Category: A Bit Of Randomness

This category is full of randomness that really doesn’t fit nicely into any of the categories having to do with my road to walking.

Music Faces

The first time I saw a Maroon 5 in concert, ( I have seen them three times) I witnessed Adam Levine‘s insane musical talent! He completely shredded it m on the guitar and he rocked out on the drums! I always have liked people’s, “Drumming Faces” because the faces guys make when playing the drums is hot! I don’t know where this belief came from but I completely stand by it!

I am COMPLETELY in on the last season of Game of Thrones after binging the first seven seasons a couple years ago. This video showed up in my YouTube feed a few days ago:

My Mom is NOT a fan of Game of Thrones at all! She says that, “There is too much killing and all that other stuff…” Although she does not like the show, she did tell me that she thinks that the introductory song is beautiful! I texted her this video and she has since shared it with my brother and her hairdresser.

She has told me that she appreciates the cellists, “Music faces!“ Well, that’s where I get it from then! I too have that appreciation for passion expressed in people’s faces while playing an instrument; although, I just appreciated drummer‘s faces until seeing this video.

I don’t want to say that I am to sick to attend live concerts; but, reluctantly, I think I may be too sick to attend live concerts now. I will however, hold out for an intimate concert with U2 in Dublin though… I am just putting that out into the universe but I recall Adam Clayton’s face (he plays the bass) and I dug that too do you only time I saw them in concert.

NOT a Soprano

It is no secret that in the 18 years that I have been on this horrible journey, MS has taken MANY things from me! I don’t want to innumerate all of my losses now but rather; I want to prove that in spite of everything, (“Everything” includes my consistent, enduring, and excruciating, knee pain!) I still can find a way to amuse myself and to laugh. I did that the other day.

Because I am basically homebound now, I read a lot more and I watch a lot more TV. I have seen this commercial many, many times!:

Sean had just gotten home from school and was changing and putting his book bag away when this commercial came on. I have seen it so many times that I HAD TO sing-along! Pretty loudly! Now, when I was in high school, I sing often and I was in the school musical all four years. When Sean was in preschool, he actually told his friends at school that I was in a band eith my cousinT, Shannon.

I started singing less and less when I began teaching and as Sean got older. I started singing less maybe because of the work I put in to teaching but maybe it’s because my MS progressed. Your vocal cords are a muscle and I think the fact that I am seated all day long does not help either. Not training at Barwis Methods has greatly affected my core muscles so I can’t even sit up straight most of the time. You can’t sing if your diaphragm is compressed.

With Sean here in his bedroom, I still belted out with the singer all of the notes she hit! She sings pretty high pitched! She is a soprano. Even when I was in the height of my singing in high school, I was NOT a soprano. The other day, it really didn’t matter to me and I belted out that song regardless! Maybe I should ask Sean what he thought about it. But, he already knows that I am weird! He has thought that for a very long time!

“Roont”

Okay, so, for the last few days, my Mom and I have been listening to the theme song of Game of Thrones while we complete our morning routine. She likes it and I am so excited for the last episode tomorrow. Now, I don’t want to ruin the theme song for anyone by writing this but I want to let you know that it is completely, “Roont” (My Dad used to pronounce “Ruined” like that) for me and I will tell you why in this post.

On Apple Music, they do not have the 2 Cellos rendition of the theme song so we are listening to what sounds like this:

Listening to this song as it plays over and over as we complete our work, brings to mind the opening credits and this scene from, “The Battle of the Bastards” for me:

Yesterday, as the theme song was playing over and over, my Mom said to me that, “It sounds like that one movie with the Indians, The Last of the Mohicans.” Well, that roont it for me! Now, I no longer see Jon Snow or horses riding toward me in slow motion. I see Daniel Day Lewis:

More specifically, I see this part of The Last of the Mohicans and also the fact that the Indian who beckons Alice to come away from the edge reminds me of Jerry, my first physical therapist.

I told my Mom that I can’t NOT see Daniel Day Lewis and it is completely roont for me but she let me know that it’s not her fault that they sound similar and that it probably won’t be ruined tomorrow when I watch the final episode. Thinking about it, it probably won’t but that’s what’s in my head right now!

Devastating

What I was young, probably third or fourth grade, my friend, Heather Wells gifted me a huge box with the entire Babysitters Club book series. I felt as if I had struck gold! I also learned very quickly that when it was summer, I could read an entire Babysitters Club book in one day. I have always loved to GOBBLE Books up!

I’ve written before about when I first started reading the Twilit series when it was really popular and I had just been given four copies of all four books for my classroom library. During silent reading, I flipped the first book open and started to read. It was terrible because I HAD TO finish all four books in four days (maybe five) and I did not grade any papers during that entire week!

When I was still an undergrad, there were times where I forewent sleep to start and finish a book. I did that for The da Vinci Code. However, now that I’ve had MS for 18 years, things have begun to change. I can no longer do that.

I am currently reading:

I saw a video on YouTube not too long ago, actually, it probably was a commercial, that let me know if you read for 45 minutes a day, most likely you will finish a book in one week. I began reading this book on May 10th. It’s been longer than a week! This morning, I only had 100 pages left. It’s sad to me that I know that I will not be able to finish it today.

The old me, before MS, would have been able to. But now, my eyes are shaking and after a while the green leopard print comes back and I read A LOT slower than I used to. Maybe it’s a whole neurological thing. I don’t know! But I know that it stinks!

My brothers have always called me a nerd because I am such an avid reader! I don’t mind being called a nerd for the fact that I am heartbroken that I can’t read as fast as I want to! The last 100 pages of this book may take me one or two more days to read and that just is not how used to be me. As a former English teacher/Reading Specialist, it is really devastating to me!

Apology

I asked my Mom if she could leave a popcorn pack out in front of the microwave with the big pot with the handle on the stove so I could pop popcorn later. She looked at me questioningly and reached into the cupboard to get a package of microwave popcorn.

As she did this, I explained how difficult it is to maneuver my chair back and forth to situate myself properly to open the cupboard to pull the rollout shelf where the popcorn is on it. I have difficulty pushing it back in in order to close the cupboard as well. The whole process takes about 10 to 15 minutes.

As I told her this, to pulled a package out, easily pulled the plastic wrapper off and popped it into the microwave. What she just did in three minutes would take me at least another 10. She looked at me thoughtfully and she handed me the pot with the handle with the popped popcorn in it. I held the pot close to my chest and held the handle with my right hand while maneuvering my chair with my left hand to exit the kitchen backwards.

This morning my Mom apologized to me. I gave her a puzzled look and asked her why she was apologizing. She told me that she was sorry for the loss I experience as I witness other people do things that I can no longer do. Then she added that I still try my best to do them even though it takes me a lot longer.

I’ve always been an overly emotional person. I wasn’t prepared to hear apology. My eyes began to well with tears and I thanked her for her apology. It’s not often that I hear that. There are so many things that are more difficult for me all while dealing with my knee that is STILL killing me!

My Mom’s acknowledgment of my struggle and apology for it was very much appreciated but it made me think that it is really sad that an apology is warranted. Today, I miss my old life, before MS.

Miss Saigon OR Weird

This evening, as Sean and I finished eating dinner, he took the plates and rinsed them off in the sink. I asked him for a sliver of my birthday cake. (We only have about half of it left to go!). I’m not sure why this song popped into my head but I began to sing it.

My cousinT, Shannon, introduced me to this play when I was in the high school and we listened to it often as we drove around. We saw it before I got pregnant with Sean at the Masonic Temple, I think? We were with my Mom and I know that she really didn’t like it very much. I loved it!

I’ve known all the words to this play for a long time but it has been a while since I sang any of them. It was a perfect time I guess because I sat in the kitchen as Sean cut me a sliver of my birthday cake and begin to sing it. I was just beginning to get into Kim‘s part when is Sean stopped cutting the cake and looked at me and told me to, “Quit being weird!” Then we both busted out laughing!

I told him that I was going to write a blog post about this because this song is REALLY in my head! As I searched for audio of the song that I was singing, I came across this one;

Sean was in his room when I called to him and asked if he remembered me singing this song to him which he did not. I sing it to him when he was really small! Probably well we were still living with my parents. OF COURSE, I CRIED!

#ToyStory4

This morning, the breakfast table on GMFB talked about the Indianapolis Colts tweeting out this picture with the caption “Andy and Woody” #ToyStory4:

The first Toy Story came out in 1995 and thr second in 1999. However, for Sean‘s second Halloween in 2002, he wanted to be Woody from Toy Story. He was almost 2 and he called Woody, “Boody.” My friend, Ami, made him the BEST Woody costume! This was before social media and I’m frustrated that I can’t locate the pictures right now.

I stayed up all night days before Halloween in order to carve two pumpkins for the occasion. It was the first time I pulled an, “all nighter” as a mother (Sean was a perfect baby!). I had just ordered two carving kits online, One with Woody’s face and another with Buzz’s face. Just after I finished carving the pumpkins and lit candles into the pumpkins; Sean woke up.

The pumpkins were on my parents’ stove and as Sean turned the corner and saw them, he exclaimed, “BOODY!” At that moment, I was extremely tired but it was COMPLETELY worth it!

Sean had Woody, Buzz, and the Hot Dog toys. My Mom wrote Sean‘s name on the bottom of Woody’s booth similar to Andy’s in the movie. I just found Woody again a couple years ago:

Nate Burleson commented that he hoped Toy Story 4 didn’t get him as emotional as Toy Story 3 did. Peter referenced the incinerator. OH MAN!!! That was rough!!!


My brother took Sean and me to see Toy Story 3 at the Greenfield Village IMAX theater when it came out in 2010. I remember we talked about on that scene being kind of difficult!

Sean and I saw that a fourth Toy Story was coming out and he will drive me this time. He told me that he didn’t care that he was 17, he wants to see the movie! I told him that I do too!


Nerds

I grew up reading the Ramona Quimby books. She still is an iconic character for me! When I was young, my Mom would rent Ramona Quimby audiobooks on record. She would start the record as we cleaned the house. I am pretty sure that two of my brothers still know the whopper burger song!

Yesterday, my Mom picked me up a new pair of compression socks from Binson’s. Today, she changed my socks and put them on. I told her that my previous socks were beginning to, “Bag at the knees and wrinkle at the ankles!“ I couldn’t believe that my Mom did NOT get that reference!

It was when Ramona wanted to be in commercials and she told her teacher that her legs looked like an elephant’s leg because her stockings were so wrinkled. Ramona couldn’t understand why her teacher was so offended but then the sentences after explained that Ramona’s own stockings were, “Bagged at the knees and wrinkled at the ankles.“

I explained the reference to my Mom and exclaimed that I loved Ramona Geraldine Quimby! My mom told me that she does not like that name and that it’s ugly to which I gasped and told her that I love her because she lives on Klickitat Street next to Howie Kemp! As I was telling my Mom this, Sean chimed in through his bedroom door and asked if Howie had his own book series. I responded with an exuberant, “Yes!” and added that it also included his dog, Ribsy.

I used to take Sean to the library and got those books for him when he was young. I smiled at the fact that Sean remembered this fact and my Mom shook her head and whispered, “Nerds! Both of you!” I laughed really hard to hear her say this. When Sean was younger, he was an avid reader, it was something I’ve passed down to him! I appreciate that!

My new compression socks DO NOT, “Bag at the knees and wrinkle at the ankles,” they feel really good! I have never had to put them on myself. I wouldn’t even be able to now so my Mom puts them on for me. I tell her that she makes it look easy and I don’t know how difficult it is! She will just respond with, “It is!”

I am very grateful that she does this for me because now, without my socks on, for the shortest amount of time, my feet turn purple because my legs no longer have proper bloodflow anymore. I also appreciate that I’ve been thinking about the Ramona books since my Mom called us nerds. She has never done that (that’s mostly left for my brother, Dave, to say) but she kind of laughed at the literary conversation Sean and I had and the fact that we were the only two people in the house who know what we were talking about. If that makes us nerds, I’m totally OK with that!

“Everything’s Big in Texas”

I miss my Dad today. I think it’s because his birthday is coming up, on Thursday, and today is Memorial Day. He was a Vet and his casket was covered with an American flag at the mausoleum.

This morning, I helped my Mom order flowers for my aunt’s funeral. She is not good at ordering things online so I did it for her. Before we ordered, she called my cousin, Reyna to find out my aunt’s favorite color. I probably have only seen my Tía Olga maybe 10 times in my life but she meant so much to me and I was really affected by her passing!

My Dad was happiest when we were visiting relatives in Texas. I first met my Tía Olga and Tío Rey when I was six years old. Texas was so foreign to me because everyone spoke so funny (with their southern accents) and it was so blazing hot!

My Tía doted on my Dad! My Dad would call her, “Aunt” (she was his dad‘s sister so really she was my great aunt) and when they spoke, if my Dad had a question or if she agreed with him she would say, “Yes (which really sounded like “chess” with her thick accent) Mijito.” I’ve been thinking about that and hearing her say it all day today!

My Tía Olga and Tío Rey and their two daughters came up to Michigan for my Dad’s funeral. Sean and I had just moved into our second apartment three weeks earlier and I gave it to them to stay in while Sean and I stayed with my Mom. My Tía sent up a crocheted Afghan to me shortly after they left as a, “Thank you.” It is absolutely beautiful with an intricate design on it, one that I’ve never seen before. It’s purple, to match my bedspread.

Once the flowers were ordered and after we talked extensively about our time in Texas, my Mom called the florist once I received confirmation via email. She wanted to know how big the spray was that we ordered. Once we were given the dimensions, I looked at my Mom and told her that it was pretty big!

My Mom responded simply with, “Everything‘s big in Texas!” My Tía was the first person to tell us that when my brothers and I saw a 3 L bottle of pop at H.E.B. for the first time. My family would constantly say those four words to each other whenever we spoke of Texas or went down there as a family. I am happy that she is with my Dad now!

“Girl”

My Mom called me this morning to tell me that she woke up late. I heard Sean rustling around getting ready for school and asked him if he could get me out of bed. He agreed and then continued getting ready for school. My body spasmed and I let out a loud, involuntary grunt. He came to my room when he heard this and told me that it sounded like I had to get out of bed!

With Sean at school, my Mom finally showed up. She opened the door and walked in and once I turned around, she greeted me by saying, “Good Morning beautiful girl!” I immediately thought of this song:

My Mom has always called me, “Girl.” I remember I tried to change that once when I was about 30. She would always call me, “Little girl.” And I would respond with, “ I’m a woman.” That didn’t change the fact that she ALWAYS called me a little girl. I changed my strategy and I started to call her, “Lady.”

She told me one day, “Don’t call me lady, little girl!” I responded with, “Don’t call me little girl, lady!” and we both burst out laughing! I just understood that she will ALWAYS call me, “Little girl” because I AM her ONLY little girl.

It probably was about a five or six years ago when she was at my school to pick me up. I wasn’t driving even back then. The staff I had just had a meeting and I wasn’t completely ready to go. My Mom addressed me with the normal, “Little girl” and I didn’t think anything of it until both of the social workers at my school started to laugh hysterically!

I didn’t really think anything of it because that is what my Mom always calls me but they have only known me as an a teacher and an adult. It wasn’t until then that I kind of thought that it must sound funny!

She STILL does it and I’m pretty sure she will ALWAYS do it. It doesn’t matter that I am close to 40. I don’t argue with her anymore and don’t even really notice it. I’m not sure why she edit in the, “Beautiful” part today but I think it’s probably because she knows I’ve been having a rough time lately! Especially with the weather getting warmer now because I had just awakened so I don’t think, “beautiful” was NOY accurate in how you would describe me!