This was my thought for today in my Mottos for Success book. I thought it strange that now that I am ACTIVELY doing something to get myself able to walk again, I am having difficulty seeing it in my mind. I’ve been dreaming about walking for so long, even if my dream is something mundane like cleaning the bathroom (I miss getting on my hands and knees to scrub the tub now that I can’t do it anymore). I would say that 99% of my dreams are of me with an able body. I often dream about running marathons or that I am a ballet dancer.
I remember someone from my parish commenting on me being in a chair and to get out. That was about 4 years ago. I thought I will be stuck in this chair for the rest of my life – she just didn’t get it. Then 2 strangers the following year told me at work that they did not see me being in this chair forever. Students who I have taught over the years have told me that they have had dreams where I am walking up the stairs at school. I used to have visions of myself walking across the classroom when I used to teach English. It is strange that NOW, I am having difficulty seeing it. Even Dusty at Barwis Methods told me that he sees A LOT of people in wheelchairs (he works at the front desk) and there is something different about me.
I have to believe that it will happen. Like, REALLY believe! Even if I am having difficulty seeing it now, I have to work on believing. Lately, I haven’t had dreams that are as vivid to me the next morning. All my trainers at Barwis have told me it will happen and that they see it. I have faith in them; of this I am positive. I just have to get over the road block in my mind that I am having these days. When I do this, I will have the “reward greater than I can imagine.” In the meantime, I will work hard at training tonight.