Author: Jen Rios

A Confession

I feel that I need to tell on myself. This is a confession of sorts. Last Sunday, my Mom was putting medicine on Leia in the evening. I was still using my shortbread cookie Chapstick. I thought it was getting close to the end and I want to see how far I had left to go until I was finished. I pushed it all the way up and saw that it was not very much, probably about an inch and a half. I knew I would have that done in no time but then, I tried to Unwind the Chapstick and it did not move! I saw that it was A little bit shorter than the cap. I thought I could just put the cap on it:

I was being impatient and I should have just I waited. So once I put the cap back on, it clicked but I felt the chopsticks smash into the top of the cap. I pulled it off and the whole top pulled off of the plunger and I just had Chapstick in the cap. It was a mess! So much so that I knew I couldn’t do anything so I just got irritated and threw it away! I tried to add a picture of my winter chapstick pack now that it is completed for the next few winters. I am using the vanilla bean Chapstick until the weather breaks. It’s something to look forward to. that AND my birthday!

Middle/High School Jen

I have since stopped crying when I watch the Super Bowl halftime show and I have been having problems with my cable anyway so I just listened to Mary J on my Apple Music account:

I was processing mail so I wasn’t near my phone so it just played similar songs and I was back in middle school (high school for some of the songs). I really enjoyed being that young again! This one is from middle school basketball season:

I think I was a dramatic sophomore for this one but I still remembered all of the words even though I did not sing them, I sang them in my head:

I was older when this song came out and it was definitely one of my jams! I think I was already working at the mall then;

I was puzzled when I heard this song because I couldn’t understand why it was mixed in with songs from when I was young;

I was puzzled because I clearly remember singing this song at the top of my lungs when I lived in my second apartment and Sean‘s dad had taken them for the afternoon. I no longer can sing along but I remember them coming in as I was mid verse. Icouldn’t understand why she was in the playlist randomly:

But then I looked at my phone because I was turning the music off. Oh yeah, this is how I remember her looking Wayback in the day but she has been making music for so long now I know the older Alicia Keys.

Further proof that I am getting old! It’s just about birthday month and my birthday is only 12 days after the commencement of that so I will be 40 years old!?!

Just as GREAT…

It’s a #DirtyHairDontCare Day for me AGAIN but last night, we listened to Journey as we washed my legs and I clearly remember watching this video laying on my Parents’ living room floor back when we had green carpet. I watched the video today and it was just GREAT as I remember it!

28-year-old Jen

I have always loved having a routine. I remember growing up that both my Mom and my brother thought it was strange that I was okay being alone. My brother asked me once, “What are do you do all the time in your room?” My answer was simple. “Read.” But now that I have had MS for 21+ years, unfortunately, reading is NOT that easy anymore.

I always think about that horrible doctor who told me that I had MS and the fact that she told me that like this`, “Look, you have MS, you are going to go blind, and then you are going to die” before spinning her on her heel and leaving. I HATE that this is 100% true. My eyes ARE failing but I am not blind… yet. It is really crazy how much I have to modify or discontinue doing things that I used to enjoy. I loved to, “puzzle!” But now, my hand dexterity and hand-eye coordination do not allow me to do that. Now enter technology. I CAN “Puzzle” with my Puzzling app:

I need to, “Puzzle” on my phone because I usually, “Puzzle” after I have taken my contacts out for the evening and my Mom is taking a nap. This particular puzzle took two days to complete! That’s a long time for me! But, it is complete now.

I heard this song as I was, “Puzzling” two days ago. But after a while, I realize that I need to concentrate a lot while completing this puzzle so I finally completed it yesterday in silence. When I heard it, it’s one of my jams and it was from back when I was still teaching. This came out in 2010 and that’s when I got my masters degree so I was the Reading Specialist. I remember liking it because I liked the band but that seriously, it’s insane to do! I was well past thinking that a drunk guy professing his love for me what’s something good. Even back when I was 28:

My Super Bowl Shirt Has Arrived!!!

I was so excited to hear the ding on my phone that let me know that my Super Bowl 56 shirt had arrived! I am so excited because I wanted my man to win and he and his team did it like I knew he always could!!! My mom and I laughed as she took pictures to document my new shirt!!!

#RandomPeeWeeFootballMemories

I had a crystal clear memory as I was drinking my lunch pro Tien shake today. I was instantly reminded of sitting in the stands at Dearborn high school and hearing this song and seeing my son and all of his friends dancing to it in the end zone after they had scored:

I also remember hearing the opening with guitar of this song and then it was interrupted with the announcer. I told my brother that I knew what song it was and I told him it was U2 and once the announcer stops talking, the song continued and I was correct!

You have to love random peewee football memories!

STILL Noticing New Things…

I watched the halftime show and the end of the game AGAIN today! I think it’s crazy that the sixth time watching this game And the seventh time that I have watched the halftime show that I am STILL noticing new things! At the end of the game, just before the defense takes the field for the final time, I heard this song as I watched Matthew Stafford sitting on the bench:

A Trifecta

I posted this picture on my blog post yesterday. I’m pretty sure that I was 28 years old. Furthermore, I think this was the concert when we saw Maroon 5, The Script, and Train. We went to a different show the following year and there we saw Gavin DeGraw, The Script, and Train. I love this picture!!!

I thought about this picture more so when I started completing a puzzle on my puzzle app last night. I had written a post about those maybe a couple weeks ago and because I was using my iPad to edit things, my lack of hand control and dexterity caused me to permanently delete it. I will add a similar post to that one I posted yesterday, today just because I want to hear that Carrie Underwood song!:


I have completed maybe five or six more puzzles but it takes a long time to scroll through all of my completed puzzles but I’m still doing it and it keeps me calm. I have completed 150+ puzzles by now.

I posted this picture of my cousinT, Shannon and me at the concert because as I was completing my puzzles last night, I did not hear a Carrie Underwood song after my obligatory Sara Bareilles song completed. I kind of liked that I heard it when I did but I wish I would have heard it before when I was younger. Now, as I am just about 40 years old, everything is already undone and I handle stuff on my own now!:

But I did not hear Carrie Underwood yesterday, I heard this song from The Script which is one of my faves and I saw them sing it live when we saw them in concert:

So, as I am completing puzzles, I do about two or three a night, the music kept playing and it went from a song from The Script to a song by Gavin DeGraw which I LOVE and lastly, I finished flossing my teeth to a Maroon 5 song. That further gave me ANOTHER reason to post that picture of my cousinT and me!!!

#MyGirlL: Intent


I have a routine, almost ritualistic. It takes me a LONG time to wake up in the morning so I sit in my chair kind of in a stupor for a while. I drink my water and take my vitamins each morning as well during this time as I try to wake up.

At this point in my disease, I have the first two levels of dysarthria and I see a Speech Pathologist regarding that. Often times, now, I will choke on water, anything I’m eating, for most times I choke on nothing. That’s what I did this morning! Actually, I had just taken a vitamin and the little bit of water I used to swallow it kind of made me choke.

My Mom and Sean know that this happens and they will just let me cough it out and wait for my instructions for what they should do next. So this morning, I tried adjusting my chair because I was kind of reclined and I kept moving my chair as I was coughing and I was not getting a clear breath in. I started to get a little nervous.

I beeped the horn on my chair and my Mom came to the living room and I put my hands out because I needed her to pull me forward so my lungs would open so I could get air. My Mom came to me and I put my hands out in front of me as I was still pitifully coughing and she pulled my arms at the same time that Leia put her front paws on my left arm rest.

She always comes to my aid when I’m having a problem even though she cannot do anything, it’s her intent that makes me smile. Today was no different and once my throat was clear, I petted her right side and underneath her chin as she leaned her head on my wheelchair armrest so I was able to hug to her. My sweet girl!

Before… Addendum OR Write One Thing, Think Another

So, yesterday was the fifth time I have watched the Super Bowl halftime show and yes, I cried AGAIN! Yesterday, I wrote about it and I was in a different mindset and I was looking forward to watch the halftime show that I already knew what was going to happen. I have decided that my favorite part is when Dr. Dre is playing the piano and toward the end of his playing; he smiles. That smile kind of reminds me of my Dad because my Dad had similar lips to Dr. Dre. So as I was reading my blog post, I was thinking like this because I loved the halftime show!:



so, as I was writing about the halftime show, I had this song playing over and over again in my head. It didn’t fit with what I was writing so I couldn’t add it to my post but I figured if I added an addendum, then I can tell you all what I was thinking yesterday as I was writing. I think they performed this song when I saw them with my cousinT, Shannon Over a decade ago now: