Category: A Bit Of Randomness

Yesterday morning, I opened my eyes and felt like I had gotten some good sleep the night before and decided I was going to shift slightly and then get some more sleep. That slight shift caused my knee to pop out. I grabbed my phone and called my Mom. It was 8:46 am. My Nom came over and grabbed my ankle and put her hand on the inside of my knee which is what it takes to pop it back in. Only, my knee did NOT pop back in!

She continued to move my leg around trying to get it to catch but it did not happen. I was in excruciating pain! She called my brother so that I could lay in the backseat of his SUV and he would take me to the hospital. He got here and they transferred me to my manual chair to go to the hospital but I was in so much pain that they stopped and called an ambulance instead.

I couldn’t believe this was happening as explained to Lee in the back of the ambulance the history of my right knee and how it was feeling right now. Our conversation ended as we pulled up to the emergency room and I told him that all I wanted do today was watch some football!

Once in the emergency room as the intake nurse was entering my information into the computer two nurses were getting my vitals and taking my pants and right compression sock off for an x-ray. My speech begin to slur as my stress level rose. The doctor at the local emergency room in Deerborn told me that my x-ray showed that the bones were in line and it looked OK. She was planning on sending me home. Given the amount of extreme pain I was still in, I could not go home feeling this way!

The woman came to our our “room“ who got my pants off once I arrived to talk about discharge but my Mom explained the situation. She completely understood and was going to have an ambulance take us downtown to the emergency room where they had an orthopedic team and could do the MRI today.

After a while, the EMS team came so that is ambulance ride #2. They were going to take me downtown to the ER. Mike rode in the back with me. We discussed football after I gave him all the information regarding past surgeries and my right knee. Even though he was a Spartan, we chose all four of the same teams for this weekend. My speech began to calm down a little bit because I relaxed as we talked about football.

The triage resident, Dr. Washington, explained to my Mom and me that there was NOT an orthopedic team there (only orthopedists on call) and I could NOT get an MRI today. He did not see anything emergent in my case but still wanted to get another x-ray though. When he looked at my knee, he asked about my ACL scar and I told him that Dr. Anderson had done it in 2000 when he worked at Henry Ford. That was the ER I was at. He did not know Dr. Anderson but he had heard of him. Dr. Anderson no longer works there but is the Lions’ doctor. I told him that Dr. Frush performed my meniscus repair at the same time he was the Pistons’ doctor. I told him that my knee is famous!

Dr. Washington had a Michigan lanyard around his neck that I commented on when he first came in. I found myself relaxing and my speech getting better. I was glad that he ordered another x-ray because my knee was still KILLING me! Before he left, he told me to follow up and get an MRI in clinic.

When I was taken back into the ER, I could feel my throat tightening and it getting more difficult to speak. Anyone who came into my room, I explained that I was not drunk or on drugs but that I had MS so I could not speak well because I was stressed. My brain was working a lot faster than my mouth was able to communicate. My Mom also helped me speak to the doctors.

The very pregnant doctor in the ER reiterated the fact that I need to follow up and get an MRI just like Dr. Washington had said. Because I was still in so much pain, I got a ride home again from the hospital. Before yesterday, I think I was only in an ambulance one other time but now I was in an ambulance three times in one day! And two of those times, I didn’t even have pants on!

I woke up this morning at 8:50 am. It was 24 hours and four minutes that my knee was KILLING me! My speech is NOT much better today either and tomorrow I will call Dr. Moore’s office first thing in the morning! As for Mike and my football teams, we were two for four. 50%. That’s still an. “F.” My knee hurts so much and it took FOREVER for me to write this post because my speech is STILL wonky!

It’s pretty frustrating to me how for the past more than two years I am conscious of my right knee. The third definition that popped up in my Google search was, “Painfully aware of; sensitive to.” If that hasn’t been me for more than the past two years, I don’t know what it is!

I opened my eyes this morning and rolled over from my left side onto my back. I felt movement in my knee! Any feeling that I have in my right knee scares me but feeling strange movement just after being in the hospital for pain involving my right knee is EXTRA scary!

I suggested amputation of my right leg to Dr. Washington in the ER on Saturday. My Mom ABSOLUTELY hates when I say that! Suggesting that does not actually mean that I want to cut my leg off but rather, I want this pain to go away and it has NOT for the past two years so amputations seems like my best option.

Dr. Washington understood that I was joking and laughed but he let me know that it is better to have, “Two pivot points” when transferring to or from my will chair so I need both of my feet. I guess amputation is not an option but I DESPERATELY want this pain to go away!

It’s so frustrating that it has not gone away in the past two years and somehow I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that it may not ever go away and my knee is broken.

I did my pre-student teaching at an alternative education high school in Lincoln Park. I was given this assignment just after I got my Canadian crutches. I showed up at that school using my Canadian crutches that were very new to me! I sat in a chair next to the teacher’s desk and was nervous and did not know what to expect.

On that first day, I arrived early and situated myself inside the classroom before the students came into the room. A boy who was sitting in the back of the room spoke. I was writing in my notebook and he said, “Are you a cripple? Aren’t you a cripple?” When I looked it up, he was looking directly at me!

I didn’t know how to respond to that if he was talking to me. But, he WAS talking to me! I WAS the, “cripple” then he spoke of. I was so new to the disabled community that I did not even realize that he was talking to me! The teacher corrected him and said something to him and I can’t even remember because this had to be 13 years ago.

So, the night before my 3 ambulance ride day, I saw this movie. I saw it with my two, “sacreds” (Sean and my Mom). I ABSOLUTELY loved it! I am no movie critic but I would definitely recommend this movie to anyone!

I wanted to write this post regarding this movie that night but I was too tired so I figured that I would wait until Saturday morning. My Saturday was a huge fiasco and I had not gotten a chance to write it. But when I saw this video on YouTube, I took pause. I love this movie but I definitely can’t NOT think about Trevor‘s comments! They were eye-opening for sure! Maybe it should be more so because I am more clearly part of that community now!

I still loved that movie and I will see it again but I really can’t NOT think about these comments anymore!

So, yesterday, Sean watched both of the championship games with me. BOTH of my teams lost! I did however, see this commercial twice.

I cried both times I saw it. I tried to just wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my sweatshirt before Sean saw me tearing up, but he did anyway! He knows that I can’t control my emotions very well anymore and I cry at a lot of commercials but he let me know that I was 2 for 2 with this one!

It’s definitely a tearjerker especially given the extensive football conversation I had with one of my EMTs, Mike. we both agreed, “Saints all the way!” Even though he is a Spartan! He told me that he won his fantasy football league and I warned him that I only pick the losers!

Well, unfortunately, that still rings true! 😒😒😒

Tuesday, my Mom was humming a song that is on my “Daddy” playlist. I haven’t listened to it in a while so I asked my Mom if she wanted to listen to that playlist and she helped me get ready for the day. She did so that is what we listen meg to.

OF COURSE it made me cry! The playlist started playing for a second time when I was completely ready for the day and was seated in my living room picking a shipping label off of a package I received. I was picking the label off to get rid of my information so as to write my niece’s information on it to send her a care package while she is away at college.

So here I sat having a difficult time picking at that label and I felt a bit melancholy because these songs on the playlist, my Dad‘s playlist, the songs that were on the CD I made for him for his 55th birthday which was titled, “The Daddy Mix.” I gave that CD to him four months before he died. My Mom has told me that he’d listen to it often before he died.

I was engrossed in concentrating on picking that label off and listening to the music. I’m not even sure which song it was but I heard my Dad‘s voice singing along with it! I picked my head up and glanced to where I thought the sound was coming from. Obviously he was not there but I gasped and told my Mom that, “I heard Daddy’s voice!”

I’ve only heard his voice twice before in dreams I have had in the 12 years since his death. It was shocking to hear his voice crystal clearly singing along with the song while I was awake. My brothers and my son have similar voices to him when they say things that he would always say but they aren’t the voice I heard singing as I was concentrating at picking that label off. Hearing my dad’s voice has made me miss him so much more but I am grateful to have heard it!

This morning, I yawned and covered my mouth. It was one of those long, drawn out yawns and once I was finished, I started laughing! I laughed because I thought of a memory from my first years teaching. The memory is from back when I taught English. My Mom looked at me this morning quizzically and asked me why I was laughing.

I laid the entire story out not really thinking she would laugh but my heart was warmed at the memory! I was teaching a novel, I’m not sure which one it was, (The Outsiders, Don’t You Dare Read This, Mrs. Dunphrey, or Surviving the Applewhites) but I stood on the right side of the overhead projector in front of the class. (This had to be in 2008, hence, the overhead projector). Because I was teaching a novel, I had printed out the vocabulary words and definitions onto the overheads so I had a stack of overheads that had the various definitions on them in my hand.

I felt a yawn coming on so I turned my head to the left and covered my mouth with the papers that were in my right hand. The papers that were in my hand were clear overhead sheets! It was again, one of those long, drawn out yawns. My students saw the ENTIRE thing because they were clear papers that I was holding. My students did not start laughing until one of them let me know that they could see my mouth as a yawned.

We all started to laugh as I apologized for them having to see that! My heart was warmed thinking of that entire class of seventh graders laughing. I hadn’t thought of that memory in a very long time but my long, drawn out yawn this morning made me think of it. My heart has been warmed by this memory all day!

My knee popped out this morning. Only, it was different than it always has been. Normally, my eyes are still closed and I’m just starting to become coherent when my knee will pop that causes my eyes to fly open at the exact moment that I am ripped from my slumber. That’s when I call myMom for help!

It is only after my Championship Saturday that I spent in two emergency rooms and after two x-rays and three ambulance rides that I know it is not my knee popping out. My knee joint is still intact when it feels like this. The x-rays showed that! What Dr. Washington told me was that it was a tendon or ligament that is stretching funny that causes my knee to hurt.

It no longer, “pups”out but rather just kind of, “slides” out of place but either way both hurt! A lot! For the rest of the day that my knee, “pops” out, it hurts! Just like right now! I’m trying to wrap my head around it STILL hurting after MORE than a year and a half removed from surgery!

I wonder if continued damage is being done to my knee?! Dr. Moore has been through all of my MRIs multiple times. Now, I am just waiting to get an appointment with Dr. Bitar. He isthe PMR (physical medicine and rehabilitation) doctor that Dr. Moore has referred me to. To me, it is further proof that my knee is broken! I need ongoing care!

My knee, “pops” out multiple times during each week but what makes this time different is that I was awake, my eyes were open, and I thought I had bypassed the pain! Not so much!

My knee popped out again this morning. My eyes were open when it happened just like yesterday. Yesterday, I started thinking about the x-rays I had done of my right knee a few weekends ago. The x-ray I thought of was my second x-ray in the second emergency room that I was in on Saturday after my second ambulance ride. It was the first ambulance ride that I didn’t have any pants on for!

I make it a point to remember everyone’s name if I’m going to speak of them in my blog so I think my Porter was named Sergei who took me for my second x-ray at Henry Ford Hospital downtown this time. I thought about this x-ray because for the past 19 years, I haven’t really ever spoken about this, at least with an x-ray technician! Sergei (I think that’s what his name was) took me into the room and a young woman got me ready for the x-rays.

She asked me if I had any metal in my knee. I gave her this standard answer just like I give a list of surgeries that I’ve had and when I’ve had them. I don’t think I got her name but I told her that I had metal buttons in my right knee and I told her that it was orthopedic hardware so it was OK to x-ray.

Once she took the pictures, the same pictures I took at the Dearborn emergency room she came out from behind the glass and asked me when I got what I got in my knee. I kind of laughed and told her that they are metal buttons that I got from my ACL reconstruction. She told me that she had never seen them before in her life! She added that they DO look like buttons!

I have never really been asked about them before and I had my ACL reconstructed 19 years ago! I was asked about the hardware when my knee was first injured in September 2016. I told the doctor then that it was almost 17 years ago that my ACL was repaired. It really is mind-boggling that I am STILL having problems with my knee!

After the x-rays were finished and I was taken back to my waiting cubicle, the doctor came back in to talk to me about the x-rays and what her plans were for me. I can’t remember her name either but I know that she was really, super pregnant! My Mom asked when she was due and she answered that she was due in February. My Mom let her know that she had three of her kids in February. That’s 60%!

She told me that she was sending me home and my Mom let her know that I needed to go back home in an ambulance. That was my third ambulance ride of the day and the second one that I STILL didn’t have any pants on! I still don’t have any answers about what is happening to my knee and why it is happening! All I know is that it hurts! As I thought about my x-rays from that time in the emergency room, it made me wonder what these buttons look like in my knee.

I started watching professional football when my son started playing football when he was seven. (2009) After watching the first couple games, it didn’t make sense to me! I was just seeing little kids bumping into each other for the whole game. When I was in high school, I knew all of the rules and positions. After watching the first Lions’ game, it all came back and made sense to me! Being from Dearborn, of course, my team is the Detroit Lions! I have not known a Lions’ team without Matthew Stafford!

Given that the Lions very rarely make it to the postseason, I am a post-season bandwagoner! I have become a HUGE football fan and when Sean was younger, he was OK with being a bandwagoner with me. Now, he just makes fun of me for buying a shirt. I choose my team on Wildcard Weekend and it will change once my desired team is eliminated. I usually make my choice after the NFC championship game.

There have been times when I go along with an AFC team, but I like to stick with in our conference. After the NFC championship game, I ordered my shirt to have it for Super Bowl Sunday. I ordered my shirt after the NFC championship game and because of the high demand, it was back ordered and shipped to my house two days later than was expected. I checked the tracking on the package and it is not due to get to my house until Wednesday! The Super Bowl is this Sunday!

I called customer service twice and was hoping to get some kind of discount because if my team loses, what is the point of having the shirt? I was told that since that item has already shipped, there is nothing they can do. That really stinks! I’ve thought about it and for the Super Bowl, I will just have to wear my GMFB shirt. I LOVE that shirt!!!

I’m not sure what I will do when my shirt comes. I ordered a really cool one but I’m not sure what to do if they lose. The second customer service representative I spoke with reiterated what the first representative told me. I can send back the package unopened with “Return to Sender” on it and get a full refund. I still rock my Eagles Super Bowl Champions shirt from last year so I’m not sure what I’m going to do!

When Sean was younger, I was still working and it was not a problem to get both of us a bandwagon shirt. But now, being on a fixed income, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I am all in on my team for the Super Bowl and I guess the outcome will determine if I keep or send my shirt back.

Things to think about! Because I am usually a jinxer of the Super Bowl, (If you are a true football fan, you already know what kind of shirt I got!) I’m not going to say what kind of shirt I got until AFTER the Super Bowl! When I let you guys know if I send it back for a refund or not. It is really cool so regardless, maybe I’ll just keep it!