Stunned Silence.

I will have had my blog for 10 years in November. I originally started my blog to tell Parker how I was doing at Barwis Methods. After my injury, I still wanted to chronicle my recovery. Physical therapy and all of that. Now that I am no longer working, I use it more for my sanity.

I share what’s going on with me after having had the MS for 22 years. I really feel that 22 years is a turning point! I have never had MS for 22 years so all of this is new to me but I will tell you that I do not like it at all! It is all very startling!!!

I remember overhearing two foreign men yelling at each other when I was about eight years old. They had just gotten in a car accident and they both were hanging out of their driver side window calling each other, “Mother b*tch!” My Mom doesn’t like me calling it that but that is what it is!!!

I had, “A first” after 22 years of having this disease. I have been writing about this new occurrence for a couple of months now I think. But then, I had an experience. I didn’t really like it. It made me uncomfortable!

Last Wednesday, my brother stopped in as my Mom was making my gruel. I first told my brother about the trifecta I am dealing with right now. I am dealing with issues with my chewing, seeing, and speaking.

I have been addressing all of these things since they started. I just met with my Speech Pathologist and I will meet with my nutritionist on March 8. I bought more contacts because I still am wearing the daily contacts. I will meet with Dr. Harris, hopefully in June, but I don’t think my prescription will change even though my vision is.

He listened intently and my Mom walked over to show him what I eat. He was silent. It was a sort of stunned silence. I have joked with my Mom that I only eat ‘hard tack and gruel’ because I really do.

I called my friend because she dropped Girl Scout cookies off that I ordered from her daughter the day before. We worked together and we partied together and I told her what I eat and I heard the stunned silence again. That does not sit well with me at all! I have written about it and personally I’m trying to work through it as well.

I don’t think I will say the words to people anymore because that was painful to see their reaction but I’m sure I will write about it because I need to work through all of these changes and they are coming at me fast and so hard!!!