Category: Uncategorized

Well, the third night of sleeping in my power chair was nice and I completely knew it! Actually, I didn’t know it, I HOPED that it would be but I wasn’t positive because the first night I slept in my chair was comfortable but the second night was terrible!

The first night I slept in my chair, I had to remind my Mom a number of times throughout the day that that was going to happen. When it happened, she has decided to sleep in my bed to be available for me if I need her. The first night, she was extremely uncomfortable and she was stressing me out! I told her that it was bad juju for me to go to sleep with her negativity!

What really stunk about my second night in my chair was the fact that I was not comfortable and I had to move my chair to try to find my comfort zone! I barely found it at all throughout the whole night so I slept terribly! The fact that I was moving my wheelchair in the dark and silence of my bedroom with my mom sleeping next to me also woke her up so she did not sleep well as well.

it was terrible yesterday during the day because I was tired and my Mom was tired all day! My Mom kept asking me if I was going to sleep in my chair or in my bed because I did not sleep well my second night. I had to explain to her that sleeping in my bed is something in the past. It hurts too much for me to continue to sleep there. I still need to talk with, “The Powers that Be” to discuss me sleeping in my chair but that’s where I am now. i’m not even sure who those, “Powers” are exactly!

I really appreciate that I had a good night’s sleep last night and I was completely comfortable. My neck hurt this morning and I told my Mom and she looked kind of excited as if my neck was hurt because I was sleeping in my chair. I wonder how long I will have tell my Mom that it hurts too much because it does! This really upsets me even though this is my reality and this is the progression of my disease.

This morning when I awoke, I did not make the same mistake as yesterday where I tried to move and adjust my chair to be sitting up so my covers got all tangled up with my wheels. It was not an excellent way to wake up! Yesterday, I had to explain to my Mom that it is necessary for me to have such weighted blankets! The weight calms my body enough so I can sleep. I’ve had that comforter since we moved into our second department in 2006. I bought it from JCPenney and actually, my Mom had to pick it up for me when I was at work. It was on sale! It was on sale just for me because it’s my FAVORITE color! Aubergine!!!

I wonder what tonight will be like but unfortunately, there is no going back from here.

As I have written extensively about the change in my sleeping position, there is also a change in my Mom helping me in and out of bed. It is quite involved, now!!! And with that added involvement, it has also added groans on my part! My Mom finally got me up and seated just as I turned my head toward the living room to see Leia trading toward us! Her little ears were at attention! My Momj heard her feet and said that if she could go hands, then she could be of assistance. I told her that she is here for moral support. I told my Mom that Leia is our therapy dog!

I had a virtual doctor appointment today with my speech pathologist. She had to change our game plan because I was having a lot of difficulty speaking and I was not able to read from a children’s book. I was stressed out! It started last night and at the risk of having this blog post also being, “A downer,” here goes:

I was stressed out because as I had written before about a change in my sleeping position and the fact that I sleep like a vampire now. But what was most unsettling yesterday is the fact that I was wide awake . REM sleep hasn’t been a thing for me for at least a decade! My body cannot relax enough to allow sleep and I’m okay with that. It just really stunk yesterday that I was so awake and I thought of this video:

I remember seeing this video when I was a kid and I remember the guy laying on the bed and nodding his head to the music. Well, not really but I remember his head moving and I remember him talking during the video. Today, after my speech pathologist appointment, I watched the video again because it has been at least 30 years since I have seen it. It was just like I remembered it and I listened to the soldier talking. I watched the video three times. I cried all three times!!!

My situation was not caused by a landmine but it is similar. So much has been taken away from me already and I actually talked to God last night about how much worse it will get I really am trapped in myself now…

Okay, this happened a couple days ago and I think that I LOVE my Facebook family and friends for their reaction to it!!!:

I looked at it and I think it was I had shared posts with misinformation. Apparently, the change in the zodiac signs was false and Betty White had a quote after death but that was not hers. it only took a couple of days before I started to see the true colors from my Facebook family and friends! I am glad that they did not think this was a bad thing and the comments they left were hilarious! A former teacher of mine told me that I couldn’t always be good and a cousin of mine told me that, “It’s a Rios thing.”

My favorite comment came from a DC parent and she was Sean‘s shotput coach when he was in fourth grade! He just simply wrote: “#FreeJenRios.” I left the most to add this one but then the gifs started and they kept making me laugh!

I love this little kid too!

And this one coming from my aunt whom I used to spend weekends at her house with my cousin made me laugh lots!!!

It’s not like I was sharing State secrets or anything but whatever! I just realize that today is the last Sunday that I will be 39. Next weekend, I turn 40 years old!!!

I posted this picture on my blog post yesterday. I’m pretty sure that I was 28 years old. Furthermore, I think this was the concert when we saw Maroon 5, The Script, and Train. We went to a different show the following year and there we saw Gavin DeGraw, The Script, and Train. I love this picture!!!

I thought about this picture more so when I started completing a puzzle on my puzzle app last night. I had written a post about those maybe a couple weeks ago and because I was using my iPad to edit things, my lack of hand control and dexterity caused me to permanently delete it. I will add a similar post to that one I posted yesterday, today just because I want to hear that Carrie Underwood song!:

I have completed maybe five or six more puzzles but it takes a long time to scroll through all of my completed puzzles but I’m still doing it and it keeps me calm. I have completed 150+ puzzles by now.

I posted this picture of my cousinT, Shannon and me at the concert because as I was completing my puzzles last night, I did not hear a Carrie Underwood song after my obligatory Sara Bareilles song completed. I kind of liked that I heard it when I did but I wish I would have heard it before when I was younger. Now, as I am just about 40 years old, everything is already undone and I handle stuff on my own now!:

But I did not hear Carrie Underwood yesterday, I heard this song from The Script which is one of my faves and I saw them sing it live when we saw them in concert:

So, as I am completing puzzles, I do about two or three a night, the music kept playing and it went from a song from The Script to a song by Gavin DeGraw which I LOVE and lastly, I finished flossing my teeth to a Maroon 5 song. That further gave me ANOTHER reason to post that picture of my cousinT and me!!!

So, yesterday was the fifth time I have watched the Super Bowl halftime show and yes, I cried AGAIN! Yesterday, I wrote about it and I was in a different mindset and I was looking forward to watch the halftime show that I already knew what was going to happen. I have decided that my favorite part is when Dr. Dre is playing the piano and toward the end of his playing; he smiles. That smile kind of reminds me of my Dad because my Dad had similar lips to Dr. Dre. So as I was reading my blog post, I was thinking like this because I loved the halftime show!:

so, as I was writing about the halftime show, I had this song playing over and over again in my head. It didn’t fit with what I was writing so I couldn’t add it to my post but I figured if I added an addendum, then I can tell you all what I was thinking yesterday as I was writing. I think they performed this song when I saw them with my cousinT, Shannon Over a decade ago now:

I really feel like this was MY OWN personal Super Bowl!! My man won (whom I have loved since 2009 when he entered the league and was playing for Detroit) and I ABSOLUTELY loved the halftime show!!! My Mom, not so much!!! And the only reason my Mom has seen it is because I have watched it three times on my TV and once on my phone!

On Sunday, when Sean and I were watching the game together, he also enjoyed the halftime show because he has been familiar with the music because of me. it wasn’t until Eminem came on when the tears started streaming down my face! (Add they seem to stream down that way each of the four times I have watched the halftime show already). Sean asked me why I was crying and I didn’t look at him but continued watching the show and just said, “I bought the CD and listened to it on loop in my car this summer after I graduated high school. It was before I started college, before I was diagnosed with MS and before I was a Mom. It was simpler times!”

I saw this post on Facebook just after the Super Bowl and it completely resonated with me for so many reasons!!!:

I think that I will queue up the game now for the fifth time on my DVR. Well, not the WHOLE game. I will start with the halftime show and I’ll watch the last 4 minutes of the game and the trophy ceremony. I am pretty sure, almost positive that I will cry again when Eminem performs…

I have been thinking about my Dad a lot lately. After 15 years, I have resigned myself to just live with this ache in my chest regarding him.

Anyone who knew my Dad, knows that he was NOT extremely demonstrative. That being the case, I DO have a few pictures of us together and I ALWAYS knew that my Dad loved me!

I think it was the Saturday before he died that I clearly remember him sitting at my Parents’ dining room table and I kissed him on the right side of his forehead and I just said, “I love you, Daddy.” I remember that he told me that he loves me too.

I also remember that and that Sunday, my Mom took Sean to Greenfield Village and I stayed at their house to be with my Dad. I remember that I called my Mom because my Dad did not sound well. She came home early from Greenfield Village with Sean. I was too chicken to say anything to my dad before I left and instead, told Sean to, “Kiss Grandfather goodbye.“

The last thing that I remember my Dad say was some thing like, “Come here, Handsome.”

I have already watched the halftime show three times and the game twice. My friend texted me this video and I was speechless. I absolutely love Matthew Stafford and I have never had a daughter but hearing him say that he loved his girls made me think of my Dad:

Dad Stafford 💙💛@RamsNFL | @InsideTheNFL pic.twitter.com/ivtsx1dTaO

— NFL Films (@NFLFilms) February 15, 2022

I saw my Facebook memories on Valentine’s Day and I had just left a special message for my Dad 4 years ago:

I really DO miss him! My Dad used to always buy AL of us our Valentine’s day hearts the day AFTER Valentine’s Day. My Mom would get her Valentine’s Day heart, and my Dad would buy four red hearts and one pink heart. The pink heart was for me! I never knew that he bought our Valentine’s Day hearts the day AFTER Valentine’s Day because they were cheaper.

I told a colleague about that and he laughed and said that he was going to do that because it was Valentine’s Day and he would not see his wife or kids until super late at night.

I am NOT even going to eat a pink Valentine’s day heart AT ALL but I liked thinking about my Dad doing that for all of us the day AFTER Valentine’s Day! So, you know what today is, right?!

I have been frequenting The Feisty Ginger for long time! I really do LOVE my mugs and I was able to get two of them for my Mom and me for Valentine’s Day. My Mom’s mug is on the left because she walks Leia and the one on the right is mine because love KIND OF bites for me!

My Mom made me those cinnamon donuts for the Super Bowl because she knows how important my Super Bowl food was for me. Now, I can no longer chew very easily so I had pirogi for the Super Bowl. She made the donuts for me because I had the mix from the last Pampered Chef party I had. She just surprised me with a few of them yesterday during the Super Bowl.

The BEST part of this package that I received was that I received my first birthday present!!! Deirdre, the owner of the shop, was in my brother’s class in grade school.

So, it’s Valentine’s Day and I ate those three donuts but I don’t want to eat much more sweet things because I AM going to receive a pink Valentine’s Day heart tomorrow from my Dad. Right Daddy? And I was not being serious with that last sentence because my Dad hasn’t been around for 15 years…