Category: Barwis Methods

Continue reading 8.14.15 #FamilyFirst… Still.

I went to ATI instead of Barwis yesterday.  Deeds waved as my Mom wheeled me in and I returned the wave.  She helped me onto the moveable table as I waited to be stretched.  The tone In my legs was evident when I got onto the table and I kind of groaned to myself.  It gradually eased up a bit but its presence in my legs scares and discourages me and my hopes of walking.  I left feeling temporary relief from the tightness but I felt a pit in my stomach.  My hamstring is getting progressively better but I still felt disheartened.  Mike Morfitt smiled and waved as I left and I smiled back.

I was quiet on the ride home and felt uncomfortable.  Then it dawned on me!  Ask Jesse!  Jesse was my first trainer and I needed to get his take on things because my mind was feeling cloudy.  I’ve told him before that he is my “Obi-Wan.”  He laughed and agreed.  When my leg first swelled and hurt before I knew that my hamstring was torn, I texted Mike Barwis a picture as well as Jesse.  Now, I didn’t want to put these pictures on my blog but I think it kind of shows how much I trust in Jesse.  I texted Mike the first picture but kept sending Jesse pictures to show my progress and to laugh about it as well.

WARNING:  These pictures are pretty GROSS!!!  My leg was REALLY fat and bruised and my legs lack color.  I haven’t worn shorts since high school.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!:

Then I sent Jesse a picture of my legs as my Mom drove me to the orthopedist:

I had to/have to wear compression socks (on both legs now) to get rid of the swelling.

It started getting better but I had cankles (in both legs, hence – compression socks on both legs now).  Jesse joked that I ALWAYS have cankles so I sent him this picture:

This was me in high school (proof that I DID have ankles once upon a time…):

See?!

In our text conversation, Jesse calmed my somewhat frazzled mind and gave me assurance that I would bounce back from the torn muscle and tone.  I texted that now I thought that I would overcome it (given the encouragement he gave me – he’s REALLY smart about this stuff) and he replied, “You always do.  That’s what you do.”

THANKS JESSE!!!  He REALLY is my Obi-Wan.

It felt strange to be at Barwis to TRAIN at Barwis (it had been a week!).  A scheduling conflict caused me to have to reschedule my time at Barwis.  I was seen earlier in the day (at 11:00) but I was still with Nick Montoni.  It was the last time I would train with him before he goes back to school (he has one more semester).  I wore my Central shirt for the occasion and I was a little sad to see him go.  I waited by the chairs and I heard my name so I turned my head.  It was Jon working with Kaitlin.  It had been awhile since I saw him and I smiled.  Kaitlin is a first stepper and I had never seen her workout.

Megan came over and hugged me and we compared socks because it WAS “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #27.  She pushed me over to the blue table and sat on the table as I told her my torn hamstring story.  Just as I finished the story, I heard, “Ms. Rios!”  I start work tomorrow but I won’t have students until after Labor Day.  It was Michael.  I smiled and told him that I thought I would see him (because I was at Barwis early in the day).  I told him that I did my make-up for the occasion and then laughed and shook my head.  I don’t wer make-up in the summer (barely during the school year).

Just then, Nick came over.  He began working my calves while I sat in my chair as I snapped this pic:

He asked about my hamstring and I was happy to report that it hadn’t been aching at all really.  We were able to REALLY work.  I hadn’t done PNFs in SO long and it felt REALLY good to be able to do that again!  I knew that this wasn’t the “comeback” I’ve been dreaming about but it was a beginning!  When my time was over I hugged Nick and told him that the next time I see him (December) that I will be walking and he will be a graduate.  We laughed and he told me to stay positive and to, “keep doing what [I’m] doing.”

As my Mom drove me home, I felt like I was going to throw-up!  I said it a couple of times which alarmed my Mom but I told her that it was a GOOD thing.  I told her that to work your body THAT hard, to the point of throwing up was applauded.  It made me feel good that I DIDN’T feel good because it was proof I was working HARD and it’s been AWHILE since I’ve felt that I worked that hard and that REALLY felt good! (even though it felt like wanting to throw-up!)

My hamstring ached as my Mom drove me to Barwis.  I was going to ATI Friday and as we got closer, I was a bit relieved.  My hamstring hasn’t ached in a while!  The ache just proved to me that my hamstring has NOT healed yet.  Dr. Frush said that it would take 3 months for my hamstring to heal.  I doubted him at first but when my leg continued to constantly ache for another two weeks – I believe him now.  Now, my hamstring would BARELY ache (usually only sometimes after ATI or Barwis).

It was a bit unsettling that my hamstring ached before I even got to Barwis.  My Mom rolled me into ATI and I reported my ache to Greg.  My Mom transferred me onto the table and Greg started stretching me out.  It hurt, so I saw his mind working with the thoughtful look on his face.  He eased up a little and told me that he’ll just massage me.  I was happy to hear that and attributed the ache to me going back to work.  Summer is over and maybe it was the change in routine that made my hamstring ache.

Greg rubbed my leg and had me turn onto my stomach to continue the rub.  It felt SO good!  As he finished and help me turn back over to my back, I told him that he had “Magic Hands” because my hamstring didn’t hurt anymore!  My Mom helped me back into my chair and I saw Nick Montoni as we were leaving.  He waved to each other and I drove home thankful for Greg’s “Magic Hands” and looked forward to my hamstring healing.  I train with Mike Morfitt Monday so we’ll see how that goes…

Monday was the first time I was at Barwis with Nick Montoni not there; he’s back at school.  I told him that when he’s gone, I won’t have to wear my “Chips” shirt anymore.  We laughed and I told him that I’ll wear it again when he’s back – as a graduate and that I’ll be walking.  I will work primarily  with Mike Morfitt now.  I’ve worked with him before and am comfortable.  He’s joked with me before, teasing me when I see him when I go to ATI.  I have to wear shorts at physical therapy so they can put the patches for the stim on my hamstring.  I haven’t worn shorts since high school!  He tells me that my legs are pretty white (they haven’t seen the sun for 15 years!).  No wonder!  I told him that I wear sweats to Barwis and shorts to ATI.  It’s kind of silly to make that distinction because they are basically in the same place but it makes sense to me.  Sweats = Barwis and shorts = ATI.  Except for Monday.

I had to wear shorts to Barwis because I got something on my pants at work and needed to change them before I went to Barwis.  My dryer is broken right now so I dry my clothes at my Mom’s.  I didn’t have any sweats at my house so I had to wear shorts.  I told Mike Morfitt that he had to stretch me on my chair because I did NOT want to lay on the table in shorts.  He laughed but agreed to do so.   We did PNFs and he  had me push my leg down from the spot where he held it  in the air and a few times, I could push but then it would feel like my leg was “lost in space” and I could neither push nor pull.  I asked him about it and he told me to slow my movements down and would press where I would need to fire from.  I closed my eyes and would think about firing from the spot he pressed.  It was like my muscles were turned back on and I could push again.  My eyes flew open an I exclaimed, “I re-found it!” with a smile.  Mike laughed and we repeated the process a few times on each leg.

He held my right ankle and had me push my toes down.  He was surprised at how much I could push! (I was too!) It seemed like such a LONG time since I had worked SO hard at Barwis.  It felt REALLY GOOD!!!  He told me to keep pushing and I told him that I was speeding now (the motion replicated pushing the pedal down even though I do not drive with my feet any longer).  My Mom wheeled me out to the car and transferred me in.  I felt good on the way home and my hamstring didn’t even ache!  Mike and I laughed and I showed him pictures I sent to Jesse and Adam and told him why and I dug that!:

i sent these to Jesse as proof that I used to have ankles (in high school!):

And this picture to show that my legs look like mannequin legs now that I wear compression socks ALL THE TIME!:

I sent this picture to Phil because he used to call my long nails, “claw nails.”  Michael used to make fun of them too.  I attribute them to all of the vitamins I take.  I just let them grow.  When one breaks, I cut them all.  My middle finger nail broke so they are short now:

 

 

I had to change around my scheduled time both at ATI and Barwis because I’ve started back to work.  So this week and next week, I will be at ATI on Wednesday.  Even though I am technically NOT at Barwis, I still am.  So… It was “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #28:

It was a little strange wearing my wacky socks with shorts AND my compression socks but I did it.  You HAVE to be consistent, right?!

My aunt took me to Barwis so I called ATI and Greg came out to help me out of my car.  He also helped me transfer from my chair to one of the adjustable tables.  As I laid on the table, my legs felt looser.  They have been tight since late in the school year last year when I saw my neurologist.  He was the first of many to suggest that I start taking a medication to loosen my legs up but in the process, it would damage my liver.  I was unsettled with hearing this suggestion (I would hear it MANY more times!) because I have been doing everything naturally since 2007.  I had noticed the increased tightness in my legs, but it did not sit well with me that would have to be put on liver-damaging medication.

My next appointment with Dr.Clark – I told him all about it.  I told him about my increased tone, the suggestion of medication, and the damage to my liver that would be a side-effect to the medication, and my unease with taking it.  He listened and understood where I was coming from but told me that he would NOT give me medical advice about whether to start taking the medication or not – that was COMPLETELY my decision.  He put me on a supplement that he thought would help and I waited to see if it would also.  He has since adjusted the dosage and I waited to see what would happen.  I still did NOT feel comfortable with the medication and just waited it out.

As I laid on my back on the table at ATI, Greg pushed my right knee down, flat on the table and my leg did NOT resist.  He was able to do this with both of my legs with little resistance and he was able to stretch my legs out (hamstrings included) where they both felt looser.  It felt REALLY good!  Now, I can’t speak for EVERYONE who is afflicted with MS but what I am doing, is working for me.  This fact started to become apparent on this past “Wacky Sock Wednesday.”  I was cautious because my legs ALWAYS feel good when I leave Barwis (or ATI) and I attribute this to the work they do with me.

Greg put me back into my chair and wheeled me out.  I saw Mike Morfitt on the way outside and I covered my bare knees and he laughed.  He asked about the socks and I told him that it was “Wacky Sock Wednesday.”  Greg put me back into my car (with a little difficulty because he’s A LOT taller than my Mom).  I drove home excited that my lags were loosening up and having great convo with my aunt.

I got to Barwis just a few minutes late and I wheeled over to the black table.  It was shorter than before and Mike told me that it was a different table.  He sat on the table and I told him that my legs have been MORE relaxed.  I was pretty excited about this fact because my legs have been painfully tight for A WHILE and were really jerk-y (they would resist anytime someone touched them (be it my Mom, someone at Barwis, or someone at ATI)) to get them to move.  It had been this way all summer and it was making me nervous.

I was nervous because it made it easier for people to argue the necessity for me to take medication and harder for me to explain myself and my “natural” beliefs.  Something inside of me just didn’t feel right about it so I didn’t want to do it.  Mike asked if it started Tuesday and I told him that I noticed it on Wednesday.

He half-smiled and told me, matter-of-factly but joking around that (my loose legs) were after-effects of working with him on Monday.  I laughed but kind of nodded.  He helped me onto the table and had me lay on my back.  He stretched my left leg straight up and had me push it downward.  We warmed up with some “baby pushes” and then I pushed my leg ALL THE WAY down!  I pushed slowly to not get “lost in space” and I asked Mike why it was taking SO long!  He told me that he was holding it up as resistance.q  No wonder!  It still took a long time and I was tired after only three pushes on each leg.

I told Mike that it kind of stinks that I am SO TIRED and all I was doing was pushing my leg down a few times.  He told me that EVERYONE has DIFFERENT limitations.  I liked how that sounded.  As much as I hated that my limitation was pushing my leg down just three times; but I felt encouraged that that will change.  Hopefully, one day soon.

 

I was extremely late to my appointment at Barwis on Monday.  My Mom was stuck in court in Dearborn (she didn’t do anything wrong – she was prosecuting someone else for their wrongdoing to her).  She is my driver so I just waited.  I knew that any stretch I would get from Mike would be worth it.  He helped me onto the black table and I told him that the “after-effects” had worn off.

He agreed but was able to stretch my legs well enough for me to feel it.  My legs were tighter than they have been lately but not as tight as they have been in the more distant past.  He had me lay on my stomach and I was able to feel a good stretch in my quads.  It was a stretch that I haven’t felt for a long time.  I asked Mike how I felt and he said, “NOT horrible.”  I laughed and told him that he’s good for some great sound bites and told him that I was going to name my blog post “NOT Horrible.”  He laughed and laid next to me on the black table on his stomach.  I asked him about it feeling so strange most of the time when I lay on my stomach.  He sat in my chair as I rolled onto my back.  He told me that my hipflexers were REALLY tight and told me not to sit down so much.  We both laughed!

I told him about Mike Rhoades telling me to lay on my stomach for at least 10 minutes before I went to sleep.  I haven’t laid on my stomach to sleep since before I was pregnant so it was weird but it progressively got better.  I don’t do that anymore but maybe I should start again.  I sat up on the black table and Mike told me that, “We’ll get to that,” talking about me not sitting so much.  It REALLY does feel good to hear ANYONE at Barwis voicing their confidence in me walking again because they ALL have that confidence.  He put me in my chair and walked with me to the roll-down door way.  I told him that I felt good and he nodded that it was good speed stretching.

I rolled in to ATI and I saw Luba (I think that is how it is spelled) stretching someone out on the first table by the door.  Phil introduced me to her awhile ago when I was training.  He introduced me as “Daisy” and introduced her to me as “Luba the Russian spy.”  Luba is Russian-born and I told her that’s NOT my name.  Luba smiled at me and told me that I was working with her.  I smiled and told her that I was excited.

My Mom put me on the table and I asked her to take a pic of my socks because I forgot my phone at home.  It WAS “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #29!:

Megan came in and hugged me and we compared socks.  My legs were pretty tight.  Maybe it had something to do with the extreme heat but Lyuba stretched me out as we had conversation getting to know each other.  I recounted my MS diagnosis story and subsequent pregnancy. She came to the U.S. in 1990 when she was 7.  My legs kept resisting  and Lyuba asked if my legs were always this tonic.  “Tonic.”  I really liked how that sounded.  I have never heard that form of tone and I dug it!  I told her that I haven’t felt this tight until around the time I tore my hamstring.  She told me about some of the benefits of tone.

My Mom helped me to turn over on to my stomach and Luba stretched my quads.  After some time of me laying on my stomach, my legs began to relax.  Luba asked if my legs always relaxed in prone.  My Mom asked what that was and she told us that laying on my stomach was “prone.”  Learn something new EVERYDAY.  She put the patches for stim on my leg and got the cold pack.  I LOVE this part (ice & stim)!  My Mom asked what her name meant in Russian and she told us, “Love.”  That’s beautiful!

I thought my appointment time was at 6.  It was at 5 on Friday.  When I got there, I had to go to the bathroom so I had an even BIGGER speed stretch!  I stayed in my chair and Mike stretched me as I sat there.  I was a bit preoccupied anyway so the little bit of stretch that I was able to get REALLY relaxed me.

As my Mom started the car, I told her my legs were warm.  She agreed that it was extremely warm in the gym but I explained what I meant by that statement.  My legs felt warm as in there was blood flowing through them.  I’ve felt that often at Barwis because NOW, blood flows all the way through my legs to the tips of my toes.

I told my Mom that the INSIDES (under my skin) of my legs felt warm.  That warm feeling ALWAYS makes me feel good!  It makes me feel as if walking is close.  It’s close because my legs often feel warm at Barwis and my bathroom floor is consistently cold.  Both of those things prove that I am FEELING sensations in my legs.  Brock told me that feeling heat and cold were catalysts to walking so even with my even BIGGER speed stretch (shorter time) on Friday, I am still progressing toward walking and that feels REALLY good!!!