Category: Uncategorized

I had a fond memory this afternoon when I put my chapstick on for the first time today. The memory came about so quickly and I think that I can explain it using pretty much all of my senses! I am wearing the pomegranate flavor for my chapstick today:

In order to use up my summer flavors, I have used a different flavor for each day of the week. Thursday, however, is reserved for cucumber mint because that is my favorite!

The memory was sparked immediately when I opened the chapstick cap and a very small amount of chapstick that was left to be used fell out of the tube. I was able to catch the little plunger as it fell out of the chapstick tube. As I was putting it back in, I smelled the pomegranate chapstick and I thought of Barwis. I wore the pomegranate chapstick in the early days of working out at Barwis and I remember smelling that the day my cousinT, Shannon, came with me.

So, my sense of smell is in use in this memory because of the pomegranate chapstick but if I’m going to talk about Barwis, I cannot forget the overwhelming smell of a turfed football field! That’s what it smells like!:

These pictures were not from the day my cousinT came to Barwis with me but it’s from that first summer I’ve trained at Barwis! Back before the current renovations were completed. Jesse stretched me out similar to this each time we tried to get steps off.

So, with my senses engaged, I have sight, smell, taste, (I’m chewing my peppermint five gum then and now) and touch taken care. It only leaves hearing. I love that I thought of this particular day with my cousinT, Shannon coming with me to Barwis. I naïvely thought that it would be a lateral progression to me walking. I did not think about all of the variables and how it would ebb and flow.

But back then, the summer of 2013, I had recently heard and decided on my, “Walking Song” on the radio. I remember that day with my cousinT about how that song would be my Walking Song”:

So, I loved the video when I first heard this song and I wanted to be able to dance again one day. Jesse told me that would be a long way off but back then I was so motivated and I stupidly believed that I would walk again.

So, it’s common knowledge that I like to watch the same movies over and over again which I think is a trait I learned from my Mom. It has worked out with her staying with me throughout this pandemic because we have a very similar taste in movies. A few weeks ago, we saw, Spanglish, and my Mom and I have quoted it often! Last night as I was drying my hands, I was clearly reminded exactly why we “it!

The quote we say from the movie is toward the end and it is when the mom speaks to the daughter. The mom does not speak English very well and the daughter is growing up in the United States. She tells her that she needs space from her mom and turns away from her. The mom looks at her, grabs her shoulder, and tells her that,There is no espace between us.”

Last night, as we were completing our routine to get me ready for bed, I was staring off into space and drying my hands when I said with a far away look in my eye, I said, “I wish…” and a good deal regret in my voice as I thought of all of my limitations that have come about in the past five years. But before I could finish that statement, my Mom simply said, “Me too.

I looked at her and we met eyes and in those moments without speaking so much, we realized, (REALLY I realized) that there REALLY is no espace between us.

I posted this quote on Facebook a couple days ago:

Today was, ”Leg Washing Day” end it was the first time my Mom changed my socks to a smaller size I had just bought. The previous size was not tight enough on my leg so it was leaving marks.

I had called earlier when I started getting marks on my legs but they told me it was the humidity that was causing my legs to swell so these marks weren’t a problem but they didn’t feel very good:

But when she saw the lines on my leg that would happen when I was sleeping, she told me that I needed a smaller size. They recently came so my Mom put them on me today and they feel great!

So, these socks are a bit more snug than my previous socks and I have known of people NOT wearing compression socks because they’re too hard to put on! My Mom has been excellent at putting compression socks on me and she always has done it since I started to wear them. She struggled a bit at the smaller size and it kind of hurt my leg as she was pulling the socks up.

I kind of groaned and told my mom it was hurting. My Mom shifted her gaze to look at me from my feet and told me,” i’m doing this for free!“ As soon as she said it, I started laughing hilariously! She started to laugh as well which was those if we were both laughing at the absurdity of it all!

She really is the BEST caregiver and if I could, I would pay her but instead; I am lucky that I can cash in on the fact that she loves me!!! I really enjoy how we can laugh together so much of the time!

Today was voting day in my city I really take voting seriously and have participated in almost all of them. I have only had two mayors for my entire life living in the city. I voted for a third one today:

I was not able to vote absentee so my Mom took me to my precinct to vote. But, it’s August. and therefore extremely warm outside! I noticed the woman who checked me in, who has checked me in for years, noticed that my disease has progressed. I was in my motorized chair and was wearing glasses.

it didn’t take very long to vote but I am grateful that I did! I was number 703:

My Mom told me to throw away the tab on the top of my ballot. I laughed and threw it away but before I did, I told her I still have the bell tab from the first time Sean and I voted together!:

J

I’ve had one of these before when I first went organic. It was a bit bigger and the tops were purple and blue. I stopped using it when I realized it wasn’t good for my supplements to not be in dark bottles so I just took each pill out of it bottle when I needed it.

However, MS, being the absolute gem that it is, has begun to mess with my short-term memory! I can’t remember if I took my evening vitamins or not! I had to figure out a way to keep track and let go of the fact that these are for older people. I purchased one last week and it arrived on Saturday:

I looked through the description and I was thinking this looks like what I need! My pills have to be kept in the dark and I have a lot of them so I need a way to organize them but this picture gave me pause before I ordered it:

This pillbox is made for older people! I am not that old! Yet…

I filled the pillbox on Saturday evening and will do it again this coming Saturday. I asked my Mom for help at this time though to make it easier because I can’t control my hands very much these days…

A few days ago, I received my vitamins in the mail. Because of Covid, I am not going to see my Naturopath/chiropractor so I call my vitamin order in and they send it to me. I lined them all up on he desk beneath my TV. No, this is a process! First of all, I am well aware that I am OCD! I’m not embarrassed by it at all! When the package arrived, my Mom cut the package open and gave it to me. I took each bottle in its box and lined them up on the desk:

Looking at my desk, I feel rich! At least I will right now for a little while! The fact that all of these boxes are lined up on my desk leads me to another blog post but I need to think about that still. My Mom watched me painstakingly taking the boxes out of the package and lining them all of according to box size and she shook her head and started to giggle a little bit:

I knew what she was laughing and I just looked at her and completely straight face and told her, “I I am who I am!” The moment those words came out of my mouth, I heard this song and was taken back to being a child:

Sorry for the duplicated picture… I can’t figure out how to delete it…

I spent the morning setting up a background for this particular blog post! I reposted three different posts that explain my reasoning and they also explain my Mom’s clothes washing habit. I will show you all exhibit A and B and will leave you to come to your own conclusion with exhibit C which I discovered a few days ago:

Exhibit A:

This incident took place days before she moved in once she started sheltering in place with me for the pandemic. This is my FAVORITE shirt! Despite being ruined by bleach, I still wore it until it became too large for me. And this will lend itself to exhibit B.

Exhibit B:

This is my Michigan sweatshirt! This one hurt because it added to the hurt of my favorite t-shirt being ruined. Now, my favorite sweatshirt is also ruined!

I discovered Exhibit C a few days ago and I wanted to make sure it was what I thought it was! I was actually wearing the article of clothing but I lifted my right arm up to my face and licked the spot in question and unfortunately, it was EXACTLY what I suspected!!!

Exhibit C:

It was bleach. This is my third article of clothing since my Mom has been living with me that is ruined! I showed my Mom my arm and asked her what it was. She did not know but when I stuck my tongue out and licked my arm I looked at her sharply when I realized that it was bleach, she started to laugh! I explained to her that this is the exact reason why I have not used bleach for my entire adult life!

The only saving grace is that the sweatshirt is on its way out because it is getting too big for me to wear. Both of the bleached sweatshirts are getting too big for me to wear but I still wear them just in case my Mom ruins them further!!!

I only wash my hair every other day now. Really, my Mom washes my hair. That is a, “Best Case” scenario, if I don’t feel well, it is #DirtyHairDontCare!!! Which has been happening a lot more lately. I say this because today may be a night when my white hair is, “A beacon” as my Mom called it a couple days ago when she took this picture:

I’ve never really been concerned about my looks and I just comb my hair with one of those $.$.99 combs. It’s my Dad‘s comb. He used to get them at the hospital. Luckily, my Mom has brought me a few of them that she is found in closets in her house since he has been gone. I comb my hair in the morning and let it fall how it does. I am interested to see if I will get a beacon tonight but I think that’s pretty possible, I just hope the white hair doesn’t get any friends! At least not anytime soon!!!

Yesterday, as my Mom washed my hair, she asked Siri what time it was and as soon as the phone beeped and she answered, I thought of this song and I can’t get it out of my head. Siri is that it was 3:33.

I think I may be the only person who would think of this obscure song when Siri tells me the time but I don’t mind and I did!

So this is how my feet look right now at 7:08 PM:

This picture just shows me that looks can be deceiving because my feet are killing me! They have been her name from the moment my Mom uncovered me to get me out of bed. I had her take a picture of how my feet looked this morning after she put my shoes on:

I have been fighting with my feet from the moment I woke up! They hurt! My feet are beginning to pronate.

It hurts so I text Dan, “Phil” A few days ago and yes, he is saved in my phone as, “Phil” Even though his name is Adam:

It was a long text so:

And this is what he told me:

Since this morning, my Mom has been doing that multiple times while I sat there and allowed the tears tears to stream down my face. So, even though my feet may look normal no, they are fighting to turn in word end it is most painful!