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I texted Sean today at 1:38 this morning because I just realized it is May 1 and that is the day, 22 years ago, that I found out that I was pregnant. I texted him that and added this song in my text because this was the song that was playing in my car when I turned it on and laced my arms through the opening of the steering wheel and rested my forehead on the top of the steering wheel:

I have never forgetten so many details from that day, because that was the moment when I realized that I was NOT alone.

This is a 22 year old memory, but I can remember wearing gray Champion, sweatpants, and a free Western T-shirt that I had gotten during the past academic year. My wet hair was in a messy bun after my shower. I don’t remember my appointment time, but I already knew that I was pregnant but I needed confirmation.

I can remember the details about the woman who spoke with me at my appointment, her name was Laura, and remember her lavender sweater set. Those memories are playing in my head right now because I don’t think I am going to sleep anytime soon.

That place is on Telegraph road and no longer is a women’s clinic. But every time I pass it, I will never forget the events of 22 years ago, today and they are forever ingrained into my mind!

I had made a “The Seanie Mix” CD just like I made “The Daddy Mix” CD. I have just added songs to a playlist on Apple Music now. I have most of the songs that were on “The Daddy Mix” CD. that is just titled, “Daddy”and I have a “Seanie” playlist but “Your Song” is NOT on it. I think I’m going to do that right now and then try my hand at sleeping…

So, last night, I felt the hint of a scrape on my lips as I put my Chapstick on before I went to bed. So, this morning, I was too. groggy to deal with it so I threw the old tube out and started my new spring chapstick before we got into the restroom. But then I saw this just after I applied the cucumber mint Chapstick:

I feel a little bit chilly, and I wasn’t sure that I could continue wearing my spring chapstick. I looked through all of my boxes of Chapstick and I had another pomegranate one, so I made the executive decision to go back to wearing pomegranate Chapstick. I think I will try again May 17, that is my naturopath appointment and my haircut.

So this happened on Wednesday:

Normally, when I am this close to the end of a Chapstick tube, the plunger falls out of the empty tube so therefore, I need to have a “Bag o’ chapstick” which always reminds me of my student who noticed and commented on my “Bag o’ Lotion.”

I am absolutely startled at how quickly I am going through Chapstick but I guess that is part of my progressive disease. My lips feel so chapped all of the time! I amuse myself with all of my different flavors according to season.

I smelled, the hint of spring on Thursday, so once I finish this pomegranate, one, I will move on to my spring flavors!

I will just put this here because I DEFINITELY have to hear it right now:

My Mom has always been quite adaptable for my entire life! Because I am still rocking the window air conditioner, I turned it on a few days ago but tonight, I cannot handle this!:

My Mom pulled it out of the window and placed it on a dining room chair. This is how it is for me for the next couple weeks. #MSsucks!!!

The sound of rain on my roof woke me up this morning and I’ve had a rough day! I took an extra pain pill with my morning vitamins today. I just heard rain on my roof right now and it’s not making me feel any better. Cars driving by on the wet street is killing me!!! #MSsucks!!!

So, today is St. Patrick’s Day and I got my first St. Patrick’s Day shirt for people who are NOT Irish! I rocked it last year for the first time and I wanted to rock it again this year! Well, actually, I am wearing it right now. Let me ’splain ya:

I went to get my ID renewed yesterday after picking up the van and getting my haircut The day before yesterday. I have this all planned and out for the year in terms of my doctor appointments because I see a lot of different doctors now because my disease is progressing so much.

Last Wednesday and Thursday were the hardest days to this point of me having doctor appointments and stuff. I changed my shirt before we left to get my ID and as my Mom was getting my sweatshirt out of my bedroom, I snapped a picture.

On the way to Secretary of State, my Mom was looking at me in the rearview mirror and she asked, “What is this face? I have never seen that before!” I didn’t know what face I was making but I just responded by saying, “I have never felt this feeling before!”

I looked at the picture I had snapped of me in my Irish-ish shirt and I guess that was the face I was making in the back of the van that my Mom commented on. I guess more recalibration is needed:

Today is a recovery day for me after my sleep change from my nutritionist appointment and wheelchair tech visit and then the following day Leia went to the vet for my Mom to get trained on her shots that she’s getting now. My Mom will give it to her later today.

So, yesterday, I was talking with Sean and I had told him that Sarah, my nutritionist, broke up with me. Well, not really. And then I explained the terms of our new relationship to Sean.

Back in October 2021, Meira, my Speech Pathologist asked if I was losing weight without trying. I was glib and I told her that there’s always weight to lose! Because I have always been trying to do so for my entire life!!!

I had been seeing Meira virtually for about a year and she suggested that I see a nutritionist. And I started seeing Sarah at the end of last year. I have met with her three times and we have discussed my food intake.

She told me on Wednesday that because my weight is stable, she feels that I have a good grasp on what I eat. (which isn’t much but I am NOT faint) that we don’t need to schedule any follow up appointments. She told me to get bloodwork and a weight every six months and when I start losing weight again, she will meet with me again.

I told Sean that she can see my MyChart account for all the bloodwork and my weight. She told me to message her if my weight changes. When I told that to Sean, he he said, “Oh, she’s a stalker?!” I answered with a hesitant, “We-ell” and we both started laughing!

I am not sure if it is having MS for 22 years or the fact that I am turning 41 in three days but, I’m really not feeling it. It took 40 years but I think I am over the ‘birthday month.’ That is until today:

I forgot that I ordered these the week before my birthday month started! and these two flavors I had to try!!!

I even posted it on Facebook:

I saw these new flavors the week before ‘birthday month’ started. I ordered one of each because I wanted to try them out. I ordered a four pack because my Mom likes the chocolate chip cookies as well.

Because it is the second Thursday of March, and there are five weeks in March, I had to wait until today to try them. I actually told my Mom when I was halfway finished with my dinner that they were in the freezer.

I finished my dinner as they were thawing. I started with the brownie batter and I dug it a lot but then I took a bite of the mint chip ice cream… with the bite still in my mouth, I just said, “OH!!!”

I swallowed and finished the brownie batter because I wanted to savor the mint chip ice cream!!! I can’t wait until next Thursday!!! 😋😋😋

My Mom bathed her for her appointment tomorrow and she is all tucked in and resting: