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This afternoon, my Mom tended to my left foot because last night she tended to my right foot because the bandage got a little bit loose. Sonya It’s coming on Friday to change them again. Today, as she was changing my bandage and washing my left foot. She told me, regarding my feet, that all of this is exhausting and I completely agreed with her!!!

But, there is another thing going on as well! This year has finally become a problem. When I worked, I washed my hair every day with the exception of the week that we had to stay in a hotel because our power was out for like eight days. It was then when I realized how I’ll-accommodating places are! We had to change hotels on a Wednesday or some thing and so I was unable to wash my hair Thursday morning. I remember sitting in the teachers lounge eating lunch and Mr. Cooper asked me how it is going without power. I looked at him and pointed to my head and said, “This hair, is NOT clean!” I remember that he laughed but it really bothered me because I ALWAYS have a clean scalp!

But now, I no longer work and I am pretty much homebound. 21 years of MS has been difficult but now I have to make concessions. It is so exhausting just existing. With that being said, this is how it is now:

I have figured it out that I wash my hair ONLY when I am leaving the house! I NEVER thought that washing my hair would be as difficult as it is and I NEVER thought I would be okay with NOT washing it! Sonya is coming on Friday so I will wash my hair Thursday night. For now, it’s #DirtyHairDontCare but I secretly care but can do nothing about it because MS is just awful!!!

I knew that 21 of having MS would be difficult and it definitely has been a challenge thus far! I feel that Some of. my abilities are rapidly diminishing. One good thing about the government taking care of me in terms of medical supplies is that they’re really good at it! I took this picture last week as my Mom was trying to find a new place to put all the boxes we have been receiving from the medical supply place:

I am writing about this today because we received another box right now. The package we received today will be a change of dressing on my feet for Friday. My nurse, Sonya, is coming on Friday to change my dressings. My Mom told me that she will wait to change the dressings until after she sees Sonya do it so she will keep my bandages bulky when she changes them on Wednesday.

My Mom let me know that I need to change my “Butt sticker” Today and I started laughing hilariously! Let me explain:

The first thing Sonya did when she got to my house was to check my tailbone for signs of pressure. I did not have any which she said was good. When we went to the infectious disease clinic, Jen gave u these:

So, Jen gave us a whole bunch of these but I figured out that they are available on Amazon so I have to add one more monthly expense for my preventative health care. I know that these pressure sores on my feet hurt so terribly so I will definitely wear this, “Butt sticker” if it can prevent a sore like on my feet on my tailbone I will gladly pay for that added expense!!!

I had my optometrist appointment today. My eyes are still dilated and I am sitting in my living room wearing my sunglasses while my eyes calm down. I had a new optometrist today. Dr. Harris. He said that I have been with Henry Ford for a long time because I have and with Henry Ford vision center for a long time as well!

He looked at all the data that Amani (The Intake technician) collected before my appointment and he looked at all of the numbers and said that my vision is, “Poor.” Then he assessed my eyes. He told me that my retinas and my corneas look great but the optic neuritis has taken it’s toll! He asked when I was seeing Dr. Scarf again and I told him that I will see him in October.

He kept my prescription the same because he said that if he makes it any stronger That it might mess with my nearsighted vision. I guess it has started to happen that that horrible Doctor who told me I had MS told me I would go blind and it’s looking like it’s getting there but Dr. Harris told me these are NOT the worst ties he has seen! So there’s always that?! But when he was testing my vision, I was looking at the big E. That’s all I could see!

I got paid today, rented a van, and got my haircut and my eyebrows waxed. We are keeping the van for tomorrow for an optometrist appointment. Mixup with the wound care nurse coming today so instead, my Mom is washing my feet and it feels like holy Thursday again.

I have been amused all day at the fact that Becky, the wound care nurse so I was 16.

Even though we were both wearing masks, I saw the indentation of her draw drop when she found out that I am 40.

I thought about it today and it doesn’t matter if I look like I am 16 when I am really 40 because I feel like I am 95!!!

But, thinking about the excruciating pain I am in with my feet, and I’m not even wearing pants these days, it’s more like I am 120

Well, today is the day. I thought I had turned a corner a while ago but the pain persists but it’s not like the pain has stopped because it’s still pretty painful but today, The dead skin fell off.

Even though it has been painful to look at all of the pictures my Mom has sent to me, I had to stare at those skin pictures for a long time!!! It looks so disgusting with all that skin that needed to come off but they told us at the dermatologist office, as well as at the ER, NOT to pick!

Oh, I am a picker! I learned from the best! All of my older brothers are pickers and my Dad was too! That’s where we got it from! The sores have been so painful that I can’t even think about picking them! They still are painful but they look a whole lot better without all the peeling skin around it.

My Mom said they would eventually be just pink circles but I didn’t believe her, I couldn’t see it. I told her that today and she said in response, “I could!” It is going to take a lot longer to be totally done but I’m kind of encouraged by this progress but I couldn’t see it before.

My Mom took Leia to the vet today because if you recall, she was a ’sickie’ just like me. But, unlike me, she is all better! My Mom sent me this picture as she was waiting for the vet:

I laughed because she always lays on the floor at home! I take it that she does not like the cooling mat I got her. I think I will look for a different one.

When her vet got into the room, she let Leia lick her face! I think that’s gross! She talked with my Mom about the fact that Leia does not have a good allergy medicine yet. She took Leia off of her eyedrops and eardrops but kept her on the prednisone because she is gradually stepping down off of it right now.

As she checked Leah out, she said that ”She is such a sweet girl! ” I am really happy that she is feeling better! I just wish that I was also feeling better by now as well!

My feet hurt so badly! My Mom called the wound clinic to see if they can send a nurse out sooner than our appointment next month. This is killing me!!!

Okay, this song did NOT randomly pop up in my head but I have my Gavin DeGraw playlist on as my Mom is laying down and I am closing my eyes because we are both EXHAUSTED!!! I heard this song come on and I can see myself sitting at the dining room table in my first apartment! It’s such a jam and it’s spring time and I’m staring out of the doorwall at the greenery…:

I was living at our first apartment the very first time I took garbage out in my life! I was 23 years old and people who came over just took it out to the end of the parking lot when they left. I had a bag there for a while so I took it myself! But then Sean got older and we moved to a different apartment where it was just on the other side of our carport and he could do it. So I didn’t have to do it anymore!: