Month: January 2019

8:46

Yesterday morning, I opened my eyes and felt like I had gotten some good sleep the night before and decided I was going to shift slightly and then get some more sleep. That slight shift caused my knee to pop out. I grabbed my phone and called my Mom. It was 8:46 am. My Nom came over and grabbed my ankle and put her hand on the inside of my knee which is what it takes to pop it back in. Only, my knee did NOT pop back in!

She continued to move my leg around trying to get it to catch but it did not happen. I was in excruciating pain! She called my brother so that I could lay in the backseat of his SUV and he would take me to the hospital. He got here and they transferred me to my manual chair to go to the hospital but I was in so much pain that they stopped and called an ambulance instead.

I couldn’t believe this was happening as explained to Lee in the back of the ambulance the history of my right knee and how it was feeling right now. Our conversation ended as we pulled up to the emergency room and I told him that all I wanted do today was watch some football!

Once in the emergency room as the intake nurse was entering my information into the computer two nurses were getting my vitals and taking my pants and right compression sock off for an x-ray. My speech begin to slur as my stress level rose. The doctor at the local emergency room in Deerborn told me that my x-ray showed that the bones were in line and it looked OK. She was planning on sending me home. Given the amount of extreme pain I was still in, I could not go home feeling this way!

The woman came to our our “room“ who got my pants off once I arrived to talk about discharge but my Mom explained the situation. She completely understood and was going to have an ambulance take us downtown to the emergency room where they had an orthopedic team and could do the MRI today.

After a while, the EMS team came so that is ambulance ride #2. They were going to take me downtown to the ER. Mike rode in the back with me. We discussed football after I gave him all the information regarding past surgeries and my right knee. Even though he was a Spartan, we chose all four of the same teams for this weekend. My speech began to calm down a little bit because I relaxed as we talked about football.

The triage resident, Dr. Washington, explained to my Mom and me that there was NOT an orthopedic team there (only orthopedists on call) and I could NOT get an MRI today. He did not see anything emergent in my case but still wanted to get another x-ray though. When he looked at my knee, he asked about my ACL scar and I told him that Dr. Anderson had done it in 2000 when he worked at Henry Ford. That was the ER I was at. He did not know Dr. Anderson but he had heard of him. Dr. Anderson no longer works there but is the Lions’ doctor. I told him that Dr. Frush performed my meniscus repair at the same time he was the Pistons’ doctor. I told him that my knee is famous!

Dr. Washington had a Michigan lanyard around his neck that I commented on when he first came in. I found myself relaxing and my speech getting better. I was glad that he ordered another x-ray because my knee was still KILLING me! Before he left, he told me to follow up and get an MRI in clinic.

When I was taken back into the ER, I could feel my throat tightening and it getting more difficult to speak. Anyone who came into my room, I explained that I was not drunk or on drugs but that I had MS so I could not speak well because I was stressed. My brain was working a lot faster than my mouth was able to communicate. My Mom also helped me speak to the doctors.

The very pregnant doctor in the ER reiterated the fact that I need to follow up and get an MRI just like Dr. Washington had said. Because I was still in so much pain, I got a ride home again from the hospital. Before yesterday, I think I was only in an ambulance one other time but now I was in an ambulance three times in one day! And two of those times, I didn’t even have pants on!

I woke up this morning at 8:50 am. It was 24 hours and four minutes that my knee was KILLING me! My speech is NOT much better today either and tomorrow I will call Dr. Moore’s office first thing in the morning! As for Mike and my football teams, we were two for four. 50%. That’s still an. “F.” My knee hurts so much and it took FOREVER for me to write this post because my speech is STILL wonky!

“Daddy”

Alright so, I made a playlist for my Mom on my Apple Music account and I’ve been wanting to write a blog post about that because we listen to it all the time as we get me ready for the day. Buut I can’t seem to figure out the words to write but I hope to soon. Today, as I was going to put her play list on, I showed her how to navigate my phone to find it and clicked on the playlist button and scrolled through all my playlists (because I have a lot!)

As I was scrolling and showing her my phone, she saw the playlist that is titled, “Daddy” and asked what that was and I told her, she wanted to listen to it. It is a mix that I fall asleep to when I really miss my Dad. I always end up crying and today was no different! They are all really good songs that remind me of my Dad. Toward the end of the playlist, there are a couple songs that are specific to me and how I felt after my Dad had passed. I explained the songs to my Mom as we listened. I’m sure I have written about them before.

There are a couple of songs that remind me of my Mom that we listened to when we were together after my Dad passed. I am reminded of her smiling and giggling and being reminded of the love she and my Dad shared. I really don’t ask her about why because I am NOT, “Grown-up” enough to hear any of that regarding my parents but these two songs are on the playlist. My Mom smiled when she heard the beginning of the songs and then started to giggle.

I don’t ask about the meanings of the songs but I enjoy seeing her smile like she does and I like hearing her let oyt a little giggle.



The playlist only has about 10 songs and we let it play through twice. It made me cry and miss my Dad. The songs were my Dad’s songs and these two reminded me of my Mom being reminded of my Dad and I like that too!

ALMOST Forgotten Tune #41

I am not ashamed that I am a bandwagoner! That’s me every post season for football! Last night, Sean and I watched the championship game between Clemson and Alabama. That was some really good football! I told Sean that I would to get a sweatshirt off whatever team wins because I am such a bandwagoner and I need a new sweatshirt.

When halftime started, I surprisingly started to get tired so I started to get ready for bed and was not in the living room to watch Imagine Dragons performing for the halftime show. Hearing that guy’s voice, I could not stop thinking about 12-year-old Sean and me singing. (Back when he was young enough to be OK with seeing a song with his mom) even though they did not perform this song because it’s so old.

I have a memory of being at the movies and parking really far away because there was no disabled spots and singing this song with the radio with him as I got into the car. I also remember hearing this at Barwis which just makes me miss that place even more!

I ended up NOT watching the whole game but after I found out the final score, being true to my bandwagoner-ness, I looked for a Clemson sweatshirt to get. However, the only one I really liked (because it was purple) only had a size 4Xs available so I decided NOT to get one but the Super Bowl IS coming!

REALLY?!… really?…

Last night, in the middle of the night, my phone fell off of my bed and onto the floor. I heard it kind of skid away from the bed. I went back to sleep because it was dark outside. It wasn’t until my knee popped out that I called Sean because it hurt. It was light outside and I felt kind of rested so I didn’t think it was too early. Surprisingly, he answered and came over to my room. I had him get my phone first and found out that it was 8:10 in the morning.

He was able to pop my knee back in and it gave me a loud, “Pop” and then he went back to sleep. Obviously, being awakened with my knee popping out of its socket hurts a whole lot and I didn’t fall back to sleep. I texted my Mom to tell her that I was awake and then I watched YouTube videos until she texted back. She texted me back at 9:17 and told me she was on her way soon. Just after I got that text, I felt my knee slip out again. REALLY?!… really? I can’t believe that my knee is STILL popping out! I wish I knew how to prevent it because then I would but my leg remained bent in that strange position until my Mom came to my house this morning. It didn’t feel good but it did not hurt as badly as it did when it popped out the first time this morning!

When she got here, it took her a little while but she was able to pop my knee back in. Needless to say, my knee ached especially more all day! It’s so frustrating that this STILL happens! The other day, I could not relax enough to fall asleep because I was nervous about my knee popping out. I can’t believe that I have to deal with this now!!!

Laughter

I had a memory of my Dad a few days ago and I so appreciated thinking about it! Parts of the memory were very vivid and caused me to sing the opening bars to the refrain of this song over and over again! It made my Mom kind of roll her eyes every time I started to sing it. This song could not just be sung, I HAD to belt it out!

The memory I had is of my Dad sitting in his chair in my parents’ living room and flipping through the channels with the remote control. I remember my Mom standing by the doorway to the dining room and I must’ve been sitting on the couch against the wall that the kitchen is on the other side.

I do not know what channel he was watching but it was just a clip of Linda Rodstadt singing, “You’re no good” to a men’s prison. She was wearing a long dress and the moment she started to sing the refrain, the men jumped to their feet and roared! The part of this memory that is most vivid in my mind is my Dad laughing!

I remember it being funny that she was singing, “You’re no good” to a crowd full of men in prison but the funniest thing about that memory was hearing my Dad’s laughter! My dad had a really good, hearty laugh but he rarely laughed. I love that memory so much because I can hear my Dad’s laughter! I haven’t heard that in SO long!

I thought I could easily find that video on YouTube but I coyldn’t. The closest thing I found was this one which is in a men’s prison but it’s not the same video because I remember her being on a stage that looked similar to my high school and the inmates were in folding chairs in a large room.


I’ve been missing my Dad a whole lot lately and I wish I could find that video from the late 80s or early 90s! Since I can’t, the memory of his laughter will have to suffice and it makes me smile!

5:27

My knee popped out this morning at 5:27 AM as I laid on my left side. It really sucks to be sound asleep and to be awakened by your knee sliding out of it socket. I texted my Mom 11 minutes later to help by popping it back in. It took a little while for her to get to my house and my knee burned as she tried popping it back in.

My Mom always says that she’s not sure if it’s popping in until she hears, feels, and sees the, “Click” back in. I don’t think I will ever get used to it popping out or even how it feels to get popped back in. My mom got me out of bed at that point because laying flat was getting uncomfortable. It was early and I was tired but as a wheeled into my living room, I thought of Dave, the guy from Binson’s.

The day that I got fitted for my chair in which I cried, He told me that the chair is not designed for people to sleep in; yet, people do. My Mom covered me with three blankets and I leaned my chair back. I was able to sleep for a few hours before I was awakened to the sound of my garbage disposal in the kitchen.

I think it really sucks that my day started so early because of my knee! I didn’t sleep well last night so that didn’t help either but my knee is really throbbing today!

Frozone

I made an appointment for Sean with an ophthalmologist a while ago because his right eye was looking a bit wonky! Today was NOT the day to leave my house but I, “grabbed my guts” and accompanied Sean as his sole responsible party. My Mom drove us to the doctor’s office because I knew Sean would not be able to drive home.

Sean hasn’t really been to the ophthalmologist and he had never gotten his eyes dilated before. I ALWAYS get my eyes dilated whenever I go to the eye doctor because I have optic neuritis in both eyes. We sat in a different waiting room for the doctor to come and get us. Sean was weirded out at how his vision was with his eyes dilated.

I suggested that he just close his eyes because he cannot focus on anything. He leaned forward and had me look at his eyes. I told him that they were not a full, “Black Hole Sun” but his pupils were larger than they normally are. I wasn’t sure that he would get that reference and I asked him if he knew what I was talking about. He did. He looked at me and said, “Soundgarden.” Well, yeah man!

The doctor said that his eyes looked really good but the nurse who dilated his eyes said that it was good that they have a record of the wonkiness in his right eye. When we were finished with the doctor, she handed Sean the roll of sunglasses and told us to wait in the waiting room for a bit for his eyes to calm down before we left.

Sean could not see anything and fumbled with the sunglasses roll in his hand. I grabbed them from him and pulled the sunglasses out of the paper roll and handed them to him. He thought that I broke them and I told him to just stick them to the side of his eyes. He was shocked that I knew what to do but like I said, I ALWAYS get my eyes dilated! He didn’t believe that I knew what I was talking about until he let go of the roll and it stuck to the sides of his face.

My Mom was almost to the doctor’s office when I told him that he needs to ask my Mom if he looks like a movie star because that is what my Dad asked her when he would get his eyes dilated and get the disposable sunglasses to wear out of the office.

Sean did not want to steal my Dad‘s line but he asked my mom anyway and she laughed. Her answer to his question was, “ABSOLUTELY.” Then she told Sean that my Dad just looked like a blind man but he looks like a movie star! I told him that he looked more like Frozone.

He even asked for his super suit just like him!

He tried to NOT wear the glasses when we got in the car but he learned the hard way that NOT wearing sunglasses when your eyes are dilated it is not a good idea! It was a good teachable moment. I told him that my eyes aren’t dilated but that is what it looks like when I don’t wear sunglasses outside. My eyes are so much more sensitive having optic neuritis in both of them.