Category: Barwis Methods

We were running a bit late so my Mom pushed me into Barwis over to the black table.  Nick was kind of on the other side of the gym and told us to make out way over to the shuttle.  I looked back over my right shoulder and told my Mom that she HAD to see this.  She wheeled me over and it was just Nick getting me on to the shuttle.  I was excited and wondered where Nico was.  Nick got me on the shuttle and situated.  Just then, he came of the break room with his stuff.  He was leaving.  He asked when I would be there again.  I told him Tuesday and we wished each other a good weekend.

Nick had me bend my legs, he used his foot to pull me down toward the platform so my knees would bend just to start.  I started pushing with ease because there was no band on.  It was a little difficult to bend my legs but I was able to.  I did 10 of these.  I did them well and Nick was pleased.  He looked at me and encouraged me to do 10 more.  I did.  I felt really good and made me happy that my Mom was here to see me.  Megan walked by to see me do my second set of 20 with ease.  She looked at my legs and exclaimed, “There it is!” and smiled. I smiled too along with Nick.

I could feel my legs getting warm.  A good warm and that made me smile more.  Nick had me do another set.  Wow!  I haven’t felt productive like this in a LONG time!  For my last set, Nick had to pull me down a bit with his foot but I could straighten up nicely on my own.  He got me back into my chair and told me that I did a total of 80.  I didn’t even care that they were band-less because they felt SO good!

I asked my Mom what she thought on our way to my house.  She smiled, nodded, and said, “Good!”  I asked her if it looked like I could control my legs and she said, “Yes.”  Hearing that made me feel so good!  I was happy and my legs were warm and tired as I drove home.

So, I didn’t make it to Barwis on Tuesday.  By Thursday, it was obvious!  I got into Barwis by the tables and Nick asked if I wanted to go to the shuttle or work at the table.  I told him I wasted to go to the shuttle but I was tight.  Nick told me that he would stretch me out in my chair by the shuttle and when I was loose enough, I’d get on the shuttle.  My legs were PRETTY tight but Nick worked hard to get them loose enough to get on the shuttle.  It took some time but when they loosened up enough, Nick got me on it by himself.

He put 3 bands on so my legs could bend.  He had me push with all 3 bands on to activate my muscles.  I pushed, but I didn’t go anywhere.  I did this a few times and then Nick took a band off.  I kinda, almost moved with 2 bands a few times but I could actually do a complete extension with one.  It was a little difficult but I managed to do 2 sets of 20 with a rest in between.  This time, I rested with my knees bent to get a good stretch in.  For my next set, Nick wanted me to do something a little different.

He wanted me to extend all the way up; but on the way down, as I bent my knees, he had me pause and hold it halfway down before extending my legs fully.  With that pause, it would enable more muscle  fibers to activate before I extended my legs again.  As Nick told me this, he kind of interlocked the tips of his fingers in a succession.  Jesse told me that years ago with the same hand motion.  It makes even more sense now.  After each extension, on my way slowly down, Nick would tell me to, “Hold” and I would stop and my legs would shake and I would squeeze the handles at my sides as if doing that would make this easier.  I did 2 sets of 20 of these.

Then, Nick pulled that last band off and told me to, “Bust ’em out!”  So I tried to extend my legs quickly because there were NO bands.  The operative word here is “tried.”  I thought this would be easy but when I pushed I didn’t go anywhere.  So, I squeezed the handles and my eyes shut, grabbed my guts and slowly “busted them out.”  I got 10 and Nick encouraged me to do 5 more.  After I did that, I asked Nick how many that was.  He said 15. I looked at him and said, “I GOTTA make it 100!”  With the 40 regular and 40 with the “hold”  and 15 with no band that would only make 95.  So, I busted out 5 more.

Then, I was CRAZY TIRED.  My whole body felt like Jell-O!  Nick called the new intern, Austin over to help me back into my chair.  Austin was from Virginia and he had red hair.  He admitted to having a southern drawl.  I wanted to comment on that and his hair but I was SO DARN TIRED that I just remained quiet and let Nick put me back in my chair.  Austin will be at Barwis all summer so there’s time.  Once in my chair, I felt my arms go limp and my quads and hamstrings felt worked, warm, and SO tired.

I slept SO well and woke up to my legs aching.  It was a “marathon running” ache.  A dull throb in my quads and hamstrings.  I will take this feeling over the TV static feeling that has been the norm in my legs for the past 15 years.  I welcomed this feeling.  I haven’t felt anything like this in SO long!  I really dug it!

My Mom pushed me over to the tables and Nick asked me if I wanted to stretch or go to the shuttle.  Well, I wanted to go to the shuttle but Nick pointed out that I hadn’t stretched for two weeks.  He’s the professional so I completely agree with whatever he thinks.  He decided we would do table work.  I sat in my chair and he worked my legs.  As he loosened my legs and I got on the table, I began to see the importance of table work.

I hadn’t realized how tight or “static-y” my legs were, I guess I’ve just gotten used it; but slowly, they began to relax.  As Nick stretched my legs, slowly but surely they began to melt.  We did some PNFs and they further melted and almost felt normal.  I told Nick that I hadn’t banked on still not walking almost three years after coming to Barwis to which he replied simply, “It’s a process.”  I silently smiled with a nod.

He helped me into my car and I knew I would sleep well!  Once I was seated with my legs in the car, he told me to have a good night.  I smiled and told him that table work was a “Good Call” just before he closed the door.  On the way home, I smiled because my legs felt SO GOOD!  I closed my eyes because I realized that walking is my ultimate goal and how long that will take I’m not sure but in the meantime, table work is a “Good Call.”

So, I felt “off” on Thursday.  It was an unspoken agreement that we would do table work that day.  Nick loosened my legs and then he helped me transfer to the table.  Normally, when he eases me out of my chair and onto my feet, I can stand as he helps me swivel so I can sit onto the table.  But on this “off” Thursday, when he eased me out of my chair, my legs gave out, buckled, and bent.  Nick is quite strong and I was grateful for this fact at this point.  He caught me when my knees buckled and he got me onto the table anyway.

Once on the table, I was quiet.  We did PNFs and I think I did well.  The “Fit Class” was there as always so the music is a little bit different but I guess that is the norm now; either way, I don’t mind.  As I am quietly being stretched and doing some PNFs; Berlin came on.  “Take My Breath Away.”  Top Gun.  I never told Nick about this.  I’m sure I told Phil and Mike Rhoades, maybe even Mike Morfitt.  I told Nick how scandalous this movie was for me once I heard this song.  As you should know, I think I was like 6 or 7 and it was the first time I saw tongue kissing.  I had seen kissing on TV before but I didn’t know you were supposed to do that!  I was COMPLETELY scandalized!

The song continued and I didn’t think about Berlin as I heard it playing, rather I thought of Jessica Simpson.  It was summer and Sean was 2.  I had recently bought the Jessica Simpson CD and she covered this song.  I listened to her cover of this song often.  A vivid memory that came to mind was driving to my cousin’s house with my window down.  My hair was longer, past my shoulders but not quite to my elbows.  I stayed in this memory a long while, while the song played because it was SO vastly different from me now.

First of all, I was driving.  I can’t do that anymore.  I was driving with the window down with my hair blowing everywhere.   I can now longer handle wind blowing on me at all.  It’s the sensory thing and the fact that I can’t control my body temperature.  I would freeze!  I didn’t have sunglasses on.  Now, because I have Optic Neuritis in both eyes, I  wear sunglasses  EVERY TIME I am outside like I’m in the movie, Book of Eli. I tried to stay in this memory even after the song was over but it was just so different from my current situation.  It seemed like someone else’s life.  My time was up and I was grateful that my body felt somewhat normal or at least better than when I came… regardless of how fleeting this feeling will be… MS sucks!

I didn’t feel well at work and my legs were pretty stiff.  I told Nick that I was grading papers at the end of the day and I prayed for my legs to relax because they hurt so badly.  I attributed it to eating badly over the holiday weekend.  Nick grabbed my left foot and  asked me if that was it with a half-smile and I smiled back and said, “Well, I DO have MS.  If you didn’t know, that could be it too.”  We both kind of laughed and he told me that we’d take it “Nice ‘n’ Easy” today.  I liked the sound of that!  My body hurt!

Nick helped me get out of my chair and onto the table.  I couldn’t help him by completely standing up but I helped more than just my knees buckling and bending.  That made me feel better but my body still hurt.  Nick grabbed the wedge for me to lay my head and back on as I laid on my back.  He pulled my right leg out, bent it, and put my foot on his chest.  He told me to give my leg a, “little push.”  I dig these because I can activate my legs just about immediately and do these in quick succession.

As we continued doing this, my body still hurt but then u2 came on!  Vertigo.  I laughed and told Nick that I saw them on their Vertigo tour, “back when I was young and fun… in 2006!” We both laughed and I told him that tickets for the Dismantle tour were too expensive.  I didn’t see them because I had a mortgage at that point.  My body FINALLY began relaxing and I told Nick my “dream engagement” story.

I had to be 25 or 26 and someone at work just got engaged.  Unmarried teachers were in the lounge discussing their “dream engagement” places.  I think I may have come in quickly to make copies and someone asked me, “Hey Rios, where is your dream engagement?”  I didn’t look up and continued working at the copier and just simply said (without skipping a beat), “Ireland.  U2 concert.” It was silent for a moment before they all started laughing and someone said, “Not that you’ve ever thought about it!”  My copies were finished and I told them that I haven’t really but it’s ‘Go Big or Go Home” and left the lounge.  I laughed at that memory and told Nick that, “They have to have a “Going Home” tour!”

My legs REALLY began relaxing and then “Beautiful Day” came on.  The 3rd u2 song I’ve heard at Barwis! ??? I really dig this “Fit Class”!  It took almost three years but I was never going to suggest u2 while I worked out with high school groups or pro athletes.  My time was up and I appreciated that my body no longer hurt for now.  Not only did my body feel better, but I also heard some GREAT music!

I was pretty tight on Thursday.  My body has really been hurting lately.  Nick pulled a stool up to my chair and started to stretch me out.  He agreed that I was really tight.  Just recently I’ve been really thinking about my goals in coming to Barwis almost 3 years ago.  I thought this was going to be a relatively quick process to get me out of my chair and walking.  I had the desire and was willing to do the work.  I thought it would be easy.  I was SO wrong!!!

it has been more work than I could have imagined but all along the way, every single one of my trainers have believed in me and told me walking was possible.  Then there was Mike Rhoades.  In one conversation we had, I spoke of walking and in true form, it’s a charm that is exclusive to Michael Rhoades, he let me know that as I am doing all the work I do at Barwis Methods, my disease is progressing.  Well, that was a bummer!  Even though we both knew this fact was true, Michael (he hates it when I call him that) still worked tirelessly with me in spite of my disease worsening.

I told Nick this story as he was loosening up my legs.  I told him that even though it might be a losing battle (thanks Michael), even though my disease is constantly worsening, I come to Barwis because this work makes my body feel “less worse” and I NEED that!  Even though my legs were still a little tight, Nick got me on the table on my back.  He pulled the wedge over for me to lay on as he tried to loosen my legs up.  They were straight out like two sticks.

Nick slowly worked to bend my knees.  And then they gave out, one at a ime, and bent. Nick smiled and exclaimed that it was the, “Sweet Spot!”  He positioned my foot on his chest and told me that we would just chill there for a bit.  It felt good that my legs FINALLY relaxed and I chose NOT to think about it being fleeting because it COMPLETELY is but rather I chose to appreciate the fact that for right now, I feel “less worse.”

I got to Barwis and it was the day after Sean’s 8th grade graduation.  Hey, that’s a HUGE milestone for me! It was a weekday so I got as many of my family members who could come.  I cried!  I’m a sissy!  I know it!

Hopefully, it’s one of a couple of diplomas and a few degrees for Sean!  How official looking!, ya think?!

So, I’m happy that my boy is growing up but my legs were REALLY tight!  Nick loosened them up a bit and then got me onto the table.  This time, he said we would start on my stomach.  I hadn’t laid on my stomach in a while.  I remembered all the PNFs I would do while on my stomach.  Pulling my foot down to the table was A LOT easier than keeping it up as Nick pulled it down.  He pulled it down with such ease, it was as if he was peeling an orange.  I squeezed my eyes shut, gritted my teeth, and even grunted a bit but it wasn’t helping much!

It wasn’t until the second sets that I finally offered a bit of resistance!  But, I KNOW that it’s better LATE than NEVER!!!  It really stunk and was frustrating that I didn’t have a good showing!  My disease IS progressing and I hadn’t done these in a while.  (Thanks Michael for making mr know that!). Then, Nick worked on my quads.  He pulled my knee up off of the table and this time, I pulled it down.  Quickly and with force.  Nick was happy with this showing!  I rolled over onto my back and I was tired!

We did a little bit of stretching but Nick could see that I was tired.  Once in my car, I was too tired to even talk with my Mom.  I didn’t sleep but closed my eyes and leaned my head back.  I don’t even think we listened to music!  If we did, I didn’t hear it.

I wasn’t sure how I would do at Barwis, I think I felt kind of tight.  My Mom wheeled in and by the mirror not too far from the tables.  We were a little early and I looked over to the door to the gym from the reception desk area and I see Brock… WITH A BEARD!!!  I didn’t even recognize him at first.  He walked over and we talked for a bit.  He looked SO different!  He told me that he started growing it for the hockey playoffs but kept it after the Red Wings lost.  I told him that it looked really good!  I thought of Yukon Cornelius without the pointy mustache and it was darker.  It looked soft and it had curls in it.

When my time came, Nick loosened my legs up and then I got onto the table.  I was on my stomach again and was a little bit nervous how I would do.  I think Brock’s beard was good luck because I did VERY WELL with all the different PNFs!  As Nick walked around the table to switch legs, he asked how I was feeling because I was “Killin” it!”  I REALLY felt like I was!  I told him that, “First is the worst and second is the best!”  because I had such a bad showing the last time!

When I talked with Brock earlier, I told him about tearing my other hamstring and switching workout days from Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays to Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I told him that I WAS killin’ it on the shuttle but now I’m just getting stretched.  I told him “hills and valleys” and he nodded and said, “Sometimes you just need a rest.”  I thought of those words doing the PNFs on my stomach and thought that it IS a rest, but a “rest” with a twist because I WAS “Killin’ it!” which made me feel SO good!

We were running a little late for my time at Barwis and I contemplated cancelling but my Mom told me that “some stretch was better than NO stretch.”  She was completely correct so we ended up being about 20 minutes  late.  Nick and I get right into what is our normal routine and he loosened my legs before I got on the table.  I didn’t feel as tight as I have before but I still felt like I had MS.  (I don’t even remember what a “normal” body would feel like, it’s been so long).

Nick had me lay on my stomach again.  He said that my quads felt kind of tight so we were going to work my “hammies.” I was okay with that, whatever he thinks.  I laid on my stomach and propped myself on my elbows.  I placed my hands flat on the table and got ready to hear the first, “push” from Nick.  Well, it’s true.  Three’s a charm.  I did well with the PNFs.  I “pushed” and “pulled” when I was told to and that felt good!

When we were finished with the two sets on each leg, my time was up.  I rolled over onto my back and I was tired but my legs felt loose.  They were warm and relaxed.  I kept my head on the table and waited a moment and took a deep breath in an out.  As Nick grabbed my ankles to pull me to the edge of the table, he asked how I felt.  I replied, Good.”   Then I amended that by saying, “Really good.”  He pulled my ankles and asked, Really good or really, REALLY good?”  I responded, Really, really good.”  To which he laughed and said ‘F*** yeah!”  He’s a potty mouth like Phil.

I was late to Barwis.  I hate being late!  Before we left and I was figuring if we would make it on time or not, my Mom told me that it didn’t matter because, ” Some stretch is better than no stretch.”  I agreed, so we got in the car and went.  I ended up being late.  Grr!  Nick grabbed my left leg just aftermy Mom pushed me over to the black table.  I felt a bit off and my shins hurt.  I talked with Nick about that as my legs loosened up somewhat.

He helped me onto the table and I laid back still not feeling totally relaxed.  We started doing some PNFs and I still felt uptight I guess.  But then I heard it.  My 4th u2 song!!! “With or Without You.”  I LOVE this “Fit Class!”  I began explaining the meaning to Nick and what do you know?!  My legs started to relax.

Deeds changed the music before the song ended.  He changed each song after it ended.  He switched from the Black Crowes and country.  That was kind of goofy but my time was just about over and my legs and hips felt good and loose which that is the short-term goal. Walking is my ultimate goal as it has always been; but now I understand that I need to focus on the small things and little victories daily; because, if you remember, “Little by little, a little becomes a lot.”