“It’s You!”

My Mom and I used to listen to Christmas music as I got ready for the day with her help. The day after Christmas, I shared her playlist with her. I had made a playlist on Apple Music titled, “Mom/Abuela” and since it’s not Christmas anymore, we listen to that. I made that playlist a couple ofyears ago because I wanted to have a 65th birthday party for her. I made this playlist for her of all the songs that she likes and my brother, Ray, helped me with songs that she liked that were recorded before I was born. I added a few more contemporary songs as well.

My Mom ended up putting the kabaush on my plans for that party because she didn’t want to be the center of attention. In retrospect, that was good anyway because that was the year that I was fired. Anyway, I still have the playlist in my phone and so we listen to it as she helps me get ready for the day. She doesn’t like my music and sometimes we listen to my Dad’s playlist.

Today, she wanted to listen to her playlist. It’s comprised of songs I remember her singing with while she cleaned the house or hearing it when we drove in the green station wagon. She will constantly ask me if I know the song playing which I never do If it was a song suggested by my brother, Ray. She is astonished that I don’t know the artist and she will look it up. How can I know the artist’s name of a song that was released eight years before I was born?!

Today, my Mom told me about when I was born. She’s told me stories about this day many times and what I will always take away from it is the fact that she had me, “naturally.“.She has told me that if she had my oldest brother, “naturally”, he would be an ONLY child. She also would re-count how it was the first birth where my Dad would cut the cord and give the baby their first bath.

Today, she told me what my Dad said when I was born. My Mom has always told me that she pushed incorrectly when she gave birth to me and ended up popping all of the blood vessels in her face. She told me that my Dad was supposed to be her coach but he didn’t do ANY coaching!

One regret I have is never having had asked my Dad about what it was like. I never heard it from him, in his own words. My Mom told me today that once I came out, he sighed and said, “My family is complete.“ My Mom had her heart set on having a girl and kept trying to have one until her fifth pregnancy. She had resigned herself to having five boys and my Dad had already closed up shop. Because my Mom had pushed incorrectly, she said that she was so tired she couldn’t even lift up her arms. She always tells me that my Dad held me because she couldn’t.

For some reason, today, as she told me that my Dad replied to her inability to hold me by looking at me and telling me something along the lines of, “ it’s okay, honey, I got you.‘. I’ve heard that story so many times but today, as she spoke I could feel tears sting my eyes.

The playlist is about four hours long so I just put it on shuffle as we complete our morning routine. After a couple of weeks of listening to it, she noticed that I did not have any Stevie Wonder on the playlist. I told her that I could add some of his songs onto it. A few weeks ago, I put the “Stevie Wonder Essentials” playlist on my phone so she could choose the songs she wanted to have on her playlist. She wanted to add this song.

She has told me so many times at how excited she was to finally have a girl and the fact that she would change my outfit all of the time when I was a baby. She has told me that she smiled for three months after I was born. When she chose this song, I recognized it but the words she said next completely left me speechless! I said something about who he is singing about being lovely and then I kind of like this song and my Mom told me, “It’s you!”

Hearing those words really SHOCKED me! We didn’t hear that song today as she helped me get ready for the day but talking about my Dad and my birth made me thank of this song and miss him so much more!