Author: Jen Rios

Rando Tune #49

I think that it’s the heat! I have been doing puzzles because it keeps my mind off of the pain I feel in this heat! I have been listening to to my Gavin DeGraw playlist, and then songs just play after that. A lot of Train, The Script, Sara Bareilles. I don’t mind and just let it play.

I have heard this song so much! I’m not sure if we were living in our house yet but I remember this song being back when I thought that I could have a social life. How dumb?! Here’s the song that made me cry, and I’m not sure why, but I think it’s the heat. I am barely holding on!!!

Miserable!!!

When I opened my eyes this morning (really the afternoon), I laid in bed and listened to three full rosaries so it was almost an hour that I was laying there because I DID NOT have the energy to sit up in my bed!!! Once I sit up in bed, I asked my mom to turn the light on and remain there for ANOTHER two rosaries as I am cleaning out my email and checking Facebook and Twitter. I saw this meme on Facebook and it’s totally fitting!!!:

The word I use is miserable. This is just miserable!!! My Mom asked me that probably mid June and I said it was miserable the fact that it is still miserable and will remain miserable till probably September.

I had a feeling that MS was going to start being more intense, but I was not anticipating this intense!!! it’s miserable!!! it’s really miserable!!!

Luxury Sedan

There ABSOLUTELY is method to my madness and I will ‘splain ya:

I think that this has to go back to last weekend when I first tried out my Dragonfruit Lemon chapstick. As soon as I applied it to my lips, it reminded me of summer. But not summer as a child, summer as a college student. And I was remembering one specific memory as I put it on my lips and now after my executive decision, I get to think of that memory every single weekend! Here is the memory:

it was summertime and for some reason my brother’s car was at my Parents’ house for something. Someone came and picked him up from there or something. Either way, my Parents told me to drive my brother’s car to his house and they will pick me up and we will go out to dinner.

He had an impala and I clearly and distinctly remember my Parents pulling up to his house, and me jumping out of his car exclaiming to my Parents, “This is a luxury sedan! and I am going to own one!” I think this was the summer before college at WMU. I had just graduated from high school. I was still driving the Cavalier that my Dad gave me.

So then, fast forward to my first year teaching, and I totaled the car that my Dad bought me (I slipped on black ice on my way to work, apparently Dearborn roads are a little less slick than Detroit roads! I didn’t know that?!) so it was time for me to buy a car of my own. The thing about impalas is, you have to park them in order to drive them. That was something I COULD NOT DO at all! I ended up settling for a male room. Full size car is too big for me but midsize is acceptable. I didn’t even drive anymore now! Maybe that’s why I couldn’t park a full-size car in the first place…?

So Be It!

I think it was the last summer when I talked with my Mom about the fact that I may be addicted to Chapstick. She was the one who suggested it, because she read about it online and I laughed hysterically!

Fast-forward to this summer, and since the beginning of June, I have gone through two ENTIRE tubes of Cucumber Mint chapstick! Wait. What?! Maybe I am a little bit addicted to chapstick… I love how soft it feels on my lips when I press them together. I guess I like that feeling a little bit more now that I am homebound and it’s a little more painful…

Because of that possible fact, I have made the executive decision to make my new Dragonfruit Lemon chapstick, my chapstick for the entire weekend. maybe I will let my current chapsticks last until September when I can go to Pomegranate for Pumpkin Spice in October. So, I guess I may be a little addicted to Chapstick… so be it!

Cinnamon Haze OR “Less”

I have taken a total of five doses of Ceylon cinnamon. I still have four to go, and I will be done tomorrow. I must say that ingesting 3 teaspoons of cinnamon is INTENSE!!! I spent yesterday a bit startled and kind of stupefied because I was stuck in a “Cinnamon Haze.”

Each time I gingerly blew my nose, I smelled cinnamon. I didn’t blow it really hard because I didn’t want a powder keg explosion in my nose again! As I drank my morning shake yesterday, it tasted different, because I had remnants of cinnamon dust in my mouth. Chewing gum afterward was also a COMPLETELY new experience!!! I liked how it tasted!

Because I was so inundated with the cinnamon smell I thought back to working at Fairlane mall at Superstars. Cinnabon was located the floor below us across from where we were situated in the mall. I could smell Cinnabon ALL DAY LONG! Subsequently, I gained 15 pounds while I worked there. But I only worked there from after basketball season to before softball season. Five or six months?

I really like that today was the second day of taking this Ceylon cinnamon, and it already is “less!” What I mean is that it is it’s less abrasive to take this cinnamon. Oh, it’s still HOT for sure, but it just feels a little bit “less.” And therefore a little bit more tolerable which is good, because I will have to do this for the rest of my life!

The Brown Mr. Sketch Marker

So, I think having MS for 23 years leads to some issues. I’m trying to figure it all out! But, I tried something today and I need to continue it for two more days.

I need to pay attention to my urinary tract health now that I am in a power chair all the time so therefore I do not move. My Mom called Zerbo’s (the local health food store/market) because my naturopath gave us another supplement to use. I am seeing him on Wednesday for ‘the go time.’

Joe at Zerbo’s told her that he knows about that remedy, but he is going to give her one better! He told my Mom that he has told hundreds of people and it will work as long as I take it as he tells us. Well, I took it this morning and it is IN-TENSE!!!

My Mom asked me this morning how I felt just after I took it and I told her it feels like I swallowed the brown Mr. Sketch marker! Because it really did!

Joe told my Mom that she needs to give me a rounded teaspoon of Ceylon cinnamon and mixed it with just enough water to let it go down my throat. My Mom used 2 tablespoons. She mixed it up, and I drank it down. Man, was it HOT?!!!!

He told her to have me take it three times a day for the next three days and then one maintenance dose every day. So, I only have to take it six more times. It will taste like this:

But, okay?

Well, at least it wasn’t raining yesterday?! Because it did today, all day long!!! It wasn’t as hot so I was able to actually eat food for my lunch and I did NOT cry. Yesterday, I drank my lunch by just having another nutrition shake. I actually added another pack to my Target list because it is only early July so this summer has a long way to go!

I do not have time for crying because next week is ‘go time.’ The following week, I have an appointment with my optometrist. I was planning on having July be my Eye Care month or something because I had scheduled both my optometrist and my neural ophthalmologist for July. I thought to have some kind of cute name. Like my BookTober Fest when I worked but yeah, no. In this heat, that is NOT happening!

But, my new neural ophthalmologist rescheduled twice so then I was able to make my appointment for October 1. My appointment schedule is starting to take shape for next year. That’s how far ahead I think! That’s how my brain works. I was thinking about it today and maybe it’s a good thing that my brain works like that so I really don’t think about the fact that I go to the doctor every month of the year!!!

I’m seeing my optometrist this month and I made that appointment in February. I started seeing him in July 2021. My prescription has NOT changed since I met him. My eyes have worsened, but my prescription hasn’t changed so I can still see up close without my contacts in. It was a strange rationale, but okay.

I Am NOT Okay.

I read when I woke up this afternoon (because it’s like that now) that Beryl made landfall in Texas. I am not sure if it’s because of that or this heat, but I am NOT okay.

I have cried three times (excluding all family deaths) as an adult, where I actually felt myself ugly cry. The first time I felt that, or maybe not the ugly cry face but my shoulders were shaking and I was silently sobbing was when Adam, my trainer at Barwis was leaving.

The second time I openly sobbed was the last day I went to work before my last knee surgery. It was raining and my Mom was driving me to work. It ended up being the last day that I reported to work because then my doctor had me not go to work anymore and then I had surgery. And then I never went back to work.

The third time I openly sobbed was sadly, this morning. I was seated in my living room, and I had already washed my hands and taken my morning vitamins and then I got an overwhelming feeling, and I began to sob just for a little while before I could get myself under control. I was completely shocked! I think it is the prolonged heat that is doing this to me but I am not okay.

Dragonfruit Lemon

So, today, I debuted my new summertime flavor, Dragonfruit Lemon. It took me a few applications to realize that I really dig it! Like, a lot!!! I know that I have written before about other summer flavors that remind me of the festival at my grade school the summer.
This flavor also reminds me of summer, but not great school summer. I am in college!

I told my Mom that I am driving around my college campus (back when I could drive. That is such a crazy sentence! but it is fitting) in the summer. I loved summer classes! I was talking to my Mom today about the crazy schedule I had for myself in order to teach the following fall.

I had a goal! My goal was to be teaching by the time Sean was in kindergarten. I surpassed that goal because we moved out of my parents house when he started summer preschool at the Dearborn Early Learning Center. I haven’t really thought about my summer classes in a long time.

Think that that is a story for another time because I’m thinking about that time but it has been 19 years since I graduated the first time in 14 years since I graduated the second time.

I pillaged today. I think it is this heat that is making me feel terrible and causing me to take longer to pillage. I think I am going to reapply my chapstick now! I really dig it!