Author: Jen Rios

My Life is Sad.

My Mom always tells me that I like sad music and I just tell her that my life is sad. I did not know how sad it would be 23 years ago when I was diagnosed with MS. Which at this point, the is a mother b*tch!


I do wonder what this song is about but I like it. What can I say, I like sad mood sick because my life is sad!

Parachute

Because it is August now, I was listening to my Train Apple Music playlist, and I heard this song:

I have a very vivid memory of driving to work, and I was listening to this album for the first time, and this song came on just as I was making that very weird Isosceles triangle type turn off of Dix and onto Goldsmith to go to work.

This album came out in 2009 and I think I was still in our 2nd apartment so I thought I had a social life ahead of me. Well, that didn’t happen, but I love this song!!!

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Something Spiritual

I saw that the New Zealand women’s rugby team won the gold medal today, and did the Haka. I had never witnessed women doing the Haka before. All I know is that I witnessed something spiritual today! I always cry when I watch people perform the Haka but these women are Olympic Gold Medalists now?!!!!

August 2024 Faves

So, it’s Trains turn. And I am sitting in the parking lot at Wendy’s, eating a single with cheese, no onions, no tomatoes, fries, and a Dr Pepper as I am staring at a tattoo shop. I vaguely remember thinking that I would get a tattoo there but I’m 42 and I don’t have any tattoos. This song was playing:

I first have to share this song because I am 12 years old every time I hear it but 42 year old Jen is different than 12 year-old Jenny and I no longer can sing along because it’s too many words in my mouth. 12-year-old Jenny did not have MS, oh, wait, maybe I did:

I prefer Train songs from the early 2000s. That’s when I found out that Pat Monahan has a harry chest when he was walking around shirtless. For the first time, I didn’t mind it! This is my favorite picture from seeing them live!:


NOT Pleasant but…

It was necessary for me to restart the three day cinnamon regiment the three times a day for three days and then I can go back to just the maintenance which is once a day.

It was tolerable. Not pleasant, but tolerable. It didn’t taste so much like the brown Mr. Sketch marker more like a mouthful of dirt. I had nine mouthfuls of dirt! On the 21st, I will send another sample to the lab and then I will see if I have to do this for a third time. My condition is chronic!

Every Three Years?

So, I have been thinking. It was so earth shattering to see nothing in that phoropter. I am going to search through my past love posts, but I’m pretty sure that in ‘21 my optometrist moved me to an eight.

After a day, that was too much and I went back down to a seven. The past two years have been fine with my seven contacts and I could see just fine. Well, my one letter in my right eye, and three letters in my left eye.I’m thinking it’s going to be every three years I need new contacts. My mom told me that someone she knows wears a -10.

I guess there really isn’t a way for me to gauge it with disease, progression and stuff but I’m not blind… yet… I still hear that doctor in my head, and I have been for the past 23 years but now it’s an issue.. 😒😒😒

“I’m Going Blind.”

So, I’m thinking it’s going to be a multiple post situation as I am trying to sort through my eye doctor visit and my feelings about it…

Sean came over after work on Thursday. I had talked to him on Wednesday on the phone and told him about my appointment. He came in and he gave me a big hug, and I hugged him right back! He even commented, something like, “Wow, mom, that’s a good hug” to which I responded in a whisper by his right shoulder, “I’m going blind.”

I have been thinking about this since last Wednesday. I was so startled when I put my face in the phoropter (that is the name of the funny machine you put your face into to check your eyes) and I saw nothing. Absolutely nothing! I have been going to the eye doctors since second grade, That’s when I first got glasses.

I was so startled at seeing nothing, and I heard that doctor (with the ugly glasses) telling me that I was going to go blind When she told me, I had MS. Dr. Harris changed my prescription and I put contacts in so I could see so much better with them. I still have a lot to think about with this…

33 Pills

Pillaging for me has taken on a little bit more work. I take 33 pills a day now. I also leave my cheat sheet that Yanna gave me last month in the box that has all of my pill bottles so I can remember if I’m taking the pills correctly. It takes me four full rosaries to fill my pillbox! The rosaries keep my mind focused because counting pills is a lot of work!!! That and controlling my hands!!!