Falling Apart

Sleep hasn’t come easy for me for years and I am not a morning person so it only makes sense that I am a night owl. I’m lucky that my best friend is also in a night owl as well and we text often during the night. She and I have had similar schedules for a really long time!

For me, at this point, it seems that having MS for over 20 years now, it’s taking it’s toll on me. It’s difficult to get ahead of the pain now! I was texting with another friend last night and he sent me this:

I responded with:

I fell asleep after texting this but I woke up this morning thinking about it. In essence, I AM falling apart and that scares me. As scared as I am of admitting that I am falling apart, I can’t get this song out of my head! Maroon 5 songs were in my June faves this month in my, “Tunes” tab:

I like this song and remember them performing in when I saw them in concert at DTE energy music theater. This song is not about at at all but I can make it so because these lyrics stick out to me:

As the pain worsens and I can’t get ahead of it.

The speech therapist called me today and left a message for me to call them back. My brother stopped by and hugged me (because we can because we are both vaccinated) and made sure to make fun of my glasses that I seem to be wearing a lot more often now!

This disease progression is scaring me but it’s going to come for me eventually. I also think of this lyric when I think about all of the deterioration of my abilities:

It seems that I have been waiting for 20 years and eventually, I always end up falling. “Falling” in this instance is losing my ability to complete simple tasks.