One of the presents that Sean bought me a for my birthday was a book and I have been loving it and diligently reading it since my birthday. I am most saddened at how much things have changed. I posted this on Facebook a while ago;
I am COMPLETELY a book lover and I thought it was funny because I do all of those things! I used to teach reading and before that I taught English. I was completely devastated by the news of Beverly Cleary‘s death and both of my brothers whom I thought would remember the Whopper Burger song, did!!!
The book that Sean bought for me is 337 pages. I have read books this length before in one night by foregoing sleep. But here’s the thing now, I have had glasses for a while now. I have figured out that I need to wear them when I watch TV or when I use my phone. But, I wear glasses now in addition to wearing my contacts. My brother FaceTimed my Mom and he saw me wearing my glasses when I first got them and he called me, “Four eyes.” When I told him that I am still wearing my contacts in addition to wearing my glasses, he started to laugh and and called me, “ six eyes“ instead.
My vision has changed so much so now that I have figured out that I can only read my book when I first wake up and after I take my contacts out for the night. As I explained it to Sean, I think my eyes are a little bit stressed with my contacts in and couple that with wearing my glasses the stress makes it hard for me to focus on text in a book. So, my reading time is shortened during the day and even though the book I am reading is excellent, I am noticing now that I can’t read as fast as I used to be able to. I think my mind works a little slower now because having MS for 20+ years, now makes a difference. I have been reading this book every day since my birthday but I am just over 100 pages in. That fact saddens me.
I thought about this today because before I put my contacts in, after my Mom took Leia for a walk, she cut my nails. I have always grown nails pretty easily since I stopped biting them when I was like 10. I just let my nails grow until one of them breaks and I cut them all and then let them go again. Techs at the eye doctor would comment on my nail length before I took my contacts out to get my eyes dilated until they saw the ease with which I took my contacts out. I would smile at them and say that I’ve been doing it since I was 12 years old.
This is where 20+ years of having MS saddens me most! I love to read and I can’t read as easily as I used to be able to! Now, I have to pay attention to my nail length, something that I never did before. I can even cut my own nails now. My Mom has to, “Supervise” me putting my contacts in because the control I have over my hands isn’t as good as it used to be either. All of these changes really saddens me but they also let me know how fortunate I am to have my Mom here to help!