Month: June 2022

I AM HIS Daughter?!

I saw this post on Facebook today and I wanted to share it here because this post made me think of my Dad.

My Mom and I were talking a few weeks ago. She was putting clothes into the wash and I was sitting in the living room where I normally sit in my wheelchair. I’m not even sure how this conversation started but she was telling me about going grocery shopping with my Dad. She told me that she only went shopping with him once and then decided that they would shop individually after that experience. She told me that he is very particular about putting the items into the cart in an orderly fashion where as she just throws them in.

I have witnessed my Mom loading up the grocery cart and everything is all willy-nilly! She finished putting the clothes in the wash and then walked over to the kitchen. That’s when she told me about their differences with loading the dish drainer. It was here where I had to stop her!!!

I very calmly let her know that I side with my Dad both times! It has become more apparent to me now that my Mom is staying with me how much I am like him! It is more than just loading up the grocery cart or filling the dish drainer!

I realized another similarity between us recently. When my Mom and me were leaving the emergency room last Thursday, I commented that I wished I would have been admitted because then I could have gotten Lorna Doones! I said that because I have only eaten Lorna Doone cookies at the hospital.

The first multiple day stay I had at a hospital was when I was diagnosed with MS 21 years ago. That was when I first was offered Lorna Doones. I liked it well enough and I remember when I was staying at the hospital after having Sean that I had some more.

Well, my Mom is the BEST caregiver in the entire world! So guess who picked some up for me at the grocery store not too long ago?! My Mom did and I was eating some yesterday!

It wasn’t until we were talking about it today then she commented about my Dad opening them very meticulously. she told me yesterday that I, “Looked just like Daddy!”

Today was the day when she expounding on the meticulousness of my Dad opening wrappers and we both laughed because I told her that is EXACTLY how it should be done!

So, here is a picture of the Lorna Doones and they NEED to be opened very meticulously! I just looked at her and this got another mutual laugh when I told her that, “I AM his daughter!!!

#MyGirlL: “Such a Sweet Girl!”

My Mom took Leia to the vet today because if you recall, she was a ’sickie’ just like me. But, unlike me, she is all better! My Mom sent me this picture as she was waiting for the vet:

I laughed because she always lays on the floor at home! I take it that she does not like the cooling mat I got her. I think I will look for a different one.

When her vet got into the room, she let Leia lick her face! I think that’s gross! She talked with my Mom about the fact that Leia does not have a good allergy medicine yet. She took Leia off of her eyedrops and eardrops but kept her on the prednisone because she is gradually stepping down off of it right now.

As she checked Leah out, she said that ”She is such a sweet girl! ” I am really happy that she is feeling better! I just wish that I was also feeling better by now as well!

“I Hate to See You Cry.”

This morning, after my Mom washed my feet, she started to put my socks back on and she looked at me and told me that, “I hate to see you cry.“

Tears come so easily now! I think it’s good that I no longer wear make up because that would be a mess but this hurts so badly! My Mom left to get more antibiotic because I only have one more pill. The ER doctor from last Thursday gave us the script because I’m sure he can tell how far from healing my feet are!

Even though my Mom tells me that my feet are getting better, they still hurt the same and I can’t see past it right now! At this point, I will tell anyone who has MS to make sure that they get an antibiotic immediately if there are sores of any kind.

And more importantly, be forceful about it! My Mom talked about getting me in an anti-biotic on April 19 to 2 different doctors and now, it is June 23 and I have two holes in my feet and all the pain and tears that accompany them!

Turned a Corner?

A few nights ago was really bad! When my Mom took my compression socks off, my heels bled! And it hurt a whole lot! It absolutely scared me! I have known about this ‘direct conflict’ I have with having a staff infection and having to wear compression socks all of the time.

That’s was crazy and I wasn’t sure what to do! My Mom told me that I have holes in my feet. It feels like I do!
I was extremely concerned for the next night!

My Mom rethought our strategy and she soaped my heels up while I still was wearing my compression socks to loosen everything up. That made her removing my socks a lot easier! I would say that my bloody heels were at like a 15 and removing my socks a couple days ago was probably at about a 4.

We did the same thing again last night and it seems to be working because it was like at a 3 yesterday. Cautiously, I think that we may have turned a corner but it takes so long for my body to heal! This is so difficult and it is killing both of us!!!

Rando Tune #13

I saw a post that my cousin had posted that wished my uncle Bob a Happy Father’s Day. I wished my uncle Bob a happy Father’s Day and right after I did that I had a crystal clear memory of driving back home from college with my cousin, Melissa. She is the reason I went there and both of our boyfriends were staying closer to our house so we made that drive often. We would switch off who would drive and we had a great conversation on the way.

I was driving and Cheese (my cousin) was sleeping in the passenger seat. She had already told me that she did not like the new Nelly Furtado song which I absolutely loved and would hear it all the time at the rec center!

So, she is sleeping and it comes on the radio. Every time I heard that song, I HAD TO jam to it! So I slowly turned it up one notch at a time. Her eyes were still closed and she just turned over a little bit and she told me, “I hear that.”

I remember watching this video in my room in my dorm and this bothered me but I thought the numbers were in white:

This song has been in my head since I wished my uncle a happy Father’s Day:

Idea!

Last night, as we were getting ready for bed, my Mom let me know that she had an idea! She was thinking about washing my feet last night. She told me that when she takes my socks off, it rips the scab off, she suggested that we loosen the scab a bit by putting a wet, warm compress on the outside of my socks.

I will say that it definitely hurts a whole lot when the socks come off of my heels so I was okay with trying that out. So that is what she did last night.

There are a couple of tweaks that we need to enact tonight. She only kept as a warm compress on my ankle for maybe like five minutes. It’s soften the scab a little bit but it still hurt the same amount! But instead of my feet looking like they did yesterday, it changed to this:

I am not sure that I ever will eat a tortellini noodle again. My Mom doesn’t think that’s a good comparison but I do! It lets me be removed from how much it actually hurts because it is excruciating and taking its sweet time healing!!!

Raw

I have not awaken crying for the past two days. I see that as improvement but today, my feet feel raw! You see, because I have to wear compression socks because I do not have good blood flow in my legs, every night when my Mom takes my socks off to wash my feet, it rips off the scab!!! I just grab my guts to handle it!

My Mom takes pictures every day of my feet to chronicle the progression and we will talk to the wound care clinic about future pressure sores because I think that’s part of the progression of my disease. I am just sitting here in pain! It feels like when I was a child and we would have to dry the dishes. We would have to dry the cheese grater and that was always difficult because my hand would always scrape the ‘cinnamon grater’ we never used that but it’s opposite the cheese grater.

So, today, it feels like my heels keep hitting the cinnamon grater side of the cheese grater. It hurts!!! When my mom showed me pictures of my feet today, all I could think of was tortellini. This is what it looked like:

It really hurts!!!

My First…

I am so exhausted but I wanted to let you all know that I had a first yesterday. I wore my very first Matthew Stafford article of clothing!

I think that I ordered this shirt in April which is months after the Super Bowl so it was half off! I had to get it! I rocked it yesterday and I was so excited to show Sean that I am actually wearing a Matthew Stafford t-shirt. 😍😍😍

This van rental excursion for this month was a bust because I did NOT get my haircut and I did NOT go to my eye appointment but I still think it was productive! Once my hairdresser had to cancel my appointment for my wax and cut, my Mom was able to take the van and get her hair colored! I canceled my eye appointment to go to the emergency room which proved to be a good thing because I did not end up in the hospital!

I told my Mom when she commented on the look on my face this morning that she got an award but I got at least another month of excruciating pain!!! Yesterday when I told Sean that this is my first Matthew Stafford shirt, this song popped into my head because who doesn’t love some Barry?!:

I’m going to try to make another appointment for next month but I really can’t see that well now and I’m tired!!!

Rando Tune #12

Okay, this song did NOT randomly pop up in my head but I have my Gavin DeGraw playlist on as my Mom is laying down and I am closing my eyes because we are both EXHAUSTED!!! I heard this song come on and I can see myself sitting at the dining room table in my first apartment! It’s such a jam and it’s spring time and I’m staring out of the doorwall at the greenery…:

I was living at our first apartment the very first time I took garbage out in my life! I was 23 years old and people who came over just took it out to the end of the parking lot when they left. I had a bag there for a while so I took it myself! But then Sean got older and we moved to a different apartment where it was just on the other side of our carport and he could do it. So I didn’t have to do it anymore!: