Author: Jen Rios

This morning when I woke up, and it was morning because it was 8 o’clock because we had haircut appointments later today and then we were going to see the lights with Sean, which is 100% a nostalgic thing for me! I remember taking him when he was three back when I could still drive… so he humors me and goes with me. With us because my mom drives.

My left toes are hurting me, even after getting new shoes. This morning, my Mom took my socks off and inspected my toes. She told me that my big toe looks red and she pressed it. She said it was non-Blanche able.

Well, that sucks!!!

Non-blanchable is a term we learned from the visiting nurse when I had my pressure sores on my heels. Which killed me from April until November!!! She told us that if pressure sores do not turn white when you press them, that’s evidence of further nerve damage:

My Mom got me out of bed and asked me if she wanted me to call and make up a podiatry appointment for me. Waking up as hard for me and I just said, “Yes.”

I had asked my Internist to refer me to podiatry after I saw her in November. My toe started feeling funny then and I got fitted for new shoes on December 9. My brother Zelled me money that day and Thursday, my Mom ordered them for me.

They arrived on Sunday and I have worn them outside twice. I won’t leave the house until January 20. That’s because my Mom made podiatry appointment for that day. I have a haircut on the 21st and a bone density scan on the 22nd.

I have just finished the most brutal year of doctors appointment of my life! I just added a third van rental for January. No, I will have to leave the house for three days in a row and that is going to wreak havoc on me and I am not looking forward to it at all! I’m trying to recover from this past year with my head still spinning.!!!

This evening when we were leaving the light show, I told my Mom that I don’t think next year will be a thing for us because it’s getting harder for me to see…

in three minutes, I will be 10 days away from 25 years I’ve been diagnosed with MS. I’ve had too much to deal with this year and it’s looking like next year’s going to be more of the same. I asked my Mom if I’m going to lose my toe. And she shrugged and said that it’s not black yet and we have an appointment on the books.

This sucks!!! #ItSucksToSuck!!! #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…

Today marked my last appointment for the year. I saw my naturopath today and I have a few more supplements to work on my gallbladder. I am so exhausted, but I am not finished yet because we have haircuts tomorrow and then we are going to see the lights! The Wayne County Christmas lights!

Haircuts tomorrow and I didn’t get one last month because I needed to get my shoes addressed. By the way, today was the maiden voyage and my Mom says they’re pretty! I think it stinks that I need these shoes but I do.

I went to my dentist appointment on Tuesday and here it is Friday and I’m not feeling much better. I’m not sure that I ‘bounce back’ anymore.

I have to leave the house next week for a naturopath appointment and a haircut. Then that is it for me for this ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL year!!!

After next week, I can actually start to think about how horrible this past year was! It all started January 7. Now that I won’t have anything to do after next week I can take a breath. I’m not sure that I bounce back anymore at all.

I REALLY just exist between appointments…

‘Go Time’ was a success!!! I’m tired but my teeth are clean and I know what shoes I need and why!!!

First of all, I went to my dentist to get a cleaning. I have been going there since I was seven. My son goes there too. They have changed hands and now it’s a corporate dental office. I have spoken to a receptionist named Samantha a number of times for my appointment today.

When my appointment was over Samantha came over to me and she said, “I don’t know if you remember me-“

I recognized her immediately!!! I will see her now three times a year because I need to get my teeth cleaned three times. Twice with the dentist and three times with the hygienist. She has 3 kids now!!!

Sarah finished my cleaning quickly and we were able to get on the road to see about my shoes by 4:30.

We were going from Westland to Rochester Hills. There was snow on the ground, but the roads were clear. Just before we got to the strip mall where the store was located, I told my Mom that, “I love decorated Christmas trees, deciduous decorated trees! Uniformly lit deciduous Christmas trees!

That we turned the corner and then my breath was taken away!

My Mom snapped I few pictures but they do not give the trees justice because they were beautiful and they were so many of them!!! they were all uniformly lit because they were professionally done!:

I snapped these mixtures while I was seated in the van:

Some pictures that my Mom took that do not justice because they were beautiful!!!:

We talked to a man named Steve and he sized to me and explained the kind of shoe I need and why. It was very informative and I liked that! Then he gave me two options they had and I chose one of them.

We stopped and got a pizza because I am so exhausted! I told my brother that we were going to the shoe store and once we cut in the parking lot to get the pizza, He Zelled me money and I will order the shoes tomorrow. They are completely a ‘Sr. Dorothy special.’ She was our principal in grade school. I remember seeing her with these shoes! I know that’s what I NEED a now but it definitely is a hard pill to swallow I will have Nun shoes now?!:

I pillaged today. And now I can go back to using this picture:

My pill box is that big now! I am that sick now… that fact is so BEYOND startling to me!

We had a change of plan last minute! Let me ‘splain ya:

So, I’m homebound now and I do a lot of research on my phone before we go anywhere. The shoe store that I thought carried the shoes I wanted was at 12 Oaks and I was super excited to go there, but, turns out. When my caregiver (my Mom) called there, they didn’t even know about those shoes. Back to the drawing board!!!

There were other specialty stores kind of nearby and kind of not. My Mom called there and this store has the largest selection of SAS shoes in Michigan! So, I think this is where we are going to go.

On the day that I am getting my teeth cleaned, my appointment is at 4 o’clock. From there, we can go the store in Rochester. It might be pushing it a little bit because if there’s snow, that will stink.

My Mom just looked at me and said, “We left for the cider mill at 5 o’clock, (that is also in Rochester) and we made it. We have 100 miles in our van rental so let’s do it!”

I’m game if she is!

it’s a far cry from ordering kids shoes on the Internet for 20 bucks. I’m that sick now… #ItSucksToSuck!!! #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…