Category: Barwis Methods

Deeds pulled me into Barwis after I transferred and opened the door on my own.  I just can’t seem to get all the way in on my own!  It’s a little bit frustrating but it’s good to know that I have people there who will help me out.  My legs were pretty tight yesterday.  The humidity was at 65% so my hair handled it okay but my legs – not so much!  On the table, my legs arched AGAIN and my quads burned in pain.  Methodically, Mike worked and stretched my legs to relax them.  This time, my LEFT leg was my “poop leg” and was NOT relaxing!  He apologized that I was not standing or walking today but I understood.  It will come.  Just not today.  I was just SO happy that my legs finally relaxed and weren’t screaming and burning in pain.

He stretched me until my time was up.  My legs felt so good that I was nervous how they would feel the next morning (this morning and they feel REALLY GOOD and I slept well last night).  I told him about Jesse and Phil being “ice-breakers” and wondered aloud if he would be one as well.  Connor took me out to my car again and I got in ALL BY MYSELF – AGAIN.  I texted Phil because I was SO excited.  He said that I did a, “Good Job” and that it’s good and I’m already getting better.  I told him that I have turned a corner.

But, I may have turned a corner but who REALLY knows where this path leads?  Ultimately, I WILL get to the end which is walking but this a VERY intricate maze I currently am in.  I’ve turned corners before just to be faced with a difficult obstacle.  I don’t know all  that this maze entails but I signed up to solve it a LONG time ago… So bring it!

Humidity was at 65%.  My hair handled it okay but my legs – not so much.  My legs were tight but not as tight as they have been.  Getting in to Barwis (Connor helped me), i made my way to the chairs.    When I got there, I saw a dad who I hadn’t seen for a while.  It was the same dad who asked me if I really did 600 squats.  We both recognized each other and after our greetings, he asked me where my boy, Adam, was.  I told him that I knew and then his next statement baffled me a bit.  He said, ‘You’re heartbroken, Aren’t you?”  It was more of a statement rather than a question.  I didn’t know how to answer that question.  It COMPLETELY sucks that I haven’t seen Phil in so long but I’ve said before that I like Mike and I have to keep my eye on the ball.  I WILL walk!!!

It was my time and Mike REALLY stretched my legs and hips out!  My butt REALLY hurt!  After the GREAT stretch to loosen me up, before my time was up, Mike had me lay flat on my back and bring my knees up with my feet still on the table.  I did it nicely 4 times.  I won’t say that it was easy because it wasn’t.  He told me to do it again and I had difficulty.  My right leg was true to form once again as my “poop leg” and it was EXTREMELY difficult to bring my right knee up.  I said, “Reset, reset” as I straightened my legs again.  Let’s try again.  I tried.  No dice.  “Reset, reset” AGAIN!  This time I squeezed my eyes shut even harder and gritted my teeth even more and I was able to bring both of my knees up to Mike’s satisfaction.  There.  I KNEW I could get 5 with my double reset!  Actually, I think it was Mike’s encouragement that gave me the edge.

I was EXTREMELY tired and Mike stretched me out further.  I asked about the band he was wearing.  Phil wore bands.  Mike had a white “WIN FOREVER” band and he explained what it meant to me.  Interesting.  He took me out to my car and I explained Phil’s 4-step process for me to get into my car.  “Stand. Grab.  Turn.  Sit.”  I told Mike that he was there to spot me and that I have trouble with the “turn” part sometimes.  Well, I DIDN’T this time.  I got in ALL BY MYSELF!!!  I stowed my chair and told Mike that I may need help getting my feet in the car.  I can get them about 90% in on my own.  I just need help with that last push.  This time I did and Mike helped.  It felt good that I was able to get my knees up the 5 times I did (even though I needed a double reset).  My shirt was NOT sweat-drenched, my face was not sweaty and red, and I was NOT gasping for breath as is the case as I have seen those high schoolers running sprints at the end of there workouts but I promise that I worked just as hard!

Yesterday, I woke up NOT feeling well.  Having MS for SO long (going on 14 years), I always wake up with some discomfort but I couldn’t remember feeling this badly.  I got up and got ready for work.  I was extremely slow in the shower and getting dressed.  I sat at the table for a LONG time before I even put my contacts in.  Man – this is rough!!!  When I got to work, 3 people told me that I looked “tired.”  “Tired” is code word for I look like sh*t and EVERYONE knows it!  But I felt it so there was NO arguing.  I texted Phil that I wanted to cry – not even scream – just cry.

I told Mike that my body hurt which was A LOT different from last week but it’s the perils of having MS.  This stinks!  Mike stretched me out extremely well on the blue table.  It was QUITE intense at times but I gasped and breathed through it and Mike didn’t let up.  My legs loosened up and he had me  bend my knees and move both of my knees/hips from side to side.  He put me into my chair and took me outside.

I went through Phil’s 4 step process again and I WAS ABLE TO DO IT!!!  Mike helped me with my feet but my knees bent on their own and I told him that he was lucky that he didn’t have to do Phil’s “bends.”  I drove home with my legs relaxed and my hips and outer thighs kind of hurt but it’s a good pain NOT like the morning!

It has rained ALL DAY today as well.  Man – this is ROUGH!!!

I felt better on Wednesday but my legs started to tighten up as I laid back on the blue table.  I told Mike that that usually happens but it’s good because he’s there  to make me feel better.  We did a form of hypers where he had me lay back as far as I could from a sitting position and then sit up.  I did those really well and I was proud of myself!!!  Apparently, all of those crunches that I’ve been doing (the idea originated with Jesse, continued with Phil, and now I just keep it up out of habit).

Then he put a big medicine ball between my knees as he worked on my abductors.  I could feel the muscles working in my butt and outer thighs.  We worked some more and the feeling I was feeling changed into pain.  It was a sore muscle pain that really is a good thing.  We finished and Mike had me scoot to the edge of the table so he can put me back in my chair.  I began to feel sick so I told him to hang on a minute.  I have only felt sick at Barwis a few times but I remember Phil telling me that it was a good thing so…  I just waited for the sick feeling to leave so I’d be sure not get sick everywhere.

Mike took me outside and I was able to “Stand, grab, turn, and sit” ALL ON MY OWN AGAIN.!!!  Mike just has to get my feet in but it’s good that my knees bend on their own now.  I woke up Thursday morning to my legs hurting but it took me a few minutes to realize that the hurting wasn’t just pain but sore muscle pain and that’s a good thing.

I got in to Barwis a little bit early and was in the middle of an intense text conversation when Mike comes over and asks if I’m crying.  I backed up into the bathroom to make sure that I wasn’t.  Deeds walked by to check on me.  I was just blowing my nose!  So, I laid on my back on the blue table when it was my time and Mike had both of my knees stretched out to my right with his left hand and then he made sure that my left shoulder was on the mat with his right hand.  Now this particular stretch was INTENSE!!!  I just kept yelling “Ooh Doggie!”  I was trying to talk myself through it.  I told Mike that sound effects help (me get through it) and he kept asking if I was 5 and telling me to, “Shut up!”

Next, Mike had me lay on my stomach and was stretching my legs behind me so that my heels were close to my butt.  In high school, when I tore my ACL, I was stretched the same way after surgery by my physical therapist.  I remember that it hurt but I’m pretty sure that it didn’t hurt this much!!!  It took Megan commenting on my screaming for me to really realize how loud it was.  I really wish that that stretch would be the last time that my legs would be that tight and the last time that it would hurt that badly… But I KNOW that it’s not.

Mike took me out to my car.  My legs were extremely tired!  I opened the driver’s side door and repeated in my head: Stand. Grab. Turn. Sit.  I tried once.  No dice.  I had to sit back in my chair.  Take two.  Mike gave me some assistance to stand but again, no dice.  I thought that “3’s a charm” and I tried a third time.  I was up on my own, I grabbed the steering wheel, I turned, and when I sat, I undershot it and didn’t land on the driver’s seat.  Mike helped me get in to my car and as he did, my knees bent and Mike was able to get them in my car easily so I guess it IS progressive!

I was running late to get to Barwis on Monday.  I didn’t have to work (It was the 1st day of Christmas Break) and I spent the day lazily watching TV.  (Mike told me that he could tell (my legs were PRETTY tight)).  I opened the door to Mike clicking his teeth at me because I was late.  I hurriedly put my hat, gloves, and my Dad’s Army jacket on the chairs and headed over to the blue table as is the custom now.  I laid on my back and Mike started to put me in the infamous “Oh Doggie!” stretch.  This stretch is still intense and Mike let out a low “Ooh Doggie.”  He did this a few times and asked me if I was going to say it.  I said that I was just going to “suffer in silence” through gritted teeth with my eyes squeezed tightly shut as he pressed his right hand on my left shoulder.  I was COMPLETELY thinking “Ooh Doggie!” but I wasn’t going to say it.  Mike was having too much fun making fun of me and saying it a bunch of times.

I remember telling Jesse once that he wasn’t like one of my brothers or one of my colleagues or one of my friends but there was a stronger “something” of how I felt about him; he was helping me to walk again.  That was mind-blowing for me!!!  I don’t remember specifically the day where I got really comfortable with Jesse but it was early on, with Adam too (Well yeah – I called him “Phil”).   Barwis is the one place in the world where I feel completely comfortable in my hope to walk again.  ALL the men who have worked with me (Jesse, Phil, and now Mike) ALL have felt how tight my legs can be and have stretched me with great exertion to loosen them up and they have ALL picked me up.  (This is a BIG thing because I KNOW I’m pretty hefty!).

I have felt close to my previous trainers, Jesse and Phil.  Mike became my trainer the Monday AFTER Thanksgiving and here it was, the Monday BEFORE Christmas and Mike was completely comfortable enough to make fun of my “Ooh Doggie”s.  In a strange way, it kind of gave me a certain level of comfort.  I have many fond memories of laughing with Jesse and Phil (mostly at my expense) over the past 16 months and now I have a memory of laughing with Mike (at my expense) and that is comfort for me.

I was late again to Barwis.  Dan asked if I didn’t have to work.  I told him that I didn’t and then he asked why I can’t be on time.  I kind of shrugged and said that I’m off schedule and I just can’t seem to “kick it in the a**!”  We laughed as Mike pushed me over to the blue table.  A few weeks ago Mike and I were talking as he was stretching my ankles I think I answered one of his questions with, “I have a GREAT smile!”  I have responded with this statement many times in my life as if it is a serious answer and will solve the problem at hand.  It usually is followed with laughter.  Mike looked at me and responded, “That’s debatable.”  I began to laugh loudly when he said this.

Once I was on the table on Monday, Mike began stretching my ankles and I told him about my conversation once with Adam when I said that my body can’t handle NOT seeing him for a week.  My legs get painfully tight and sometimes swell.  I told Mike that my legs began to swell over this past weekend (because I hadn’t seen him since last Monday because of the holiday) and he told me that it’s because he has a magic touch.  He looked at me and smiled because he was joking and I looked back at him and smiled and said, “That’s debatable.”  And then we both laughed.

I laid back and he began to put me in the, “Ooh Doggie!” stretch.  It was not as intense as it has been in the past and I asked him about it.  He agreed that it is a bit easier so there IS progress.  Mike put me in my car (kind of) because my legs were Jell-O but my knees bent easily.   As I drove home; they felt better – so it IS progress and that is NOT debatable.

 

I showed up to Barwis yesterday ON TIME (a little bit early actually) so Mike took me a little early.  I sat on the blue table and Mike reached down to grab my ankle.  My legs were pretty swollen!  I told Mike probably the second day he worked on me that I WOULD get cankles  and sure enough; I have!  As Mike started kneading my legs (as both Jesse and Phil have had to do), I told him that I thought it was because I was on break (from school) that my legs swelled.  When I am on my work schedule I am up and in my car  A LOT earlier.  My legs started feeling better the longer he kneaded them.  He put me in the “Ooh Doggie!” stretch but HE’S the one who says it now as a joke but it REALLY did hurt that first day.

He had me lay on my stomach and stretched my legs behind me.  The stretch was intense but I didn’t scream.  A yelp may have slipped out though.  Then Mike had me sit up and he grabbed my hands and held them (he was seated on a stool in front of the table).  He pulled and pushed my arms (core work) and began dancing to the music so my movements were choreographed.  Jesse had worked with Mike previously some years ago and he told me that Mike would not be as goofy as he (Jesse) and Phil were with me before I met Mike.  I told Mike that Jesse and Phil used to dance and it made me feel comfortable that Mike was dancing too.  I’ve felt for a LONG time that MS has taken my dancing from me.  I asked Jesse when dancing would come back because I miss it (not that I was that impressive) and he told me that it would be awhile.  Well, it didn’t come back yesterday but…we’ll see.

I undershot sitting in the driver’s seat when I attempted to get in my car.  Once I was in my car, Mike and I continued a conversation I had started earlier.  I’ve been asking Mike questions about his family since the second day he worked with me in an attempt to expedite me getting comfortable with him.  The first time I started asking about his family (the second time we worked together) he was a bit taken aback with all of my “personal” questions.  I told him that it doesn’t get personal until I ask him his middle name (I know both Jesse’s and Phil’s – but I don’t think Mike and I are there just yet).  I asked Mike what his family calls him.  He said “Rhoades” (his last name) and then he told me that his name is Mike.  I told him that my family calls me, “Jenny.”  He laughed and called me “Jen-ney” (just like Forrest Gump (like I haven’t heard that a million times since 1994!))  Once I was in my car, I continued the conversation and asked if they call him, “Mikey.”  He was putting the metal arm into my wheelchair and he straightened up, looked at me, and warned me to, “Watch it!” Oh! Oh! Oh!  I don’t think I’ll call him “Mikey” like I called Adam “Phil,” but it is a weapon that I will keep in my arsenal.  A well-placed “Mikey” will work to my benefit!  I laughed at his response and he shut my door saying, “Whatever, Jen-ney” and shook his head.  I laughed more and nodded my head saying, “Mikey.”  He circled around the front of my car, stopped, and shook his head with a straight face to which I smiled, nodded, and may have given him a “thumbs-up.”

I was on time to Barwis and my legs were still swollen.  I hope that being back in my routine of being at work will help me but it hasn’t yet.  Mike worked my calves to make them less swollen.  After they started feeling better, he had me lay on my back.

I told him that he put me in a “modified ‘Ooh Doggie!'” stretch” (he had my knee placement a little different).  Then he had me lay on my stomach.  He did all the same stretches he has done before but it hurt a little bit less so he could stretch me further.  I let a few grunts and gasps out when I was laying on my stomach and I only realized that because Deeds commented about it.

Mike took me out to my car and reminded me of the 4 step process I need to complete to get in my car.  I repeated it aloud, “Stand. Grab. Turn. Sit.”  I tried and only was able to stand.  My legs felt so much like Jell-O that I was surprised I could do that!  I tried again, undershot the car seat, and collapsed and almost ended up on the pavement.  Mike caught me though.  He had me sitting in on the driver’s seat in like 12 seconds.  Once sitting my legs automatically bent.  (It’s nice to FINALLY see progress in this regard but I kinda miss Phil’s “bends.”  Mike is A LOT better at helping me into the car than Sean because he’s NOT 13.  I was completely in my car in like 44 seconds.  My legs began feeling better as I drove home.  I hoped the swelling would go down soon.

Well, the snow has started to fall and I am STILL in my wheelchair!!!  I HATE the snow because wheels and snow don’t go together AT ALL!  I pulled up to Barwis (early) and called to have someone come out and help me.  Alyssa answered the phone and I told her the deal.  She came out with an “almost Adam-sized” guy named Jareth and a shovel.  There wasn’t TONS of snow, just enough to make me slip so I told Jareth what we would do to get me into my chair.  He would spot me as I stood and ease me down into my wheelchair.  He did and Alyssa pushed me inside.

My legs were just a little bit swollen and it wasn’t until Mike pushed me to the blue table that they began to stiffen.  That ALWAYS seems to happen once I get to Barwis!  He had me lay down on my back and put me in the modified “Ooh Doggie!” stretch.  It felt SO much easier!!!  He asked me if I felt a stretch and I nodded.  I asked him how I felt and he said that we were “definitely gaining ground.”  I liked the way that sounded.  I need to be reminded that I am making progress periodically.  Then he had me lay on my stomach.  He put my left leg in an L-shape and moved my foot to the left, right, and toward my butt.  He asked me where I felt the stretch each time he changed directions.  It was REALLY cool that I was ACTUALLY feeling all of the muscles that I was supposed to when he changed directions.  When he was stretching my right leg, I asked him if I feel different from I did the first day he stretched me and he replied, “Absolutely.”  SCORE!  I liked that response!

Mike took me out to my car.  He reminded me of the 4 step process to get into my car but I told him that I can’t do that in the snow.  He helped me into my car with a few technical difficulties but I was in.  In the process, my legs stiffened and would NOT bend.  As he was trying to bend them, I said Phil’s “bends” and ended with the “bend it”s.  I said I missed Phil’s “bends” but maybe I really didn’t because I liked when my legs just automatically bent; it felt like I was gaining ground.