Author: Jen Rios

Modified OR Deliberate

So, I have been experiencing ‘real time’ ability loss. The loss that I am currently experiencing is a little bit different than constantly dropping my pen in my last classroom where I would tell the student who sat there that they would have to pick up my pen a lot. This is MORE than that!

I think I really noticed it a few days ago and my Mom kind of got irritated until I explained to her what was going on. What I am experiencing now is more complete hand strength deterioration. I cannot hold on to basically anything now!

I was realizing that I was having a problem with my hand strength because brushing my teeth was becoming extremely difficult! I was brushing my teeth too hard so you can figure out what was happening when I spit.

I ordered an electric toothbrush last October and it ended up dying because I was holding it and pressing too hard on my teeth. Now, I have a new electric toothbrush, (that my brother bought for me) because I can’t afford another one seeing that I am on a fixed income.

But yesterday, I had to fill my pillbox. I talked about a modified pillage which was me very slowly putting each pill in its proper place. That process is extremely deliberate now so much so that Leia gives me the ‘poop face’ as I do it because it has been a couple Saturdays since I have dropped any pills.

Any movement with my hands is very deliberate now and I have been squeezing my therapy putty all year. So, I have to be deliberate whenever I am holding anything. I guess my whole life is modified now! I’m really not sure how I feel about that…

As the Crash Began…

I have completed my ‘two fer’ this month and yesterday as the crash began, my Mom put this movie on. I am situated in such a position that I remember watching her on Zoey 101 when she was like 12. Sean watched Victorious and so that means that I did too and I always liked her voice! Hearing this last night made me miss impromptu sing-alongs because that’s not in the cards anymore for me. I am reminded that recovery from here ‘two fer’ is a two day process… :

Barometric Pressure

Last night, I thought about when I bought my house and how my light switches had to be switched out. I was going to write a whole long story about the reasons for changing out my light switches but it’s raining today and it is cold! The barometric pressure is no joke!

I hope that I will remember what I was going to write about soon because this pressure is horrible!!! My body feels awful!!! As I said watching Hocus Pocus, I had to just groan multiple times because the feeling in my body was and is too much to handle!!!

I especially do not like it because tomorrow it’s ‘go time!’ I will crash on Thursday night but may be all right about it by the weekend…

Oh, How Times Have Changed…

I think it was a couple years ago when Sean was here when I was taking my contacts out. I was having difficulty just like I had just now.

It was a simple statement of how things used to be and it kind of give me a tinge of sadness. It was just an offhanded comment. He told me that he remembers when I would use my nails to pop my contacts out of my eyeball.

I did used to do that! In our apartments! When I was young, I used to buy my nails but then I stopped when I was about 12 because I wanted to polish my nails. I am blessed with good genes for nail growing. Everything else, not so much but my nails used to grow pretty long! I would just let them grow until one broke and then I would cut all of my nails down to the nub and start over.

When Sean made that comment that really meant nothing but for me, I used to do that and now things are so different! I keep my nails cut down to the nub all of the time now! I get my nails cut every other Monday unless it gets difficult to take my contacts out, in that case, I will have my Mom cut my nails earlier.

I thought about Sean‘s random comment today, this evening, when I was having difficulty removing my contacts. They are out now so I can write a blog post. Oh, how the times have changed… This all is really big and a little bit scary!!!

Ahead of the Game

So, I have changed my profile picture on both Facebook and Twitter four times but I just want you all to know that I wanted to actually wear the shirts I bought at the last T-Shirt party I went to hosted by my Facebook friend Jennifer Lavender-Shott. And here are the shirts I bought back in July I think:

I saw this shirt the previous party so I had to get that especially when the new one just came out!!!


I am not my son, Sean, the only person I know who looks good in orange but this is a Halloween color so…


I wasn’t even wearing my Contacts or even my glasses when my Mom took this picture!

I was bummed when I received this shirt from Jennifer‘s party last year but this shirt is so comfortable that it didn’t really matter that I couldn’t read it but I still rocked it anyway! Now I can add these three new shirts to my three old shirts from my Facebook friends to my illegible one that is still so comfortable!!!

I still have MORE than two weeks of movie watching but I am ahead of the game that I have already broken in my new shirts!

***By the way, my Mom is an EXCELLENT photographer! She ALWAYS makes me laugh!!!

A Slow Recovery

So, I had a virtual appointment with my speech pathologist on Tuesday and I had a virtual appointment with a nutritionist. I thought I could have two virtual appointments in a row because I did not leave my house at all so I didn’t think it would be a problem. Well, I was wrong!

I never thought that it would be difficult to speak and having an hour long conversation is quite difficult. I actually just had a half hour video visit but it was still quite difficult!

I was tired Tuesday night for sure! But then I got ready for Wednesday. I was extremely nervous about this appointment! My ability to chew has been increasingly diminishing. I knew that I was not getting all of the nutrients I needed so I knew it was imperative to speak with a nutritionist.

My Mom recently told me that she thinks that Meira sees a lot of patients who are dealing with worse issues then with what I am dealing with. She told me that I must be one of her ‘shining stars’ or some thing. I agree with her! Meira told me that she is very nitpicking with me because I only need to see her once a month now to make sure that my speech is Chris for in clear! I am grateful that I only need to see her once a month but it is exhausting! And on top of that exhaustion is the fact that I used to speak with such ease.

I had my appointment with Sara the nutritionist and she sees all of my information through Henry Ford. She actually saw how much I have weighed for a while. And she noticed when my weight loss started probably in about 2018. We talked about things I can do. I am switching to a smoothie diet because I cannot chew any longer.

My mom asked me today if that ability will come back and I told her that it would not. So, it’s a slow recovery from my back to back virtual appointments but I have to gear up for next Wednesday and Thursday for my haircut and doctor’s appointment. With both of those appointments completed, I can’t stop hearing this song in my head because all of this is so heavy!:

Back to Back Virtual Appointments

So I just completed my second virtual appointment. I had a virtual appointment yesterday with my speech pathologist and today I am met with a nutritionist! I thought that I could have back to back virtual appointment with no problem because I am not leaving my house but… That was not the case and I am going to crash hard tonight! Maybe I will explain myself better tomorrow…

Exhausted.

I had a virtual appointment with my speech pathologist, Meira. It was good that I had an appointment because I am absolutely exhausted right now!!! As we talked, she let me know that right now, I am 100% intelligible. I explained to her how terribly exhausting it is and I am the person who used to have, “Talks too much” written in the comments on her report cards in grade school!!! She agreed that it is exhausting but that I am doing a good job. Now, I need to sit here and not speak for a while…