Awakened by Random Cosmos at 4:34 am.

I am used to being awakened by  my MS pain in the middle of the night by now, even knee pain by now but tonight by some random cosmos at 4:34 this morning I was awakened by a combination of both. That, and I REALLY miss my Dad.  I have a playlist of all of the songs that remind me of him.  It starts with:

“El Rey”   Jose Alfredo Jimenez

I came across a shortened, translated version here.  The song TRULY IS my Dad even though he had a Queen in my mother but I STILL cry and cry…

I hit “shuffle” on the play list hoping to fall back to sleep with some cathartic tune… it was:

“Sometimes You Can’t Make it on Your Own”  U2

So, I listened to it, cried, and was reminded of driving to work in the dark just after he died, listening to that song on loop, crying the whole way there, putting my sunglasses on in the dark before I went into the building because my eyes were red and my face splotchy.  Well, it’s after 5 now.  I just had to write this post and send it off into the cosmos because it’s cathartic.

Cathartic: providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis.
“crying is a cathartic release”

so yeah… maybe I can get some sleep now.  Happy Thanksgiving.