Last night, as my Mom was covering me put my comforter as I was going to sleep. She told me some things that she had never told me before. Or, if she did, she didn’t give me as much detail as she did last night. So, in other words, last night, my Mom told me that she and my Dad talked about how my disease would play out.
here is the thing, the day I was diagnosed, they gave me an arm full of books to read about my diagnosis. I threw them in the backseat and went to go see my boyfriend. I didn’t think anything more about them except when I brought them into the house. But what I did not know was that my Dad read the books. I stopped reading about MS very early on because it’s all depressing but my Dad read it all and asked my Mom if she wanted to hear about it. She declined but she told me last night the extent of their conversation.
So, as she was covering me to go to sleep, she just told me what the conversation was. My Dad was a man of few words and the word he used in their conversation was, “Yeah.” He told my Mom that this diagnosis was bad and she asked him if it will be expensive and he replied, “Yeah.” And my Mom was kind of what’s startled and said, “We have to help her!?!” And my Dad said in response, “Yeah.”
With a blog post title such as it is, you would think I would have an Usher video clip because I have posted that song many times on my blog thus far. That song always reminds me a Barwis. But, for this post, I feel it deserves so much more reverence because i’m uncertain about where I need to go in terms of getting a bed more suitable for people with MS. And for having had MS for 21+ years, I think this development has been the MOST difficult to deal with at this point. It’s not that I haven’t dealt with TONS of things that are difficult, DAILY, but this one is just a little bit harder! I’m glad that my Dad knew that this day was coming 16 years ago, before he died, and he spoke about it with my Mom.
I could hear my Dad saying, ‘yeah’ as my Mom told me about their conversation and it kind of comforted me and say what is drifting off to sleep. It looks like the time is come for me now, Daddy.
[I am hearing him say ‘yeah’ as I write this]