So, I have been dealing with a lot with all of the things going on. Recovering from surgery is difficult and a very long process and add to that I was fired from my job. It gets to be a bit much and I have not been feeling really good. Faced with no income for my household and having MS, the panic begins to rise!
A former colleague set up a gofundme account for me and it has been helping me to make ends meet with all of my household bills to this point. Donations have come to a halt and I needed some reinforcement. I texted a woman who I have worked with and has been a spiritual guidance and friend to me for a long time.
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She has been my colleague and friend for many years and she was making me feel better about things and let me know that God already has all of this planned out. We texted back and forth and she sent the perfect things I needed to hear at that moment! She validated me by saying, “Poor Jen” and shared this wonderful prayer with me!:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that
I think I am following Your will does not mean that I am
actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please You
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that, if I do this, You will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore I will trust You always though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for You are ever with me,
and You will never leave me to face my perils alone.
This was a prayer by Thomas Merton. That name sounds really familiar to me! She suggestion me reading stuff written by him and I most definitely will! She also sent me this picture which I thought was absolutely beautiful!:
She told me about his daily prayers in the woods and how, after his death, nothing grew there and it is in the shape of a heart.
I’ve been reading this prayer morning and night and trying to commit it to memory. I was so grateful that she reinforced my spiritual convictions!
Thank you so much Shelby!