Author: Jen Rios

I received this text yesterday from a friend:

I’ve known Benny since we had our first department! I called him Benny-Bear but he is saved in my phone as just Benny. He lives in Vegas now. He always reminded me of the lead singer of Kings of Leon and just because of that I need to add this song here because dig it:

So, yesterday, my Mom and I watched The Intern. My Mom told me about it and I remembered that I thought it sounded interesting when it first came out and I wanted to see it, so we watched it yesterday.

It is my custom now to watch movies two days in a row. The first time I see a movie I tend to miss a lot of things because my vision is not as as I would like it. That just comes with the territory now, after having MS for 23 years, and my Mom is not adversed to watching movies over and over again. That’s where I get it from!

During my second viewing, I noticed this?!:

The second time looking at him, he looked familiar, extremely familiar!!! I had to rack my brain a little bit but then I recognized him. He was in The Fault in our Stars, but that is not what I was thinking about! I looked him up when I thought that it was him back then. He IS who I thought he was!!! He is Nat from The Naked Brothers Band!!!

I am not ashamed to say at all that their album played in my car on loop for months! That was back when we lived in our second department Sean and I would watch The Naked Brothers Band all the time! It was on Nickelodeon and this was my favorite song:

My Mom could NOT believe that I listened to this song because he says ‘Aventually’ not ‘Eventually’ She couldn’t believe that because I was an English teacher! I told her it was ‘artistic freedom’ and it was fine.

This was them back in 2007 when we were still living at our second apartment:

I was really thinking that it was going to be Sara Bareilles songs here but then my soul was hurting so I have to put in some U2.

Ladies first:

But then I have to add this song because how she says ‘sugar’ reminds me of Beyoncé, talking about ‘sugar’ at the end of her new country song!:

I actually told my Mom what these songs mean to me and who they are about. I don’t think that she remembers or cares now:

A few days ago, I saw a video in my YouTube feed. It was super random, but I thought I would watch it. It was video of professional singers pranking the judges on The Voice. I just wanted to see who would be singing soI clicked on the video and I a man’s hands were playing the piano. It only took me a moment for me to realize who that man was, and what song he was playing!!!

I played this song, so much in our second apartment, and in the beginning years of living in our house and when I watched him sing it on The Voice, I began to cry!:

I actually called Sean a few days ago and told on myself! As I was telling him, he just began seeing the song just like James Blunt. I started laughing, and he told me that he does not have that song in his playlists at all but he told me that he still knows all of the words!!!

I remember that one of Sean’s friends in grade school knew that song, for the same reason that Sean knew it! I just told Sean, “A woman scorned…” I think after so many years, this song is cathartic for me, and it hurts so good so I don’t even feel bad about crying anymore…

I wrote yesterday, how this song popped into my head once I saw myself in the elevator mirror:

I was originally thinking this was a second department song, but it didn’t come out until I was living in my house! I was already teaching Reading! Sean was not a Selena Gomez fan! He was when we lived in our second apartment, because he was all about Wizards of Waverly Place!

It took me a minute, but, this is 100% Dodgeball!!! I heard this song so much because on Fridays the kids played dodgeball in their PE class! That’s why I know that song because my classroom was just off of the cafeteria/gym. retrospectively, that really wasn’t the best place for me to teach reading to below level students but that’s what we did.

Friday I had my doubleheader. It was a success, but I am not ready for what comes next! I had two appointments and I have two new return dates. One in May and one in June I told my Mom this morning, “I’m not ready for this.”

I spent yesterday recovering from Friday, but I needed to wear my contacts because I had to pillage. All three of my appointments were in the same building on Friday. I started out on the second floor and then took the elevator down to the lab, and then took the elevator back up to Internal Medicine.

I’ve been going to that office for years, I used to take Sean there for his pediatrician. This is the first time I can remember, taking the elevator, and actually facing the doors. I hadn’t seen myself in the mirror for years!!! Once the doors shut, I stared at myself and shock.

This song popped into my head when I was staring at myself, because I thought that, “I am NOT ready!”:

I have been chubby for my entire life! But once the doors shut, my coat was hanging off of me. I stared at myself in disbelief. Six times we were in the elevator, and six times, I was not okay with it and I was reminded that I am not ready for this!

I did not get weighed at Internal Medicine this time but I will do it in three months. I will need to buy a new coat next year. I’ve had that one since Sean was in high school! This time, Dr. Chamas, my internist, wants to see me again in three months. Wait. What?! Three months?! I have NEVER gone just three months between appointments.

But I think she is seeing all of my upcoming appointments and wants to talk to me about them. I will see my new doctor in May for genetic testing and I will also see my endocrinologist for the first time in May the week before that.

I have always wanted to be skinny, but not like this! I really am NOT ready for this…