Month: June 2014

Continue reading 6.27.14 “Walking Monday”?!

I got to Barwis a bit early so I was able to watch Darren workout.  Darren is a quadriplegic and he has been coming to Barwis for 2 weeks.  I watched him get into a harness and get ready to do squats.  Because he is quadriplegic, getting him ready to do squats was more involved for now.  Once he is hooked up and ready,  I saw him look up and smile that smile that was the SAME smile I had when I first did my squats.

Ok.  So, maybe my smile was a little bit bigger (I have BIG teeth) but the sentiment was the SAME.  He started doing squats and I was TOTALLY impressed!  When he was finished with his first set and sat on the bench with the help of the intern whose name I STILL don’t know (but I dug his socks again yesterday).  I just started clapping with tears welling in my eyes because I was SO impressed.  He did two more sets and then they moved over by the mat.  I stayed by the Keiser machine a watched a team of high schoolers work out.  Because I saw a few of the boys who were wearing shirts (MOST of them were shirtless because of the warmth); I saw that they were football players.

I am NO stranger to sweaty, shirtless boys;  I grew up with 4 older brothers who played football in high school and I’ve been coming to Barwis for almost a year.  But, I MUST agree that the air was THICK with humidity!!!

Phil stretched me at the Keiser machine and I attempted to stand.  Apparently, this humidity was doing a number on my body!  I hand already told my wrists to get “their sh** together” again this morning but that wasn’t what was hurting me.  Phil told me to go over to the table and he stretched me some more.  After he stretched me at the table, we headed back over to the Keiser machine.  Phil brought over a half popcorn ball thing and placed it on my head as I was lining my wheelchair and myself up to the bar.  He came around to the other side of the bar as I slid it off it off of my head.  It was the PURPLE one!!!  He found it!  I wish I could say that I had a better showing because I had the PURPLE one but that wasn’t the case.  I only got 3 HARD FOUGHT FOR stands but I have learned that SOMETHING is better than NOTHING.  Little by little… Phil fist bumped me and shook my fist and yelled, “Joystick!” But I was too tired to fight it off.  Nick took me out to my car.  NOT a GREAT day to have MS but I’ve seen worse and I KNOW I will in the future but I did what I could.

My hands were hurting on Sunday.  It wasn’t the same pain that I have had before, it was a dull aching pain.  I noticed that the functionality of my hands remained compromised yesterday at work.  I am in the “end of the year” process of tying up loose ends for the school year.  The students have been done for the year but not yet for the teachers.  Doing this includes typing up some stuff.  I am NOT a very good typist by any means (I call myself a :”typer” because I am NOT good enough to be a “typist”) but I noticed that I was slower and it did NOT feel like “normal” typing.  I brushed these thoughts aside and just continued working.

It wasn’t until I was on my way to Barwis and the rain started coming down harder that I REALLY realized that my hands hurt.  Really, my hands felt kind of numb and it was my wrists that were hurting.  I would get searing pains in them periodically.  It was not knives being dragged up and down them as I had experienced before but it was a sharp pain that did not last very long.  The pain remained in my wrists and did not move up or down my forearms.  I immediately thought of Parker.  I was at Barwis and I was going to try to work through it for now.

Sean was with me and Phil took me to the table to get stretched.  My legs were obviously tight because it was raining.  Phil stretched me EXTREMELY WELL (it kind of hurt – that’s how I know it was EXTREMELY WELL).  I asked him if I was just going to get stretched yesterday and he said no and that we would go over to the bar in a little while.

Phil had Sean bring the orange half popcorn ball thing over.  It STILL wasn’t purple!!!  He positioned the half popcorn ball and had me stand.  I TRIED!!!  I ALMOST had a grip of the bar with my left hand coming off of my wheelchair’s armrest but I missed it and collapsed back into my chair.  Both Sean and Phil made that “OHHH!” exclamation as if they were watching an intense  football game and I dropped a pass or something.  It’s okay, “first is the worst” I told myself.  I was able to get up the next time mostly with Phil’s help.  I told him that it was “all him” and he disagreed.  Good form, Phil!  Even though we BOTH knew the extent of his help, he wouldn’t take credit.  Sean said, “Mom, you wouldn’t have made that face if you weren’t trying!” Then Sean made the face I was supposedly making.  I’m not sure that it looked like THAT though!

I had 2 stands under my belt. Phil told me that we’d do one more and then we would be done.  I told my wrists and legs it a VERY low voice (so NO ONE would hear), “the faster you grab that bar and stand, the faster we can be done.”  Phil told me that it was the BEST stand by far when I sat down again.  3 stands.  They weren’t the BEST stands I’ve ever done but…

My hands STILL felt NOT NORMAL this morning.  I knew I would call Parker from work (I since have; my appoinment is on Monday (6.30) before Barwis) and this morning, before I got in the shower, I channeled Hazel from The Fault in Our Stars and told my wrists to, “Get your sh** together!”  Man!, this journey “ain’t NO joke!” but it IS going to be worth it!!!  I’m CERTAIN of it!!!

I arrived early to Barwis so I slept in the car for a while.  Eric told me that he waved to me twice and I didn’t wave back when I got in to the center.  I told him that I was sleeping.  It was raining  AGAIN yesterday and it was wiping me out!  I had been fighting with my body ALL DAY so far but I thought I was winning for the most part!  Now, I not only was tired but winning was A LOT more difficult.  Phil told me to go to the table.  I needed his help to get out of my chair and onto the table because my legs were EXTREMELY stiff.  Once on the table, I began winning again and I could sit on the table normally with my legs dangling.  Phil stretched me while I sat and we did manual leg curls.  Then he helped me get back into my chair and we went over to the Keiser machine.  He stopped and got a half popcorn ball.  It wasn’t purple.  It was orange.  I told him that it wasn’t purple.  He said the purple one was not there and I told him that is his job to find it.  Yesterday, we would have to use the orange one.  He positioned the half popcorn ball and told me to stand.

Standing up from my chair is PRETTY difficult.  I stand with my hands on the arm rests of my wheelchair and then need to grab the bar that is a little higher than shoulder height on me.  Once I grab the bar, I have to fight to stand.  I always start with my left hand.  That’s my lead hand.  Once I grab it.  I always say, “Yeah!” Then when I can get my right hand onto the bar, I say, “Yeah!” again.  Then the fight is on!  Phil tells me to push and is properly positioning my legs.  Once I “click” he tells me to hold it.  That first stand I held it for a LONG while!  Until my legs started to shake.  Once I sat back in my chair, I asked Phil how long I stood, he shook his head and said that it was maybe a minute.  We fist bumped but then he grabbed my fist and yelled, “joystick!”  We did 2 more stands, “Yeah!  Yeah!…Click.  I stood FOREVER it seemed each of those times!  When I sat back in my chair the second time, I asked Phil how long I stood and he said, “an hour.”  I thought so!

My time was over and Phil took me to my car.  I gave it the college try 3 times and I was spent.  Phil put me in my car and once my wheelchair was stowed we fist bump once more.  Phil grabbed my fist and yelled, ‘joystick!” again, told me to have a good weekend, and shut my door.  Grrr!  But it felt REALLY nice to “click” 3 times yesterday!!!  Hopefully, it will happen MORE often now!!!  Now, I thought *BINK*S were ABSOLUTELY adorable but “click”s are SO much BETTER!!!  They FEEL a lot better!!!  Closer to standing for real…  If I stand for real, then walking CAN’T be THAT far off!!!  Right?!

Nick and another intern came out right away to get me into Barwis.  Phil and I went over to the table because an athlete was using the bar at the Keiser machine for squats.  As Phil was stretching me, I realized that I had forgotten to put my chapstick on – ALL DAY! So I was chapstickless yesterday.

When the Keiser machine was available, we headed there and Phil stretched me a little bit more.  It was time to stand.  I was up after a few tries with a fight but I got up all the way.  Phil helped to position me and I don’t know how long I stood (felt like a year) but I stood until Phil told me to sit.  I think we did that a couple of times when Phil got up and got a popcorn ball thing.  He put it on my head as he walked around to the other side.  I pulled it off of my head and saw that it was PURPLE.  YAY!  We stood 4 more times and this particular set of stands was the BEST that I have ever done!  They FELT the BEST.  I told Phil that it was standing like this that translated to an easier time walking.  Then, I told him that walking on Friday will be easier.

Then Phil dropped a bomb on me and told me that we might not walk on Friday.  We might walk on Wednesday.  What?!  How am I going to have consistent blog posts if we change out the days?! Phil told me that he didn’t work around blog posts.  Then he reminded me that it’s his world.  Well, okay.  Eventually, EVERYDAY will be a walking day so that’s cool.  Whatevs.

Phil took me out to my car.  It was a WARM day at Barwis.  Phil may have glistened but I was sweating nastily!  After 3 tries, he put me into my car.  I asked about the “Walking Wednesday” vs. “Walking Friday” one more time and Phil asked me if I keep my crutches in the trunk (I do) and said that if he feels like getting them on Wednesday, he will.  He finished stowing my wheelchair in the chairtopper.  I felt good about the day’s performance.  Despite the warmth, it was solid.  I put my fist out to him to which he grabbed it, shook it, yelled, “Joystick,” and shut my car door.  Oh, it’s like THAT!  It’s ON like Donkey Kong!!!