“Stop It, Jen!”

Okay, here is the deal. My niece had her first communion yesterday at 12 o’clock. My job was to get my Mom there. I knew that. I told myself that I was just going to, “Push it!!!”

Things have gotten more difficult in these past 25 years but I still figured I could do it. I set my alarms and I woke up at 6 o’clock. I got out of bed at 6:30. I had put my contacts in by 8 o’clock in the morning.

My aunt came to pick my Mom up and it worked out. I just settled in to watch Hallmark movies. I saw the second half of one movie that I’ve already seen before just in time for another movie that I’ve already seen before to come on. I was totally okay with it!

A third movie started and it was one that I had seen advertised, but I had not watched it. I was interested. It was an okay Hallmark movie but I didn’t really dig the prince. I had seen the heroine in a Christmas movie before.

My Mom had already come home and she was laying down. I’m sitting there watching the movie when my right eye began to resist my contact. It completely moved and it kind of hurt. My Mom awakened to help me.

I remember when my contacts moved with my cousinT Shannon and I’m pretty sure I wrote about it before. Well, it was a little worse than that time. My Mom decided to use a Q-tip to pull the contact down that was on the top. That didn’t feel really good, but I was able to get the contact out of my eye. I thought to just put it back in my eye. But trying to do that my eyeball consciously resisted and it scared me.

I was just about to throw my right contact out when my left contact did the same exact thing! We did the same things for my left eye as well. After I had taken both of my contacts out, it was about 7 o’clock? I told my Mom that I put my contacts in super early this morning and I guess I only have about 10 hours of contact wearing time.

The fact that my eyes were consciously resisting my contacts made me afraid and I said to my Mom, “I don’t want to go back to glasses.”

I was 8 when I got glasses and I got contacts in sixth grade when I was 12. When Sean was probably in fourth or fifth grade, my eye doctor was the same as my nephew’s eye doctor. I did not have glasses then. I broke with them when Sean was probably about six. That eye doctor told me that it was better that I were contacts because my prescription was so high. (I think I was at -5.75 at that time.)

I kind of like the idea that I wear $9.99 glasses that I got from Amazon and Dr. Skarf put the prism in. It’s just a sticker on the lens in front of my eye.

So my mind is heavy with thoughts right now regarding my eyes. I will see my optometrist in August after I see my neural ophthalmologist in May. My current optometrist wants me to wear bifocals.. And not Invisalign bifocals. I will look so in-firmed like that! I have so much to think about! I had a really difficult time ‘pushing it’ this time and I don’t think that’s a thing anymore. I told myself as of this stuff played out. I tell myself, “Stop it, Jen!”

I really can’t do things like that anymore. It’s too difficult, sadly.

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