The Briefest Moment

I was awakened three different times last night in excruciating pain. About 1 o’clock, 3 o’clock, and 5 o’clock. I was reminded of something I have not thought about for many, many years! I fell asleep for a little while after the last time I  awakened in pain  before I got up for the day.

The fact that was gnawing at me all morning was more of a feeling that I had so many years ago. I had not forgotten about it but I had not thought about it until I was awakened multiple times throughout the night in pain.

When you are going through a devastating break-up and you cry yourself to sleep (at least I did a long time ago).  When you awaken in the morning, there is the briefest moment where you open your eyes and feel rested from a good night’s sleep.  This is when you wipe the sleep from your eyes and almost smile at the new day that has dawned. It is just before you remember that your life is  seemingly in shambles.

I thought about that moment today and multiple times through the night. I do NOT have that moment.  When you have a break-up, sleep is a momentary reprieve from the heartache you were feeling during the day . Today, it was evident that I do NOT get reprieve.   The pain in my knee persists throughout the night. I am not sure if it is an MS thing or a knee pain thing but I can’t remember sleeping through the night.

All I know is that the brief moment of contentment you feel after you awaken when your heart is broken, I do NOT feel now! It is the pain in my knee that wakes me up. It is the pain in my knee that woke me up three times last night! Almost 2 years later, this is STILL going on!   I just would really like it to stop! Waking up so much last night is further proof that my knee is roont!