Audacity

I had a really hard time falling asleep last night. My mind was full because I was thinking about going into labor 23 years ago tonight. I don’t think I ever really realized how emergent that whole situation was and it’s only now that it’s over and done with that I can finally think about it being kind of a big deal!!!

I was talking about it with my Mom and she remembers that day we went to the emergency room and I was admitted into the hospital. It was about 1 o’clock in the morning on November 1. I could not sleep that night because something was not right and I knew that probably at about 6 o’clock in the evening.

I remember calling St. Mary’s (that’s the hospital where I was supposed to have Sean; it was all set up) The woman I spoke to told me that I need to go downtown to Henry Ford because they have an NICU in case that is necessary because I was only 32 weeks.

I remember my Mom driving me downtown and taking me into the building at the emergency room entrance next to where the night security guard is. She left to park the car and I sat there in a wheelchair, super pregnant, and in pain.

After 23 years, I finally am thinking about that old security guard who looked at me and had the audacity to tell me, “You look too young to be having a baby!”

I didn’t say anything because I was in labor, back labor, but I did not know that until November 2. My Mom came in and grabbed the wheelchair and I told her about it as we got into the elevator. She told me that I should have told him, “I am 25 and my husband is deployed as if that is any of your business!” That would have been a good thing to say, but I didn’t feel well at all at the time.

Aghast

I talked to Sean today I and I reminded him that his birthday is coming up! He told me that now that he is older it doesn’t matter. I was completely aghast?!

I told him that I have crystal clear memories of that time!!! These memories are 23 years old and they get so much more vivid this close his birthday!!!

I will NEVER forget ANYTHING from that time!!! I forgot my lunch on Halloween when I worked at dfcu and the branch was SO SLOW and we were each given baskets of candy to put at our window.

We just traded candy amongst us tellers. I went into labor later tonight and I was incoherent all of November 1. Nurses kept asking me what day it was because I was so out of it. That’s where my mind is right now…

It’s about that Time

I woke up early this morning because my Mom had Physical Therapy for her finger. After my prayers were complete, I got to watch A LOT of Hallmark Christmas movies.

I’m totally bummed that I didn’t see Harvest Moon but next year I guess! I stopped watching Christmas Next Door (because I’ve seen it like ten times) to watch Hocus Pocus because the last time to see it is Friday. I’ll get one more in!!! (That was weird whiplash with the holidays though…

But then I went right back to Hallmark Christmas movies. I finally got to see all of Christmas Crashers. But, now that it’s Hallmark Christmas, it’s about that time for me to see Christmas commercials!!! I saw one and I really dig the song!!!

I don’t shop at Ultra and I don’t even wear make-up but this song is in my head!!!

Shocking

I think that my Mom took this picture two years ago. I know that she took it because I am laughing because that’s why I have smiled so big, but I don’t think I can smile that big even if I tried anymore. Additionally, my hair is so long!!!:

I never thought I would say that, because I never thought that my hair would be as short as it is now, but it is even shorter than it was in this picture. This picture popped up when we were leaving the house and going to the naturopath. After our excursion, I am still shocked at how big I was smiling and how long my hair was! it’s not that long anymore and that fact is shocking all by itself when I think about it for too long…

So Much More Difficult

It was ‘go time’ today and I got everything done. Yay. But man, it was so much more difficult!!! I am still trying to wrap my head around it right now. All I know is of October 28, 2023, I woke up with my hips burning, both of them! That was the day that I started using wedges every night to save my hips.

I realized then that my disease was progressing but I am not sure that I know how to handle what happened today at my doctor appointment and my subsequent haircut. My Mom had to put my coat on for me completely. Like I was a child. It was really cold for me today and I wore my winter coat and hat.

But, tomorrow, after my knee x-ray, we are going to the Cider Mill!!! I have been looking forward to this since last year and it WON’T rain tomorrow like last year…

So that Explains It!

I woke up this morning, knowing that I was going to pillage today. I got so concerned when I cried multiple times while getting ready today. It was the ugly face crying that I was doing. I felt it. But then it started raining so hard for about 10 minutes. So that explains it! That’s why I was crying! Disease progression ain’t no joke and that’s what’s going on right now. ‘Go time’ is on Wednesday.

A Lot.

My Mom asked me a couple days ago how many times I put my chapstick on. I shrugged and told her that I didn’t know. A lot.

So, I counted how many times I put it on during the day. The answer is 12. I smear chapstick on my lips 12 times a day! But each application, I have to smear it on three times on each slip. So I guess it’s a lot!!!

Unfortunate

It took me over an hour to pillage today. I’m going back to my naturopath on October 16th. For the past three months that I’ve gone to see Dr. Clark, he changes my supplements each time. He’s probably going to do that on the 16th as well.

Today was the second time I used my Pumpkin Spice chapstick this Fall. I think I am most comfortable in the Fall. It will get too cold too soon, and that will be unfortunate!