This word (the title of the post) originated sometime in September or late August. It was before Adam was “Phil” and Jesse was the lead guy working with me. I would come into Barwis and Adam would ask me how my legs were feeling. I always would say something about my legs being tight or hurting or something. (I was being honest). Adam told me that he just wanted me to come in and tell him that “I’m fanf***ingtastic!” (He’s somewhat of a potty-mouth). I never could say this honestly. …Until yesterday.
I get to Barwis a little bit early because I did NOT go to work yesterday because my foot (my left) was messed up and I went to the doctor’s office to have them take a look at it. I really don’t mess around with problems with my feet because I have reduced blood flow in my legs (that’s why it took six months for my broken ankle to heal) so it can lead to bigger problems. There was A LOT of slush in the parking lot so I called Dusty to have him send Phil out to get me. I felt I was going to slip if I tried myself. Phil runs out and helps me out of my car. Once in Barwis, I can leisurely wipe the snow and slush off of my wheels.
Phil stretches me at the Keiser machine and I was a bit nervous because my right leg felt really tight and my left foot was hurting a little bit. I wasn’t sure what kind of showing I was going to have. Phil sets my feet and tells me to stand. It was REMARKABLY easy to do! My right foot was reluctant to join the party at that point so he had me sit again and he stretched my right leg a bit more. He sets my feet again and I tell him to hold on to his socks. I stand with BOTH of my feet on the floor and *BINK* with ease. Then we started doing quarter squats then half-squats using my wheelchair as a reference. I’d squat until my butt hit my wheelchair and then he would tell me to stand. I’d *BINK* EVERYTIME!!! We must’ve done this 12 or 15 times. Then he tells me sit and rest and agrees that I am STILL a “sock knock-er off-er” when I ask.
For the second set of squats, I was going to keep count. I did 11 then had to rest. He asked me something (I don’t remember what) to which I reply, “because I just did 11 squats!” He comes back with, “why didn’t you do 12?” Oh, okay. Challenge accepted! I did 15 the next set. I told Phil that it was a bit anti-climactic that he is NOT super excited! But I WAS super excited for the both of us!!! We were doing the squats pretty quickly and I figured that it sounds more impressive if I call out a BIG number upon standing. So, on one of the squats I stand and say “694!” I was throwing out big, three digit numbers for each squat I successfully completed with a *BINK* as if that was the number rep I was on. We did one more set of squats (I did 7) then we did stands. It felt REALLY good to stand and squat SO well!! I’ve kindof been in a funk lately, so this was exhilarating! When I am getting ready to leave, a dad of an athlete (she must be in high school) asks me if I really did 600 of those [squats]? I smiled and laughed a little and told him that “I did like 11 but 600 just sounds like a better number.”
When I stand at the bar, I am able to find the exact spot where I feel like I am completely in balance. I told Phil that I could stand for days! And I was standing for a long time for awhile! Phil left for a minute while I was sitting. The camera guys were there (Barwis is doing a TV show coming up) and they ask Phil to demonstrate the Vertimax (one of the machines that athletes use there). They told him to jump a few times and I call to him to “do 12!” He tells me to “stand up!” and I did. When he was taking the bands off and getting off of the Vertimax I call out, “I’m STILL standing!” I continiue standing and it is apparent that I have reached my limit at that point. I continue to try anyway and feel good that I am going until fatigue. My quads are shaking!
Phil takes me out to my car and I am able to get into my car ALL BY MYSELF!!! I look at him and say, “That was fanf***ingtastic!” I completely meant it! I felt my eyes light up when I smiled as people have told me that I do when I am REALLY happy. I sat in my car in silence (running because it is FREEZING but NO radio) and text Jesse, Mike, my cousin Kimmy, and a bunch of my friends. It WASN’T even “Walking Wednesday” but I was SO excited that I had to spread the news anyway! My legs feel like shaky jell-o and I feel adrenaline surging though my entire body! I think I sat in front of Barwis in silence and drinking my water for like 40 minutes. I was trying to decide if I was going to cry because I felt TONS of emotion built up inside of me and didn’t know how it was going to come out. As I get onto I-96, it is apparent that I am NOT going to cry so I smile. It was a crooked smile that really looks like a frown but it’s a smile that my Dad used to make ALL THE TIME. I felt myself making one of his faces and that made the smile-frown more pronounced. My Mom told me that it was my Dad smiling with me on the way home when I told her about it. I like how that sounds! I’ll take it! I REALLY “grabbed my guts” this time, Daddy!!!