Modified OR Deliberate

So, I have been experiencing ‘real time’ ability loss. The loss that I am currently experiencing is a little bit different than constantly dropping my pen in my last classroom where I would tell the student who sat there that they would have to pick up my pen a lot. This is MORE than that!

I think I really noticed it a few days ago and my Mom kind of got irritated until I explained to her what was going on. What I am experiencing now is more complete hand strength deterioration. I cannot hold on to basically anything now!

I was realizing that I was having a problem with my hand strength because brushing my teeth was becoming extremely difficult! I was brushing my teeth too hard so you can figure out what was happening when I spit.

I ordered an electric toothbrush last October and it ended up dying because I was holding it and pressing too hard on my teeth. Now, I have a new electric toothbrush, (that my brother bought for me) because I can’t afford another one seeing that I am on a fixed income.

But yesterday, I had to fill my pillbox. I talked about a modified pillage which was me very slowly putting each pill in its proper place. That process is extremely deliberate now so much so that Leia gives me the ‘poop face’ as I do it because it has been a couple Saturdays since I have dropped any pills.

Any movement with my hands is very deliberate now and I have been squeezing my therapy putty all year. So, I have to be deliberate whenever I am holding anything. I guess my whole life is modified now! I’m really not sure how I feel about that…