I thought of this song last night when I was blow drying my hair. This was a song I used to love to sing along with the radio! I can remember with longing filling my lungs with air and belting out the bridge. That seems like a lifetime ago. My singing ability.
My hair is longer than Robyn’s is but I wonder if that cut is in my future because shorter hair is better (easier) with having MS. If I opted for that haircut, I would have to be singing that song in my head constantly!!!:
Apparently, there is a face that accompanies my pain. I have noticed in the past week that when my Mom is leaving my bedroom where the laundry is and walk into the kitchen; she passes me and I will glance at her and I see her wince at the faces I make. She will say things like, “I’m sorry, Jenny” Or sometimes she will stop and kiss the side of my head.
Tonight, when I was going to bed, my Mom went to get my mouthguard from the kitchen (who would have thought that I am a teeth grinder?!) and I felt myself making a face. This hurts! 20 years of not feeling my feet and now this response that my feet are having to the trauma of my pressure sores is too much!
We are making phone calls to the Michigan department of health and human services which I am not looking forward to. But it’s a necessary evil in this before I gear up for the ‘two fer’ this month. Haircut and MRI.
I don’t read anything written about MS online! I haven’t for almost 20 years because it is all depressing!
With the progression of my disease, I’m not sure why I read this entire article but I did and I shared it on both Facebook and Twitter:
After reading this article, it was all ‘old hat’ to me! I was thinking that I could not be surprised anymore. Then I googled something else that has been going on and it wasn’t good and I was fully reminded why I DON’T read MS articles!!!:
I then read the abstract of an article and I’m out! It’s not like I can be ‘out’ at all because it is coming but I just don’t want to read about it!:
My ‘two fer’ this month is a haircut and then an MRI. Then I will be in contact with my neurologist to discuss all of this.
My Mom changed the dressings on my feet today and Sonya will come on Monday. I woke up in this morning with my feet in pain again. My right foot pressure sore has closed finally but it is extremely tender new skin. It hurts just as much as my right foot was still has a hole in it!
Today marked four months since I saw a doctor regarding my feet. I can’t believe there is still a hole in one of my feet! I am frustrated, I am in So much pain, I am just…
Today I have come to a number of realizations regarding the progression of my disease and I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I am just quiet.
I saw the end of a news story a couple days ago that talked about the pet supply shortage. This interested me because I had ordered Leia. This story made sense because I am so used to just receiving it the next day but it was taking a long time! I ordered the food on Saturday and we did not receive it until Wednesday.
She is on prescription food and we had to combine our money to get her food this month. The end of the story said that local supply houses are not carrying enough supplies so they need to be brought in from other warehouses.
My Mon was extremely concerned that, ”Leia is going to starve to death!” because she had just finished her food but I reminded my mom that Leia has had a 12 hour fast before and she was just fine!
I am so happy that her food arrived on Wednesday so she did not starve!
I heard rain on my roof while I was sleeping but when I woke up, it was not raining. My body definitely feels the barometric pressure shift and I realize that today will be a battle.
I have figured out my strategy by placing my hands on my hips and closing my eyes. It’s while I am in my power stance that I am fighting off the internal invaders and with my eyes closed, I can concentrate better at least that is what I tell myself. I will explain better when I am not actively fighting which is what I am doing right now!!!
This is the latest game I have been playing on my phone. It reminds me of playing Memory with my cousin, Melissa. It actually helps me with my hand-eye coordination so it makes it easier to put my contacts in. I think my only saving grace is having had them for 28 years so a lot of it is muscle memory at this point, I think.
I have to get three of a kind and put it in the boxes at the bottom. I have been playing for a while and I am on level 150 but I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to win the level but it doesn’t matter because that’s not the point of it anyway for me.
The Apple Music playlist I was listening to finished so a different song started playing and just like that, I was a freshman in college and back at Western!!!
I thought of an economics class I took in college today. I had to take one economics class as a pre-rec for my bachelors degree. I was thinking about this because I took intro to Economics because it satisfied my requirements. I needed one math class so I took that because it was offered in the summer and that’s how I operated when I was a college student.
I was pregnant before I was even accepted to UofM-Dearborn so my college experience then was to work Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and take classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I took full loads for every single semester and I went extra full-time in the summer! I had to finish college and get our own place (Sean and I) before Sean got too old!
I was thinking about this economics class because I remembered my professor. I even remembered his name! Twomey. So economics is not my bag, it’s too math-y for me! But I needed those three credits so I took it in the summer. I remember he was probably mid 50s and I liked how he explained things.
We were talking about a huge amount of money for something for being fined or it was thousands of dollars, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars and I remember he looked at the kid sitting in the front desk and kind of nonchalantly said, “That’s more money than you and me have in our pockets together!”
I think that I was outgoing and gregarious at WMU because I was enjoying my college experience. But it all changed and a degree was a necessity at U of M and it was a race to finish! I remember that professor Twomey came up to me after class close to the end of the semester and asked me what my major was.
I kind of smiled because I knew that he was asking me because I wasn’t really doing well in the class! I said to him, “Secondary education with a major in English and a minor in history.” Then he said, “So, you don’t need this class?” I smiled wider and shook my head and told him, “A ‘C’ or better and it counts.” I remember him just nodding and saying, “Oh, you’ll be fine then!
I don’t remember what I received in the class, maybe a low B? But I got my degree even before Sean started preschool! But, I thought about this class because I liked how he explained macro and micro economics to us. I was thinking about that today because what Dr. Harris said to me regarding my vision is 100% accurate!
Dr. Harris told me that he did not want to raise my prescription because he did not want me to sacrifice my nearsighted vision. It made sense to me today because I am NOT wearing my contacts! I have to blog on my iPad now because I no longer can see anything other than my text messages on my phone because I have it set to larger text (it’s two ticks away from the right) my vision is deteriorating and I really can’t think about that no but yesterday I was wearing my contacts and I could not blog because I cannot see with my phone. I am writing this blog post with my phone sans contacts so I can see.
I’ve been thinking about that, I can’t really see distance (the macro) with or without my contacts but I can see (the micro) without them.
Yesterday, we went to St. Alphonsus. My Mom took so many pictures and as I sat in the car I realized that that’s as much a blow to her as it is to me! She was an adult making all of the memories we all have from there and I was just a kid. My family LIVED at St. Alphonsus! I thought I would share a bunch of the pictures here today but I can’t. I looked at this picture it’s just began to cry… AGAIN!!:
I have ALWAYS been an overly dramatic teenager and especially while I was a student within these walls of both the grade and high school! This is the song that is playing in my head now:
This song seems super fitting to me and I wish I knew how to make a Flipagram and set the pictures I have to this song but I am 40 so I can’t do that!!!