I listened to my Apple Music playlist again as I brushed my teeth last night. I heard this song and was immediately taken back to my freshman year at Western! As I listened to the words last night, 20 years later, this song is different for me now. Back when the song first came out these were the lyrics I really dug!:
Of course these words made sense to a bright eyed college freshman!:
but then my diagnosis had started catching up to me as I was facing my life as a single mother:
And these words got me through it! To be called “Darling” and “Baby,” but I heard something different last night:
So this song was written for me specifically but this is what I heard yesterday that made me cry because I was not jumping either but here we are. Looking at 21 years of having this disease and it is difficult!
And I hear Bono saying this to me now:
So, I have been having a difficult time as of late but Bono’s voice has been keeping me sane
I recorded the Buccaneers and Rams game. I saw the final score on Sunday but I didn’t watch the game until yesterday. This morning I watched the Terry Bradshaw interview with Matthew Stafford. I’m going to put it here as a reference for you all if you did not see it:
I first became a Detroit Lions fan at this time:
This was a picture from Sean‘s first year playing peewee football for the Dearborn Lions. When I saw their first game, it was just a bunch of little kids pushing each other. I was a big football fan in high school and I knew all of the positions (because I was dating the quarterback) but it had been a while since I knew what the positions were. I couldn’t figure out watching the kids play so I started watching the Detroit Lions to get a better feel of the game. This was in 2009. The year that Matthew Stafford started playing for Detroit.
I really got into it because my son was playing so I needed to understand the game and I immediately had a super big crush on Matthew Stafford! I was extremely saddened when he was traded! The trade really put things into perspective for me and I didn’t know who my team would be after that. I don’t recognize any of the Lion’s players now which bothers me. I watched the first Rams game and saw the highlights from the second game. A programmed my DVR to record the box and rams.
Frankly, I’m a bit overwhelmed that my man won! I sent this text to Sean and two friends from high school.
Sean responded with these texts:
I knew it would be a good game but I needed to wait to watch it. I watched it yesterday and before I did, I saw tweets from GMFB because —#MSsucks! So I can no longer watch it live and live tweet them during the show but instead I will see the tweets later in the day. Before I watch the game, I saw this:
I remembered when Golden Tate said that Matthew Stafford was the best quarterback that he received passes from and that was after he had played with Russell Wilson! I knew that he had it in him! One friend from high school texted me this:
I have always liked Kurt Warner! To see this comparison kind of overwhelmed me and I texted it to my other friend. Here was his response to me :
This friend has known that I have loved Matthew Stafford the whole time and had tons of faith in him! To see it come to fruition it’s a bit overwhelming as well but also a little sad that he couldn’t do that for us here in Detroit!
I just finished watching the Buccaneers playing the Rams. I have no words. I need to ponder this for a while! Can I just say that I knew that my man had it in him!!! I’ve always known that! Since 2009!!! 💯😍💯
So, last night when my Mom was transferring me back into my wheelchair for the last time, my left leg sometimes will get caught between my leg rests and it hurts!
Here’s the thing, transferring can be extremely tricky seeing that my Mom and me are the same height! She can’t see you over my shoulder to see where my legs are. So she just pushes me into the chair and I have my arms around her neck and sometimes a yell out when it hurts!
So, she transferred me for the last time probably about 1:30 in the morning (DON’T judge us!) she had already put Leia’s bed Sean‘s room to go to sleep. (That’s where my Mom sleeps now) But when #MyGirlL heard me yell out in pain, she got out of her bed and ran to the doorway of the room to see what was going on in the hallway where my Mom was transferring me.
She looked expectantly at us as if to say, “How can I help?! I looked at her and chuckled. I said some thing like, “Ih baby, I am okay.” My mom kind of laughed too and how sweet it was that she came out to see what was going on. I think it’s crazy that I never knew that I would love a dog so much! Because #MyGirlL is so sweet!
Today, I tried my fourth fall flavor of Chapstick. I have to say, I am NOT a fan!:
I am still going to use it but it reminds me of a nasty Girl Scout cookie that came out when I was probably in fifth grade.
I remember this for a couple of reasons. My Girl Scout troop, (Troop 2348) had a cookie booth at our local grocery store. I’m pretty sure it was at Boji’s (which is no longer a store and I’m sure only people who lived in Dearborn 20 years ago remember it). I’m thinking it was the day Mr. Rubino (the math teacher at my school) came to the store. He bought a box of Girl Scout cookies from us!
But that year, a new cookie came out. It was gross! (didn’t my hold a candle to my thin mints!) I remember that it was time to close the booth down toward the evening and a man came up to the booth as we were closing and asked if we had a box of Samoas. We did not but, Mrs. Maher (my troop leader) had bought a box and was going to take it home. So when that man wanted a box that she was planning on taking home, she gave him the box and took the gross cookies home.
Each time I reapply this Chapstick, I think of that time of being a kid and seeing our teacher outside of school! I wish I could remember what cookie that was but it had bits of pecans in it and it was dipped in maple? But, I bought this flavor with Vanilla Maple so maybe I will just have to muddle through it because I like the taste of Vanilla Maple! Ah, The important questions that I seem to ponder these days as my face and hand are still numb?!
So, I re-posted this memory from four years ago on Facebook today when I woke up. It’s kind of crazy how now, it’s like I am a teenager who sleeps in all day. But sleep is hard to come by now and I have already tried to, “Schedule my MS“ to no avail so I just have to accept that after 20 years of having MS, I have to sleep the morning away. Don’t even get me started about GMFB! So, I reposted this:
I left it in the fact that Ms. Graybill liked my post. As my high school English teacher, she only knew me as, “Jenny.” I bring this up because I tried a new fall flavor of Chapstick today.
I chose:
As soon as I peeled off the seal, and popped the top open, I immediately smelt a smell from my high school days! It was lotion from Bath and Bodyworks, Warm Vanilla Sugar!
Even though the weather has calmed down a little bit, I’m really digging these fall flavors! But most especially, I appreciate you thinking about my high school. You know, back when I was able-bodied!
My house is freezing, yo!!! My Mom went to the local hardware store to get A new filter because it’s been a while since we changed it! It seems that a lot has been going on so changing my furnace filter falls to the wayside! I have heat now! I’m loving it!
Because it’s necessary to have heat, I am going with my second fall flavor of chapstick:
I chose Chai. It’s likable but I think I prefer Pumpkin Spice. I am not going to let any chapstick go to waste so maybe I’ll have to wait until next year to choose a flavor to buy.
I woke up this morning to complete my usual routine. I put a little bit of my Sweet Mandarin chapstick on. I continued my morning routine of taking my vitamins, drinking my Atkins shake, drinking my water. I decided it was a little chilly.
My Mom and I completed our abridged version of getting me ready for the day because she had a hair appointment. Once I was situated back into my place, I made the executive decision of starting my fall Chapstick today:
I oted for Pumpkin Spice and I have found that was NOT a bad decision! I’m cold, yo!!! I am so cold that I decided to wear a winter hat today. It is the first day I am doing this and since it is the first day of fall it seems to make sense! I was reminded of that fact when I saw this post in my memories on Facebook:
I clearly remember that day when my boy was so young! Each time I press my lips together, I am reminded of a chai tea which I really like! Drinking liquids is not really NOT a thing I can do anymore (aside from my morning water) and I appreciate having the taste and smell.
I am currently wearing my Detroit Lions hat which makes me feel a little bit weird. I DID watch the Lions’ game Monday night with Sean but I don’t recognize the team. That’s a very strange to me and I do not have any Rams gear yet.
I also really appreciate that I can busy myself with a chapstick choice so that I can ignore the fact that my entire face and head is numb. It was crazy getting my hair washed yesterday! I am choosing to think about chapstick flavor to not think about the fact that my face and hands are numb. My Mom told me that they look, “Normal” but they feel FAR different!
Lately, I’ve been sleeping a large part of the day away. I told my Mom yesterday, that I wanted to get up at 11:30. 11:30 came and went. She came back at 12 and I told her 12:15. I heard her say from my doorway that it was 12:11. I have responded with a closed eyes, “12:30.” When 12:30 arrived, I waved my Mom off. I ended up getting out of bed at about 1 o’clock. The one thing I DIDN’T want to do!
As I started my morning routine of taking my vitamins, drinking my water and protein shake, and brushing my teeth, my Mom told me that, “You can’t schedule your MS!” I took what she said to heart and realized that I pretty much have been doing that since the get-go!
I was diagnosed during my freshman year of college and I didn’t start teaching until five years after my diagnosis. I pushed myself in college and the entire time I taught. When we moved into our house, in 2009, I began waking up at 4:30 in the morning in order to give myself enough time to get ready for the day and to be at work by 7:15. My colleagues would joke with me because I don’t drink coffee and they couldn’t understand why I was so awake as they drank theirs. I would laugh and tell them that it was noon for me because I had been awake since 4:30 this morning.
As the years went by, I had already established that I needed a first hour prep period. So it got to the point where I needed to be to work by 8 o’clock before second hour started. Eventually, after I was injured, I had to throw in the towel!
I was happy that my Mom told me to NOT put my MS on a schedule because I did not wake up until about 2 o’clock this afternoon. With the coming rain for the next couple days, that makes sense to me. I feel terrible when it rains and it has already started!
