I did not sleep well last night to say the least! Abut waking this morning was not much better either. This weather ain’t no joke! Having MS for 22 years ain’t no joke either!!! Sitting an air conditioner doesn’t matter when it is so hot outside and I am in need of new windows.
I have never felt like this before!!! I am quite scared!!! I heard this song last night as I was playing Triple Tile 3-D and I heard this song and I have decided that in desperation, I have sent for a warrior. I really don’t feel like a Hercules and these tears just keep coming…:
My sleep schedule is completely wonky in this heat, and after having MS for 22+ years so, with the writers strike continuing, this is the video I was forced to watch at 3:51 a.m. this morning:
I thought that Seth Meyers singing Since U Been Gone was hilarious, but I have never seen this video before, so I watched it today:
The weather was awful when I woke up, and I think it was during an audio rosary and just after I counted five of the biggest cracks of thunder in my life when I closed my eyes and got into the Power Stance.
I held my fists to my hips for a long while, as my eyes were closed as I tried to muster some kind of strength. But then I felt a tear threaten to creep out of my right eye. I tried to lock my jaw to make it stop, but then my right eye started to threaten a tear. And then the tears just started to fall.
My shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, as my face was completely drenched with tears, but I just let them fall. I did that until I couldn’t stand all the wetness on my face, and I needed to blow my nose.
I told my Mom that I have never felt like this before in my life because I haven’t and something tells me that a power stands with tears streaming is NOT as effective…
Yesterday, I graduated from Speech Pathology. But, like all of my graduations, there was no fanfare for me. When Sean graduated how he did in 2020, I did not even get to go to that, I told him that he came from my body, so my curse as part of him.
So now, I am just in existence mode until July 19. I can catch my breath now. I have been listening to Sara Bareilles a lot lately. I have this song in my head because I really like it:
I had my virtual Speech Pathology appointment today. And at this point, my Speech Pathology appointments are basically just talking to each other. I remember that Meira said that that’s what she would do and she is assessing me as I talk. Today, she let me know that she can no longer justify having me on her schedule.
I asked her if she was breaking up with me, and this is a real break up now, and she said that she is choosing to think of it as a graduation. Then she let me know that I am a gold star, A+ graduate!
I really liked hearing that, but I am so tired now! I took my contacts out right after my appointment to let my eyes rest because with my air conditioners on, it’s a fight to reach homeostasis now.
It is so tiring! I will not need to leave my house again until July 19 for my haircut and then again on July 24 for my eye appointment with my optometrist. I don’t see my neural ophthalmologist until next year.
My Mom told me about this movie a while back and it was free so we watched it. But now, it’s no longer free so we bought it. I commented on Richard Dreyfuss’s acting the first time I saw this, and after some research, he won an Academy award for this! This one is one of my faves!:
I just started thinking last night that I do not have to leave my house until July 19th. But then I remembered that my appointments are semi-virtual. I have an appointment with my Speech Pathologist next Wednesday.
Meira was the one who suggested that I go virtual for all of my appointments. She knows that transportation is an issue for me now. I see my Speech Pathologist virtually, I saw my nutritionist virtually, but then I have other things that I have to go into the clinic for.
I have to go into the clinic to see my optometrist and my neural ophthalmologist. They need to actually see my eyeballs! I did, however, decide to go virtual with my neurologist, because I completely understand that she is NOT going to give me a magic pill to cure me. I have also opted to stop MRIs. I stopped that last year; I didn’t have one.
I also need to see my primary care doctor every six months to get weighed and to get blood drawn. I really can’t believe how small my life is now… that, and I’m getting old! Because I titled this post, semi virtual, you know that I thought of semi charmed, kind of life by Third Eye Blind! That was my jam in high school, but I watched the video today and the lyrics are kind of dirty and I can’t believe 15 year old Jenny was singing this?!!!!:
So I am listening to my Sara Bareilles playlist, because I am not feeling well at all and I just kind of sit here reclined with my eyes sort of closed. That’s how I recover! But I just listened to this recording of “Let the rain come down” and it reminded me why I love, love, love love music so much!!!: