A Knot

As a pillaged today, I thought of a memory of my Dad when I was probably in seventh grade? Probably because tomorrow is Father’s Day.

Emails come to me all the time from Hallmark. They have been sending Father’s Day emails for a while and I remember I looked at it and it asked if I did not want to receive them. I thought that was really kind so I checked the box.

The emails continued to come after I checked the box so there’s some kind of glitch. Father’s Day will be over for this year. Maybe they’ll fix the glitch by next year. I have had 20 Father’s Days without my Dad.

It was the 90s and it was cool to wear combat boots as a fashion statement. I remember that my Mom took me to Fairlane mall to pick them out. Here’s the memory I have about my Dad:

The green carpet was in full effect then in my living room and my Dad was sitting in his chair when my Mom and I came home.

I remember that I was so excited to show him and I had a big box even though my feet are small. He gave me a tip as I pulled my boots out of the box. He told me to pull the laces out and then to keep the ends of the laces in my hand and then fold the laces in half. Then he told me to tie a knot in the middle of the lace.

Then he told me to lace my boots and put them on. As I did that, He told me that knot should be between the first eyelet of my laces. He said that way I will always have enough lace on either side of my boot when I lace them up.

That totally makes sense to me and he probably learned that in the army. I have no idea why I thought of that memory today. I haven’t thought about that so long. Tomorrow is just another day for me. I will still miss my Dad and they no celebrating tomorrow for me.

Tethered.

I remember when I was teaching in my last classroom. It was a converted closet and I taught 15 kids at a time for Read 180 and six kids at a time for Read Natually.

The room was small and my seating for my students consisted of two perpendicular folding tables. They were blue.I know, I have put pictures of it on my blog before but I was thinking about that because I always had a kid who would get in trouble sit next to me on my right.

I would tell them the first day of class then I am going to drop my pen a lot and I will ask them to pick it up for me often. I dropped my pen a lot back then, but that was a decade ago.

Fast forward a decade, and I cannot control my hands EVEN more. I can’t even write anymore.

I ordered these for my Mom because she has been leaving her phone places, like the grocery store:

I never thought that I would use them, but my hand control has gotten even worse and I drop my phone all the time. My Mom uses the gray one and now I am tethered to the black one. I know that it is for the best, but this disease progression has my head spinning!!!

Confortable.

So, I’m sitting comfortably in my chair not quite sure how I feel. I started to read this story on Facebook:

In 2006, Denise Richards left her marriage to Charlie Sheen. She walked away with her two young daughters and the heavy task of rebuilding her life from scratch.

Her decision to leave came after facing extreme chaos at home, including Charlie’s severe struggles with drug addiction and explosive verbal behavior. Court documents later revealed that his compulsive gambling and threats to her safety had made the environment completely toxic for a young family.

Realizing she could not let her daughters grow up around such instability, she filed for a restraining order and chose to walk away permanently.

For most people, raising two children alone after such a difficult public breakup would be more than enough to handle.

But her story was just beginning.

A few years later in 2011, Denise decided to adopt a baby girl. The little girl had significant health challenges that required extra care and attention. Denise welcomed her with open arms, turning her family of three into a family of four. She committed herself fully to her new daughter’s needs.

Then, life threw another major curveball. Charlie Sheen’s twin boys were removed from their mother’s custody by social services. The two toddlers suddenly needed a safe, stable place to live where they could just be kids. They needed a real home immediately.

Denise did not hesitate for a second. She opened her doors to them.

There were no legal rules forcing her to take the boys. The court did not order her to do it, and nobody expected her to step up. She was the ex-wife, not their mother. But Denise saw two innocent children who desperately needed help, and she chose to be the person who helped them.

Suddenly, Denise was taking care of five children. Three were her own daughters, and two were her ex-husband’s sons from another relationship. She raised all of them with the exact same love, attention, and dedication. She did not treat the boys any differently than her own girls.

When people asked her why she took on such a massive responsibility, her answer was very simple. She said she just did what any mother would do because the boys needed someone.

She did not make a big announcement to the media. She did not use the situation to get positive publicity or to make herself look like a hero. She did not complain about what she had to give up to make room for two more kids. Instead, she just showed up for them every single day.

In Hollywood, celebrities usually love attention. Denise chose to focus her attention on children who were going through a very hard time. Eventually, the news reporters stopped talking about the story, but Denise kept doing the hard work behind closed doors.

She did not do it for praise or awards. She did it because those children needed stability, protection, and unconditional love. When they had nowhere else to go, Denise was there for them.

True mothers do not just give life, they protect it, heal it, and expand the borders of their hearts to make sure no child is left behind. Denise Richards proved that blood does not make a family, unconditional love does, and her beautiful children grew up knowing they always had a safe harbor in her arms.

We Are Human Angels
Authors
Awakening the Human Spirit

We are the authors of ‘We Are Human Angels,’ the book that has spread a new vision of the human experience and has been spontaneously translated into 14 languages by readers.

We hope our writing sparks something in you!

familyfirst #motherhood #inspiration #kindness #parenting

I don’t really care about Charlie Sheen or Denise Richard, but my tears came easily as I read this story. I think that’s a little relief for me. We are still waiting for my motors to be repaired, but at least I can be a little more comfortable as we wait.

Chuckle

So, Dujuan came by today. He got right to work as soon as he came into my house. My Mom asked him how many years he works on a week and he told her that he couldn’t tell her. I stayed seated in my chair as he worked. He completely knew what he was doing. He went back-and-forth from the back of my chair to touching things on my joystick.

He messed with the stuff in the back of my chair, and then he came to touch the joystick and as he touched it, I could feel my chair move. I could feel my face change and he chuckled a little bit. It was a cute chuckle because he’s a pretty big guy. He had 6’1 (because my mom asked him) And he has salt in his goatee. I will never forget that chuckle.

As he was leaving, he told us that he would let us know about the motors there are on order. So, my legs are elevated, and my butt is relaxed. I kind of want to cry, but I feel so good that I can’t. I’m sure that I will later and I’m not worried about that.

Compressed

I feel compressed! My Mom had a hard time putting my socks on today and I reminded her that it’s hot outside, my legs are swollen, and these are new socks!

I thought of this scene in this movie because I have seen it since I was a child:

Dujuan is coming on Monday, but I was able to get two pair of toe-less compression socks from the generous donations from my GoFundMe account

As I pillaged, I had to pause occasionally to take a breath because my legs feel completely compressed! It will get better, but it’s tight right now!!!

Swollen

My Mom took this picture a couple days ago:

This picture was taken after a day wearing my socks. It does not hurt, but it does not look good at all!!!

That’s what happens when you cannot elevate your legs like you have been for the past nine years. Dujuan the tech is coming on Monday. Maybe he has some good news for us! I highly doubt it but we will see.

These toe-less socks are working out for me. I see to the vascular surgeon on June 26. I’m probably going to go without my chair working like I did last month.

Unable.

Today was a rough one. I had forgotten how unable I am in the heat! I was smacked in the face with that realization today. I cried. It’s going to be a long summer and there’s nothing I can do about it!!! I just forgot how unable I am in the heat. After 25 years, you think I would know this, but I was surprised today. Sadly…

17 Days

It has been 17 days since my wheelchair has stopped responding. Well, I can move it backward and forward, but I can’t extend my legs or give my back some relief. 17 days! That’s a lot! It’s 17 days and not so much ann end in sight. Dujuan is coming on Monday so maybe something will happen but I’m really not banking on it.

My Mom got a text saying that the parts ordering is on step four of six. That might be a good thing and maybe we could take my chair in next week as I had planned. But, I had a development today…

My Mom had to leave for a bit and I was seated in my wheelchair. I had my Medical Guardian device on which is what I wear anytime I am home alone even for a short while. You can never be too sure! Sitting in my broken wheelchair is quite uncomfortable because I cannot recline at all. It has been 17 days?!

I was sitting in my chair and listening to the Catechism in a Year when I slipped. I slipped forward, so much so that my butt was almost off of the seat, and the belt was just under my armpits. It did not feel good at all!!! I had just called my Mom and told her that I had slipped a little bit. I was a little slouched. I told her that before I got really slouched annd almost off the chair!

At that moment, I pressed the button on my Guardian Medical device. Avery answered and he asked if I needed help. I have had this device for about six or seven years. I have never had to admit that I needed help Like this. I had called before when we were at the dentist in the parking lot and the wheels on my wheelchair got messed up on the ramp. I also called when my wheelchair got stuck on the porch.

My Mom called 911 when I slipped in the bathroom and I was wedged between the toilet and the tub. I cried then, but I did not call them. My Mom did. Well, today, I was home alone and I had to call them. I told Avery that sometimes they take 10 minutes to get here and he offered to stay on the line with me until they get here. I told him that wasn’t necessary and he told me to call them back if they are not at my house in five minutes.

I felt surprisingly calm throughout this whole thing, but when I heard the firetrucks coming, I began to cry a little bit. I heard the Alanis Morissette in my head as I heard the firetruck coming:

Jared and Keith cut me up in two shakes and they loved Leia up like crazy! Jared said that they both are dog people! Jared had all the information on the iPad and I had to sign. I have never had to do that before. My Mom usually does that.

A Whole Lot

I remember when I was an undergrad in college and I was six months pregnant. I had just gone to the neural ophthalmologist for the first time and I had optic neuritis. I thought that was very strange because I was told that MS is dormant when you are pregnant.

I was in an art history class and the prof was talking about a painting that we were going to talk about in the next class. She said that anyone with issues of seeing in different colors should stay after class so she would preview the painting with whomever stayed.

There’s one other guy with me and she showed us a painting of a tree that had orange and blue in it. I remember that I could see it so I told her that I would be okay and that was it. She was talking to that guy when I left.

I thought about this 25 year old memory because 25 years in, my vision is changing and apparently is my taste. I remember when I saw Pentecost with the Virtual Front Pew for the first time in 2018 and Fr. Mike’s vestment was a beautiful deep red. I just saw it a couple weeks ago and I think it’s tomato red now. I know That he didn’t change investments just the way I see it changed. That got me thinking…

It really bothers me that I cannot smell/taste the cherry in my Wild Cherry chapstick. I am going to use all four tubes because I’m not going to waste it and it tastes all right just not like cherries.

I’m thinking about that because I don’t want to think about my broken chair. My Mom tried turning it on when we were done with our routine and it did not turn on so I transferred to my manual chair and then to my power chair because it has a headrest which I need now. Thank God that it turned on and Dujuan called and he will be here on Monday between 9 and 10 am.

My Mom and I were talking, and if the chair is not in better shape after he leaves, I will cancel my van rentals and my doctors appointment. I will tell Christina that I will get my face waxed in July. I want to spend June holed up in my house.

This is a one month when I can just do that with my appointments. Dr. Chamas told me that my ultrasound was normal for vascular surgery and we just want to talk to the doctor about my toes (Those are NOT normal). So if I can’t go, I will reschedule it at some other day in the future.

Have I told you that my body hurts and it has been hurting since May 24 when my chair went down? Well, it does!!! A whole lot!!!