I didn’t go work Monday. My body reacted crazily to the weekend full of rain this past weekend. I was faced with decisions having to be made because of my changing abilities due to MS. MS sucks!!! It was almost time to go to Barwis and I was quiet. I get into my car and wanted to hear this Gavin DeGraw song so at every stoplight before I get to the freeway, I grabbed some CDs from the compartment in the center console of my car and searched for the correct Gavin DeGraw CD. A couple of summers ago (right when I started working at Barwis) I went to a The Script, Gavin De Graw, Train concert with my cousin, Shannon. In order to prepare, I stocked my car FULL of ALL of their CDs. The CDs are STILL in my car. I couldn’t remember which CD the song was on so I just put in whichever Gavin DeGraw CD I pulled out. The song was on the 3rd CD I pulled out and listened to. Such GREAT songs on ALL of those CDs!!!
The song is pretty mellow but I wanted to hear it. I played it A LOT when Phil left because I dug the line, “You don’t have look back; but if you ever do, you know where I’m at” because I am a “lifer” at Barwis, I’m there – at the Barwis Methods in Plymouth. I got out of my car on my own and pushed myself to the chairs because the roll-down door was open. Nick came to get me and kneaded my calves while I sat in my chair. He said my legs were pretty tight. I knew it! I was pretty stressed. When I got on the table, he stretched me like Mike used to like I’m sitting like a man. Then he had me lay on my stomach. Heather came by and heard me grunting. She asked if it hurt and I could just say with eyes closed and through gritted teeth, “Hurts so good!”
Nick helped me into my car easily and saw all the CDs on the passenger’s seat of my car. He asked if I was a CD person as well. I nodded and smiled. We talked about preferring CDs to digital downloads. I called my Mom from the parking lot because she had my son. She told me that she heard something in my voice and asked how the stretch was. It was good but there WAS something in my voice. I hung up with her quickly because I didn’t know what it was and I didn’t want to cry. I pulled out of the parking lot and had the song playing continuously in my car on my way home. I thought about the things I’m dealing with having MS and a single tear rolled down my right cheek. As the song started again, I thought – maybe I just miss Mike.