So that “wonky-ness” went from being wonky, to being painful and bruising (a larger, different color bruise) to cancelling my Wednesday appointment at Barwis.  My Mom talked to Elle (who talked to Dan) and I they ended up cancelling my Monday appointment too.  All of this sounds familiar.  NOT a good January!  I texted Jesse about my leg and we figured I strained it again.  I asked him, “A muscle strained is a muscle gained, right?”  He replied, “D*mn right!”

I wasn’t scheduled last Friday.  Sue, Claire, and I worked on the black table that was furthest from the roll down door.  My legs weren’t that stiff even though I hadn’t been to Barwis in 5 days.  Sue and I were able to start our PNFs pretty quickly and I was satisfied with my showing  because I saw how surprised Nick was with my current ability so I had confidence.  Sue explained that because we saved a lot of time with the stretching that we would work on the shuttle.

She helped me sit up and I sat up straight once she let me go.  It seemed easy and Claire commented on how well I was sitting up.  I told her that I never thought that it would be so difficult to sit up straight and I also can’t believe easy it would be.  Then I looked at her and furrowed my eyebrows because I realized how oxymoronic that statement was.  She laughed and told me that she understood what I meant.  Back when I was able-bodied, I would never have imagined how difficult just sitting up would be.  When I became disabled, and have remained there for 15 years, I never would have imagined how easy it could be.  It was on Monday.

Sue helped me back into my chair and pushed me over to the shuttle.  It’s pretty involved to get me down onto the shuttle so both Sue and Claire helped me with a lot of readjustments.  I was able to activate my “super quads” to straighten my legs and deactivate them and activate my hamstrings to bend my knees and slide down.  It was strange though, in my extensions, my right leg felt a bit wonky…

I was excited because I was working with Nick Montoni on Wednesday.  I haven’t worked with him since the summer so I wanted to see if he saw any difference in my ability.  We went to the black table in the middle of the 3 black tables.  Nick had me sit at the edge of the table while he worked on my ankles.  He stretched me before we started PNFs.  Chet sat behind me to keep the wedges I was leaning back against in place and Claire came over to hold the opposite leg in place as Nick stretched the other one.

I asked Nick if he saw Heather at school (she’s back at CMU to get her master’s).  He told me that he did often and that she said “Hi.”  I smiled at that.  Then we started PNFs.  PNFs are routine to me now and when Nick lifted my leg, I was able to pull it all the way down as I’ve been doing for the past few months.  But Nick hasn’t been here the past few months and he raised his eyebrows in surprise and that also made me smile.  He bent my knee and I was able to take a picture of “Wacky Sock Wednesday” #38:

My friend Hope got me these socks for Christmas and it was nice to be able to wear them for a “Wacky Sock Wednesday.”  As my time ended, my legs felt warm and loose.  Seeing Nick’s looks of surprise at my showing made me feel good and reinforced that I am progressing.  It’s just SO slowly that I can’t easily see it.

I worked with Sue and Claire on Monday on a table that was close to the Keiser wall mount.  The table isn’t normally there and Sue said we were going to work there so we’d be able to use the wall mount. We did our normal PNFs after I showed her the picture of my leg and how it looked last week by it was better now.  I told her also that my right butt cheek still hurt though.  Claire laughed and I told her how my right leg has ALWAYS been my “poop leg.”  I turned onto my stomach to do quad and hamstring PNFs and Jesse’s song came on.

It’s not the Jesse song that I have previously put on the blog that I have never heard it at Barwis  but one where I will FOREVER remember him dancing to it.  We were joking around.  I was sitting in my wheelchair at the Keiser machine and Phil was with us and Jesse hiked his shorts up over his knees and stuck his butt out and started dancing.  I laughed and laughed.  We all did.  Anytime I hear the beginning beat of Juvenile’s “Back That A** Up” at Barwis, I always smile and say, “Jesse!”  and can remember that day my first summer at Barwis when he was joking around and dancing.  Claire asked who Jesse was and I told her that he was my first trainer.  Sue says that she didn’t know him because she came after he left.

When we finished the PNFs, Sue had me flip over and she slipped the cuff to the Keiser machine on my left foot.  I was supposed to pull my leg completely down.  I did it but it was difficult!  I asked Sue how much weight it was and she told me that it was 11 pounds.  I told her it felt like 500 and she laughed and she that was what she meant to say.  I did these extensions with Nick Lucius awhile ago but then I only had 5.5 pounds of air resistance.

I texted Jesse and told him about hearing his song and my 11 pounds of air resistance.  He laughed about the song and said the 11 pounds was “actually pretty good.”  I told him that It really was! But the progress is SO slow that it is frustrating but I’m still progressing!

So that “wonky” feeling in my right groin turned to pain.  That pain continued so much so that I cancelled my Monday appointment.  I thought a couple more days of rest would do me some good… Well, it didn’t.  A dark purple bruise set-in in that “couple more days” so I had to cancel my Wednesday appointment as well.  NOT a good start to the new year!!!  It’s frustrating to say the least!

I worked with Sue and Claire (an intern) on Monday.  It was my MS diagnosis anniversary so I didn’t feel great emotionally.  As Sue stretched me out, I recounted the events of my diagnosis 15 years ago.  Neither Sue nor Claire have heard this story and I’ve recounted it a number of times – as if I could forget that day!  I told them what that diagnosing doctor said (“You have MS. You’re going to go blind and then you’re going to die.) Then I told them what I said (mostly to myself, I didn’t know that I even said it out loud) (“I’m gonna have a baby.). They both reacted as everyone who hears that story.  They were in disbelief.  Granted, that doctor had a horrible bedside manner to tell a scared eighteen year old and her mother that she had a chronic neurological disease, a debilitating one, the way she did but it really stinks that she HAD to tell me I had it.  It STINKS to have it.

Sue continued to stretch me out and became “The Human Shuttle” again while we did our PNFs.  Then she had me sit up while Claire kept time on her watch.  I think it’s strange how it is SO DIFFICULT just to sit up straight but it is SLOWLY getting easier because of the nightly crunches as advised by Jesse and Phil to strengthen my core and I got myself a 6 lb. medicine ball for Christmas to work on all the A.R. exercises that I’ve done with Mike Morfitt at Barwis.   Sue didn’t have to have her hands on me to adjust my shoulders but instead could just tell me verbally as she stood a few steps away.

I sat straight up by myself for 12 minutes!  My core muscles were sore but I stood up 5 times.  Sue had my right arm and Claire had my left arm.  We tried a few times but I couldn’t get my hips (a.k.a my BIG BUTT) under me fully so Sue had Chet come over with the stretchy green band to put around my hips so he could help by puling me forward as I stood up so my hips could get under me.  We did this 5 times and I was spent!  My legs felt warm and loose and that felt good as my Mom drove me to my house.  But as we drove, my right groin began to feel a bit wonky….

My Mom pushed me into Barwis and we headed to the tables.  I ran right into Nick Montoni!  He was back and finished with college.  We hugged and he asked how my hamstring was.  I pushed myself over to where Sue was.  It had been one week since I had been to Barwis.  Sue asked how I felt as she wiped the table off and I told her that surprisingly, I didn’t feel bad.  She and Chet (a new intern) helped me onto the table and she stretched me out where almost immediately we began our PNFs.  Jake was there (my fellow Bronco) and Jon.  Megan yelled greetings to me as she was working with someone nearby.

Sue had me flip over onto my stomach and I used my hamstrings to push my leg down, flat on the table.  Then she would stretch my hip by pulling my knee up and had me pull my knee down to the table which I could do with LOTS of grunting on my part.  Sue told me that we were going to go over to the shuttle and that she was surprised that my legs didn’t feel that bad (referring to tightness).  She helped me sit up and I remained sitting for a while before transferring to my wheelchair.  I never thought sitting upright would be SO difficult but it is.  I sat for a little while and then transferred and Sue pushed me to the shuttle.

Sue and Chet helped me onto the shuttle and Sue adjusted me once I was seated.  Sue told me which muscles I needed to activate to straighten my legs (my quads) and how I need to turn them off and activate my hamstrings to bend my knees and slide down.  I straightened my legs with ease but was having difficulty changing up and turning my quads off and activating my hamstrings.  Sue was impressed with my “super quads” and I could tell because she was beaming.  I completed each rep so well that she added one band for my second set.  I completed them nicely but the set took longer.  She asked if I wanted to take the band off so I could, “bang ’em out.”  I agreed so we took the band off.  I closed my eyes, said, ” Activate: Suer Quads!” and banged the reps out.  It felt REALLY good that Sue was so happy with my performance!  I was tired but felt good as my Mom helped me into the car.