So, I saw my latest Facebook videos that are popping them and I felt okay with it. But last night, my eyes were hurting so I took my contacts out and while my mom was walking Leia, I am put my James Blunt playlist on shuffle. I wondered if I was a glutton for punishment:
After a while, I heard this song:
I texted that to Sean and he responded with this:
If I recall correctly, it was summertime and I listened to that song A LOT!!! At that point in my life, I was coping by eating 10 packs of Tim Bits! Sean was young and he just accompanied me to Tim Horton’s. It was not far from our apartment complex. I don’t think he knows to this day how broken I was but I like that we can laugh about it now because we made a memory!
This is the lyric that broke my heart:
Back in the day, this song tore me up but now, I just remember going to Tim Horton’s the with my little boy! Donuts are definitely my weakness!!! Sean cannot hear this song without making a joke:
Big Brother has been trying to get me by posting random songs in my Facebook feed but time has passed and I’m not falling for it. I don’t want to tease him because I know that he is powerful but there were a few songs that showed up and a long time ago, they would have broken me but I’m okay. So, Nice try? I guess getting older has its perks?
I saw a Tweet today that did not make me feel at ease:
I want to say that I became a diehard Lions fan in 2009 when Sean began playing football for the Dearborn Lions when he was seven years old. I started watching professional football, Lions football, when I couldn’t really understand what was going on while I watched Sean’s young team. It was a lot of pushing. In high school, I was a football fan but over the years I lost my knowledge a little bit. That’s why I decided to watch professionals play the game to re-introduce me to football and in the process, I fell in love with Matthew Stafford! I used to tell Sean that I would break all of my dating, “Rules” in order to date Matthew Stafford, before he got married, though he is six years younger than me!
I didn’t really watch football last season because my Mom is living with me and she does not enjoy it. However, last week when my Mom was taking Leia for a walk, I watch the first hour of the schedule release on the NFL network. I could not get over how white Steve Mariucci’s hair has gotten!!! But then Matthew Stafford was on! I texted my friend this:
His text back to me really got me thinking! I live right down the street from the Lions practice field! I have a signed Matthew Stafford jersey, that I received when I went to practice as a VIP that my Mom arranged. She also got Sean to get a signed football from Calvin Johnson!
I always have said how much I love Martha Ford’s sunglasses that she constantly wears and they are similar to mine which makes me think of Bono.
I have tons of Lions shirts and sweatshirts because I was outfitted when Sean played for the Lions. But now with all of the changes in the roster, I just don’t know. Did I find my team? How possible is it for me to be a real Rams fan when I live in Michigan?! I responded to my friend with this text:
When my Mom came back with Leia, I change the channel. I really don’t know what I am going to do this coming season but one thing I know is that I LOVE Matthew Stafford!
I am not ashamed to say that a couple nights ago, my Mom and I watched Happy Feet. Happy Feet was the very first movie I took Sean to see at a movie theater. My Mom and I took him. I texted him right after we were done watching it:
He texted me back with this:
I laughed when I read that because I clearly remember him being scared by the sea lion trying to eat Mumble. I was glad that I had the forethought to put his cup into the cupholder of my seat. He had his little kid’s tray of popcorn on his lap that went flying when he got scared by the sea lion! So many years later, we still laugh at it! Man, I love that kid!
On Wednesday night, I watched a movie of my Mom‘s choosing. She wanted to watch Sully so we watched it on Peacock or something. All I know is that there were commercials in it. My Mom HATES commercials! But, during the movie, pretty much the same commercials kept playing. I constantly got to see the iPhone 12 commercial:
I think this is great marketing for this product! It REALLY stinks that I just got my iPhone 11 in purple after rackin’ my iPhone 7s for a long time!
It may not look as cool but it is THE original! But watching that movie and seeing this commercial about six times, made me think about Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!!! So Wednesday night, I started thinking about Gene Wilder and I couldn’t remember how he died. I saw this article on my YouTube feed and I shared it on Facebook;
He died of Alzheimer’s and the article was very touching! Seeing that commercial so many times and hearing the Candyman song, it totally got me thinking about the fact that I haven’t seen that movie in a super long time! So of course, I watched it on Thursday! Friday! And Saturday!
My cousinT, Shannon, and I watched that in my aunt’s basement WAY TOO many times when we were WAY TOO old to watch it! We were in high school and we would act like Verruca Salt and arrange the pillows on the floor to kick around as we sang along with the TV! Watching this movie as a grown adult, I never realized how crazy Willy Wonka is! It’s quite amusing! I pretty much know this movie verbatim now!
I saw this meme a few days ago and I think it’s really sad that it has become so true in my life:
I used to wake up at 4:30 in the morning every weekday and take a shower each one of those days before I got ready for work. Fast forward a little over 20 years and now, my Mom has to wash my hair for me because I can’t keep my arms over my head for that long.
And since I have to have someone else wash my hair, I only wash it every other day. Sometimes, every third day if I am not feeling well enough. I think it’s crazy but this whole hygiene thing is now something I have to think about and weigh my strength and pain level and then to make the decision. For someone who used to shower every single day, The fact that I even have to think about this trade off really stinks and the fact that this is my life now.
So, I may have greasy hair but I also did this today:
I have gone through six or seven tubes of chapstick since the country shut down last year. I managed to go through all of my winter chapstick flavors and now I am ready for Summer with my summer chapsticks:
So, I may have dirty hair but my lips are soft! That has also become a thing now, I put chapstick on my lips all day because they feel dry and hurt. It’s all about perspective and I am rich with chapstick!
It was posted from my, “Spoonies” group. It is a post about people with chronic illnesses. I read what it said and that feels extremely true especially after 20 years with this disease! For the past couple of days, it seems like the stream is getting the best of me!
This is a very sad fact and something that really frustrates me! But yesterday, I couldn’t even chew my dinner. It seemed a low point for me and I thought I would just have to drink protein shakes for all of my meals. I’m kind of bummed about that so today, I didn’t even feel well enough to wash my hair!
I added the words, “Pretty much… 😒😒😒” it stinks how new things keep popping up even after 20 years but this is how things are now. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to get my hair washed!
I was talking to my Mom about the specific YouTube video I saw and I shared it with her. I am posting this on my blog now because my YouTube feed will be refreshed with U2 songs which I really enjoy!
Back when I shared this video with her, another video popped up that I thoroughly enjoyed and shared with her as well:
I shared this video with her because she really likes the, “Where the streets have no name“ video and that is a song she will listen to with me because she likes the video so much!
So now, I think my YouTube feed will be filled with U2 videos which I like a whole bunch! And, I need to add (which I overlook too often) but I think it is because I love Bono so much! But Adam Clayton is so cool! I remember seeing a video and they were playing their instruments and he was just nonchalantly plucking his base with a cigarette between his lips!
Big Brother it’s definitely trying his hardest to trigger tears from me! It’s in my Facebook feed that these songs show up. I’ve been thinking about the latest song that showed up for a few days now. This morning, I checked my phone to see what time it was because it was still dark outside and I saw this:
Seeing my Dad eyes staring back at me was extremely startling while I was half asleep and laying in my bed in my pitch black room.
Today, I have constantly been thinking about this song and remembering sitting in a booth at a restaurant whose name I cannot remember right now but I heard this song. It was kind of soon after my Dad’s death and it always makes me think of him.
back then, this line reminded me of him most:
My Dad has only visited me in my sleep a couple of times in the past 14.75 years that he has been gone but as I hear this song and searched the lyrics for this blog post, Big Brother has succeeded in making me cry but I can ALWAYS cry when I think of my Dad, just not immediately. Well you played, Big Brother!:
I received some news today at 1:36 p,m, that I have been having difficulty processing! I think I am overwhelmed. Since receiving this information, I have teared up and began crying with no way of stopping it. The tears just began streaming down my cheeks! I think if I write about that, that will help with my processing.
I changed my profile picture on Facebook yesterday to this because it was Mother’s Day:
I like this picture of us because in it, my Dad is sitting in his chair at the dining room table and my Mom is standing next to him and both me and Sean are next to them. I am Mexican and I come from a family of huggers!!! I have also made Sean a hugger as well!
During this pandemic, I recall very vividly when he was called back to work and had to leave my bubble with my Mom and me. In order to keep me safe, he was moving in with my nephews as he began to work again. I remember hugging him very tightly and crying because once he left my house, I wasn’t sure when I would be able to hug him again!
We talked on the phone and FaceTimed constantly after he left. Or, as much as is acceptable for a young man to talk to his mother. It has been frequent enough to satisfy me. I remember crying when I got vaccinated because I was safe from dying and I was one step closer to hugging him again! I wasn’t sure when that day would come because this pandemic has been stretching on forever!
But today, at 1:36 p.m. I received a text. Actually, this text was sent to both my Mom and to me from Sean:
Sean received his second shot today which means in two weeks, I will be able to hug him again!!! I sent this text to him with tears screaming out of my eyes:
We will have to coordinate the day with his work schedule but as of May 24th, I will be able to hug him again! So these tears have been tears of joy and while writing this, I still am super overwhelmed and still continue to cry in anticipation of hugging him again!
