Conflicted

My first semester at U of M Dearborn, I was four months pregnant. After a huge mishap regarding my transcripts from my high school NOT being delivered to U of M, I think the new chancellor took pity on me and told me that I could drive to my high school which was probably about 10 minutes away, get my transcripts, bring them in a sealed envelope, and then I could be registered at U of M in time for the new semester that started the following Monday. It was Friday so time was of the essence!

Because I had only gone to Western for one year, U of M wanted my high school transcripts. I have so many memories of that day returning to my high school to get my transcripts and that was the first day I started wearing maternity clothes. I was such a strong student in high school that when I returned to the registration office, the chancellor unsealed the envelope and pulled my transcripts out. I think the paper was only about halfway out of the envelope when he looked at me and said, “Well, you’re in. Go make a, “Dummy” schedule and we will register you later.

I sat in a chair just outside of the window for the registrar’s desk and made my schedule. I already knew how to do that because my cousin helped me make my winter semester schedule at Western. One of the classes I chose was closed because it was already full so I just chose another class that fit in the same timeslot. I enrolled in a Women’s Studies class.

I chose that one because of the time slot but also because it filled one of my requirements for my degree. I have often told Sean that he did NOT like the class at all! That’s because of every class I sat in while I was pregnant, it was only in this class where Sean decided to kick, wildly I might add. He continued to do that throughout that semester and especially when I barely fit into the desk!

I really liked my prof and she asked us all once toward the end of the semester if after everything we had talked about in class if there was anything in our lives that made us feel conflicted with everything we have learned in the class.

I thought of this memory specifically because this morning, my Mom told me that she had just gotten avocados and asked me if I wanted it with dinner. Dinner is the only meal I eat these days because I drink both my breakfast and lunch because swallowing is still an issue! I thought for a moment and told my Mom that eggs and avocados sounded delicious! Both of those things are easy to chew! My Mom offered to make tortillas and how can I turn that away?!

The fact that I am eating eggs for dinner tonight made me think of the instance I shared with my Women’s Studies class that made me feel conflicted.

It was late morning and I still lived with my Parents. Two of my brothers came over and were sitting at the dining room table and were talking with my Dad. My Mom was making tortillas and she asked me to make the eggs for us all to eat. I had just awakened and I was still barefoot. I remember that I felt very strange because here I was, barefoot, pregnant, and making food for us to eat. Both me and my Mom we’re cooking as my brothers and my Dad sat at the table.

I remember laughing as I made the eggs because it was a strange situation to be in with me barefoot and pregnant and cooking with my Mom making tortillas! I’ve been thinking about that a lot today because I’m having eggs for dinner! I think it’s crazy how clear that memory still is to me almost 20 years later!