I remember that I wanted an electric toothbrush when I was 15 years old for Christmas. I didn’t get it. But now, it’s not about wanting something but in fact, it’s needing something. I am having difficulty brushing my teeth!
I’ve had discussions what’s up and my MS groups asking for their suggestion and I saw this commercial a while back. Today, this arrived:
I probably won’t use it tonight but tomorrow after my dental appointment because I’m getting a cleaning tomorrow. I will keep you posted!
I started to not feel well yesterday as the rain continued to persistent and since it rained throughout the night I had a heck of a time falling to sleep! In the forecast today has more rain and it’s proving to be a little too much!
I have two football games to watch and I can’t muster up the strength to do that. I feel so badly that I couldn’t even jam to music! This rain is seriously killing me! It’s DEFINITELY a #DirtyHairDontCare Day because I was supposed to wash it today. I was so grateful that Michigan won and that is one of the games I am waiting to watch. I received this Twitter notification and I actually cried watching it! I’m so excited to watch the full game:
Then, there is the Lions v. Rams game. I am so conflicted about this but was comforted to see that my man is okay. Sean and my Mom call me a, “Turncoat” but I told them that I am consistent because I have ALWAYS been and WILL ALWAYS be a Matthew Stafford fam!!!
Now I can always look forward to tomorrow and hope that it doesn’t rain so I can watch these games. Probably just one a day because my Mom is not a football fan!
Leia’s birthday present arrived this morning. (One day early) I thought it was so funny to watch her follow my Mom to the kitchen to watch my Mom open the box. She knew it was for her because she could smell the pill pockets I ordered.
I snapped some pictures in the house but my Mom got butter ones on her walk:
But, this picture was my favorite!!!
She’s SO pretty in pink!!! I think she reminds me of Kate Moss because we try to get her to smile but she remains extremely stoic, just like Kate Moss did. I had to explain who she was to Sean. How would he know her when he was born in 2001?!
I talked to Sean on the phone yesterday. He asked me I watched, Hocus Pocus and when I told him that I did, he asked if I like scary movies. I told him, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” He then told me that I need to find a new Halloween movie. I didn’t think so at all!
He then asked me if I could say the movie verbatim. He laughed at my silence and I told him that I never have thought about it! I then proceeded to tell him the first five minutes of the movie!
He laughed pretty hard at that and told me that it is really bad! I then proceeded to quote Max, Allison, and Dani when they are in the alley behind the Italian restaurant. I told him that I really like the movie and it doesn’t matter that I can say the dialogue verbatim! I think I would mess it up a bit because sometimes I have difficulty speaking but I think I would do pretty well!
We had this conversation yesterday which marked T-15 which means that his birthday is in two weeks from today!!! In .T-14 days, I will have a 20 year olds as a child!!
Leia had an appointment yesterday because she is itching like crazy! Hi can’t afford any further allergy testing but she got another prescription and she needs to take baths more often! I am totally OK with that!!! My Mom and I pool our money to pay for all of these appointments.
My Mom told me that I have never had a lavish lifestyle having sent Sean to Catholic school and I did it by myself. I can’t when I am paying for her care! But, I told my Mom that it’s OK that she is a money pit because we love her so much!
I looked at her and kind of laughed and said that Leia is going to continue to make sure that I do NOT have a lavish lifestyle!
My Mom said something to me three times on Friday. Each time, all I could do is gasp or a little bit, groan, tell her I’m sorry. The things she said to me, three separate times, was, “ I miss my husband.” She just said it matter-of-factly. She didn’t cry but just said that because it is a fact after so long. It’s still a fact.
The third time she said it to me, I apologized and told her that I don’t know that. I told her that I only know loneliness. i’ve had short bursts of not knowing I’ve but that pretty much has been my constant. It was my Mom’s turn to gasp when I said that. I kind of shook my head at her. I’m OK with it. Or, at least, I’ve been OK with that. Because my body is in so much pain so much of the time I don’t bother myself with that.
I turned the TV on and said to my Mom Who was sitting behind me behind me that since I have watched her grieve my Dad for the past 15 years, I think I would prefer loneliness to that process.
I talked to Sean today and he is going to come by on Sunday. I told him that I have a record in Rams v Seahawks game that we can watch. He told me that I keep trying to make him a band Wagner like I am but he said that he is a Detroit fan all the way!
I told him that I had to follow my heart. I have lived in the metro Detroit area for all of my life and I was a super Lions fan since 2009 but when my man was traded, I was told that I should follow my heart and for once, it seems not to be leaving me a stray!
We can watch something else when he comes to hang out on Sunday. I don’t need to be convinced! I have made the right choice!
I bought Sean this jersey back in July before the season started! I’m pleased that the season for the Rams is going as well as it is!
I have written before about the fact that I live in my memories most of the time now! I am only saying that because last night when I was almost asleep, I had one of those memories! Really, it was about 2 o’clock this morning when I was falling to sleep.
At that time, I was just about asleep. My house was silent because I think that my Mom was already asleep. And was completely black except for the light shining through my window and through my blind.
I thought of this memory as I was just at the edge of sleep and I began to laugh out loud! Kind of for a while:
I asked my Mom the specifics about this memory but they are a little hazy because it’s from 20 years ago. I am not sure if I was pregnant or I already had Sean but my brother, Jimmy, came Over and I think my Dad had to be in the hospital and Sean was asleep? Either way, Jimmy, my Mom, and I were watching a documentary on the psychological differences between boys and girls.
A doctor or someone put it like this, “Girls, will stab you in the back. But boys will punch you in the face.“
I remember all three of us sitting there in silence for a moment and after a pregnant pause, my Mom said, ”NOT my girl!” After a moment, we all laughed and I added, “ “i’ll stab you in the face!“ which made my Mom and Jimmy laugh even harder!
I am sure that I have shared this memory before somewhere on my blog but I can’t find it now! Eight years of blogging is really adding up! For me, it was worth sharing because it delayed my falling to sleep because I was laughing too much, by myself, right as in the silence of my house!
I thought about this memory a few days ago as I was falling to sleep. This memory is from when Sean had to be about 11 or 12 years old. I remember that it had to be late fall because the weather was kind of cold. I kind of groaned a little bit.
Ge looked up from watching TV and told me that he wished that he could spend one day in my body to know what it feels like. I looked at him and could feel my eyes soften and told him then he did not want to do that for an entire day!
I told him that he should pick a day that is cold and raining because I feel really bad when that happens. I told him that I would like him to know what my body feels like for five minutes. I told him it feels terrible and I’m not sure you don’t want to be in this body for five minutes! I told him that three is probably too long!
I told him that I appreciated the sentiment but he doesn’t want ANYTHING to do with this disease!
Leia has been doing some thing for the past few days. It’s actually a really sweet routine! Yesterday, my Mom and laughed about it.
I didn’t yell out as much when she transferred me in the hallway but Leia still heard us struggling and ran to the doorway to see what’s going on and to offer her help! She’s so cute!
I love that she is eager to help and I only wish that she could!