Johnson!

I always have said how much I love Martha Ford’s sunglasses that she constantly wears and they are similar to mine which makes me think of Bono.


I have tons of Lions shirts and sweatshirts because I was outfitted when Sean played for the Lions. But now with all of the changes in the roster, I just don’t know. Did I find my team? How possible is it for me to be a real Rams fan when I live in Michigan?! I responded to my friend with this text:

When my Mom came back with Leia, I change the channel. I really don’t know what I am going to do this coming season but one thing I know is that I LOVE Matthew Stafford!

Happy Feet

I am not ashamed to say that a couple nights ago, my Mom and I watched Happy Feet. Happy Feet was the very
first movie I took Sean to see at a movie theater. My Mom and I took him. I texted him right after we were done watching it:

He texted me back with this:

I laughed when I read that because I clearly remember him being scared by the sea lion trying to eat Mumble. I was glad that I had the forethought to put his cup into the cupholder of my seat. He had his little kid’s tray of popcorn on his lap that went flying when he got scared by the sea lion! So many years later, we still laugh at it! Man, I love that kid!

Verbatim

On Wednesday night, I watched a movie of my Mom‘s choosing. She wanted to watch Sully so we watched it on Peacock or something. All I know is that there were commercials in it. My Mom HATES commercials! But, during the movie, pretty much the same commercials kept playing. I constantly got to see the iPhone 12 commercial:

I think this is great marketing for this product! It REALLY stinks that I just got my iPhone 11 in purple after rackin’ my iPhone 7s for a long time!

It may not look as cool but it is THE original! But watching that movie and seeing this commercial about six times, made me think about Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!!! So Wednesday night, I started thinking about Gene Wilder and I couldn’t remember how he died. I saw this article on my YouTube feed and I shared it on Facebook;

He died of Alzheimer’s and the article was very touching! Seeing that commercial so many times and hearing the Candyman song, it totally got me thinking about the fact that I haven’t seen that movie in a super long time! So of course, I watched it on Thursday! Friday! And Saturday!

My cousinT, Shannon, and I watched that in my aunt’s basement WAY TOO many times when we were WAY TOO old to watch it! We were in high school and we would act like Verruca Salt and arrange the pillows on the floor to kick around as we sang along with the TV! Watching this movie as a grown adult, I never realized how crazy Willy Wonka is! It’s quite amusing! I pretty much know this movie verbatim now!

Perspective

I saw this meme a few days ago and I think it’s really sad that it has become so true in my life:

I used to wake up at 4:30 in the morning every weekday and take a shower each one of those days before I got ready for work. Fast forward a little over 20 years and now, my Mom has to wash my hair for me because I can’t keep my arms over my head for that long.

And since I have to have someone else wash my hair, I only wash it every other day. Sometimes, every third day if I am not feeling well enough. I think it’s crazy but this whole hygiene thing is now something I have to think about and weigh my strength and pain level and then to make the decision. For someone who used to shower every single day, The fact that I even have to think about this trade off really stinks and the fact that this is my life now.

So, I may have greasy hair but I also did this today:

I have gone through six or seven tubes of chapstick since the country shut down last year. I managed to go through all of my winter chapstick flavors and now I am ready for Summer with my summer chapsticks:

So, I may have dirty hair but my lips are soft! That has also become a thing now, I put chapstick on my lips all day because they feel dry and hurt. It’s all about perspective and I am rich with chapstick!