Category: Spirituality

I told Parker that it is my religiousness that helps me with my spirituallity.

I am a practicing Catholic and a parishioner at the Church of the Divine Child in Dearborn, Michigan.  I absolutely love it there!

When I feel as if I’ve been “churched”; I feel that I have to share…

Fr. Bilot talked about this prayer in his homily on 10.19.13

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. 

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing.

And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it. 

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

I got this book from a child who approached me in the parking lot of a grocery store.  He asked me if I believe in Jesus Christ.  I told him “of course!”  I knew this boy wasn’t Catholic and I am very comfortable with the way I praise The Lord but this kid must have been seven so I was compelled to have a conversation with him.  After a short conversation, he asked for a donation.  All I had on me was a $20 bill that I had just got out of the ATM to get my car washed.  I gave it to him and his little eyes grew big.  He looked at the older boy who was with him (he must have been in high school). The older boy kind of nodded and the little boy handed me this perpetual calendar.  Getting this book was TOTALLY worth having a dirty car!

When I wake up and get out of bed (and that takes awhile most days) I get in my wheelchair and turn the light on.  I read from my Mottos for Success flip calendar and reflect on it in the shower as I am getting ready for work or the day if it is a weekend.  I find myself thinking about these few sentences for the rest of the day.  The next morning, I always read the previous day’s thought before flipping the page to today’s and the cycle continues.

Parker’s wife, Lori, gave this book to my Mom.  I read it with her a few times and ended up getting my own.  It is a small book with a with a spiritual passage on a full page with Bible verse references/suggestions.  I read it accompanied with my paperback Bible so I can highlight verses that I really like.  I used to have my son read the passages and verses with me when he was younger so he could practice his reading.  My paperback Bible is FULL of highlighted verses!  It’s nice to just flip the Bible open and read a very powerful and spiritually uplifting verse.  And I know it will be powerful and uplifting because I’ve already read it and highlighted it deeming it so.

So,  I have been dealing with a lot with all of the things going on. Recovering from surgery is difficult and a very long process and add to that I was fired from my job.  It gets to be a bit much and I have not been feeling really good.   Faced with no income for my household and having MS, the panic begins to rise!

A former colleague set up a gofundme account for me and it has been helping me to make ends meet with all of my household bills to this point. Donations have come to a halt and I needed some reinforcement.  I texted a woman who I have worked with and has been a spiritual guidance and friend to me for a long time.

CLICK PICTURE TO ACCESS LINK

She has been my colleague and friend for many years and she was making me feel better about things and let me know that God already has  all of this planned out.   We texted back and forth and she  sent the perfect things I needed to hear at that moment! She  validated me by saying, “Poor Jen”  and shared this wonderful prayer with me!:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that
I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.

This was a prayer by Thomas Merton.   That name sounds really familiar to me! She suggestion me reading stuff written by him and I most definitely will! She also sent me this picture which I thought was absolutely beautiful!:

She told me about his daily prayers in the woods and how, after his death, nothing grew there and it is in the shape of a heart.

I’ve been reading this prayer morning and night and trying to commit it to memory. I was so grateful that she reinforced my spiritual convictions!

Thank you so much Shelby!

Today is my Mom’s birthday.  I was the first in my family to with her a “Happy Birthday!”  Birthdays are important to me.

This morning, my “Mottos for Success” book read: “Though God’s ways of operating may perplex us at times, if we trust Him, in due time we will understand.”

\Wow.

I am not going to say that I understand because I don’t.  My Mom tells me that God is talking to me.  I can’t really hear him.  I’m okay with having monologues with God as a means of discourse.  I’ve heard I won’t hear Him like I think I will but that I should still listen.  Perhaps he IS trying to teach me a lesson.  A lesson in humility.  In the past few days, I have definitely been humbled!

Working out at Barwis was hard last week.  I only got 8 yards off on Wednesday.  My right leg is my “poop leg.”  It is NOT strong and it gives me the most problems.  I was prepared to go in on Friday and work my hardest!  I had my road test at 9:40 (I passed).  I drive with hand controls and periodically have to take road tests.  I was going to get my oil changed and tires rotated, see Ender’s Game with my son, and then go to Barwis.

As we are waiting for our car, I go in to use the restroom.  I LOVE the restroom at Les Stanford (my car service place).  The facility is spacious and EXTREMELY handicapped accessible!  Just when I am about to get back into my chair, my chair slips backward and end up on the floor.  I didn’t get hurt nor did I freak out.  A short time later, my son calls me on my cell phone and asks where I am.  I tell him that I am on the floor in the women’s restroom.  He tells me that he will be right there to help.  I say, “Babe, there is nothing you can do.  Tell Dan.”  I unlock the door and sit up on the floor.  Dan is the service guy.  I ABSOLUTELY love him!  He knocks at the door and tells me that it is him.  Just behind him is Keith.  I’m not sure what Keith does but he works there too.

They both walk into the restroom and Dan closes and locks the door.  I am BEYOND embarrassed!  I tell them that I have never been in a public restroom with two men in my life!  They both chuckle.  Dan asks what they should do.  I tell him that “I can’t see beyond my flush!”  I tell them to lift me like my trainers do at Barwis.  Both men grab an arm and a leg and I put my arms around their necks.  They can lift me into the chair.  Which they do.  They finish up my car and we are on our way.  I STILL am embarrassed no matter how many times both men told me that I shouldn’t be and that it’s okay.

A few days later, I am at work and I need assistance from the office   manager (my brother’s fiancé) in the restroom again at work at the end of the day.  She helps me and I tell her all about Keith and Dan and my embarrassment.  Later that evening, I am going to my son’s football banquet at his school.  I can’t transfer from my car to my wheelchair.  I am there with my 12 years old and I am not sure what to do.  A man I have never seen before asks me if I need a hand.  I give my standard reply of  “two legs would be nice” with a smile.  I accept his help and he and my son assist me to get into my wheelchair.  I don’t know if he was a football Dad or a cheerleading Dad.  I don’t know who he was; I have never seen him before but he helped me and was gone.  I didn’t see him again.

Wow.  3 different times I was completely EMBARRASSED but 3 different times complete strangers helped me out.   Thanks!