So, I have needed to use do you use medical supplies for the past 19 years. Once I got my first and only, “Big Girl” job, my health insurance paid for it. Once I stopped working, I had full Medicaid benefits. Then, they stopped. I have only recently learned that my full Medicaid benefits stopped once my son turned 18. My Mom and I have been on the phone for hours and hours trying to figure this out to enable me to receive my needed medical supplies. My Mom has been serving as my proxy since we have been sheltered in place at my house.
I needed her to be my proxy especially today because it was raining and I was miserable! Because we leave my front door open for Leia to see out of, I was reminded of my final day working because I heard the water on the car tires swishing as they drove by. I remember that sound as my Mom drove me to what would be my final day working. I didn’t know that it was my final day working but I knew that my knee was in excruciating pain and I could not handle it! As my Mom turned the corner from my house, I began to cry.
I have dealt with the pain of having MS and being in the rain but with my torn meniscus not surgically repaired yet. it was too much! I silently let my tears stream down my face until I got closer to my work. I was going to have to, “Grab my guts” and just deal with it in front of my students. Well, how I felt that day is how I felt this morning as well.
Thank God that my Mom was speaking for me as we were transferred from extension to extension trying to get the proper person. We were on the phone for close to two hours and it did a number on me! I had no idea what a, “Spend down” was until today but, it’s NOT good!
I will have to pay for my daily needed medical supplies until my deductible is met. It will be many months until I do that and that stressed me out! So much so, I drank my breakfast today. But I say that I drank my breakfast, I mean that I had a protein shake; NOT that I got drunk! Drinking a protein shake is a lot easier for me then chewing when I feel so badly!
After we completed our routine today, The rain continued and I very much felt it in my body! I drank my lunch today as well. I feel just awful today! I scrolled through Facebook for a short time and saw this picture shared by my friend and fellow MS Warrior:
Today is the day I COMPLETELY feel like this! It didn’t help much that after all of the phone calls, I still needed to pay a lot of money considering being on disability, I only get a little bit of money each month, for sure! I think the rain just compounded my frustration but it can‘t rain every day and I am taking advice from Milli Vanilli right about now to get me through: