A ‘Bead Counter’?!

I have just finished filling my pill box for this coming next week. Currently, I am taking 21 pills a day. I bought myself the 21 dosage pillbox A couple years ago. I fill it on Saturdays after I have had my first two doses for the day. It takes me three rosaries to fill it. But today, I really started thinking about when I had that doctor appointment to get approval for Social Security/Disability.

I remember going to the place to get evaluated by a doctor. I was not nervous at all because I had already known that my working days were over at this point. I remember that it was cold. Not snowing but cold. I don’t even remember when I went for that appointment. I always seem to not remember specific dates about extremely important things. Maybe I do that on purpose or ‘on accident/on purpose.’ I don’t know!

I had already stopped driving because my vision and depth perception had already begun to diminish. When I was called over to complete the vision test, I was not embarrassed or surprised that all I could read were the first three lines. That was five years ago and I’m pretty sure that I could read even less now! I have since began wearing glasses with a prism over my right eye. I still wear my contacts (-7 prescription) but without my glasses and that prism on, I begin to see cross eyed.

When we first came in, the woman who was evaluating me before I went back and spoke with the doctor had me sit at a table where they were two napkins and a pile of quarters. I think that there may have been four or five. I don’t really remember. She told me to pick up one of the quarters and place it on one of the napkins. I was surprised at how difficult it was but I successfully completed it with a lot of effort!

I thought about this today because I have a routine of filling my vitamin box. I still use two of the ramekins that I got when I bought a complete Pyrex set for my first apartment. when my Mom came over that first day, she looked at all my Pyrex and told me that she would, “Have it.” I remember being surprised at that statement but I’ll let her leave with the box when she left our apartment. Sean and I went back to Target the next day and bought another box.

I keep those two ramekins on top of my pillbox with my therapy putty placed inside the smaller one. It’s really good that I gave her a complete set when I moved in to my first apartment in 2005 because just recently, I hit the table that has my pillbox and ramekins on top fell over and broke when I hit the table with my power chair. I was completely bummed until my Mom brought another set over from her house! It was from the box she told me that she would “Have” from my first department in 2005! And now, almost 17 years later, it is back in my possession.

Today, as I filled my pillbox, it became quite apparent to me that my abilities have diminished greatly. I pour one of my vitamins from the bottle into the bigger ramekin and then I take two fingers and pick one up to put in my box. I noticed today that I have slowed down a lot in doing this because I can’t really control my hands as much as I used to so it takes a while. I have to be deliberate in my movements.

As I watched my fingers move very slowly, I remember my Parents joking with each other as my Dad‘s vision started to go. They would joke and my Dad would say that he is just going to be a, “Bead counter” I did not understand that reference and I asked them about it and they told me about a Sidney Poitier movie, A Patch of Blue. I just recently saw that movie and I thought it was horrible! I can’t believe that people actually treated blind people like that! I’m glad that I didn’t become disabled until after the ADA was established!

I’m not blind… yet. And my hand-eye coordination is definitely subpar! I appreciated thinking about my Parents laughing together and that warmed my heart. I don’t think I could be a a very good ‘bead counter’ anyway…